why do friends do this?

Question

Do any of you have friends that don`t like to see you doing anything?I mean i have a friend who i`ve known for years and when i said i was starting my driving lessons she says she had thought about doing it to and that she wouldn`t need many anyway as she`s taken them before,i said i was doing an open uni course and she wanted to do one to,i told her i passed my theory test and she says when she was drunk that she passed her ages ago but never told anyone,it`s the first i`ve heard of it!!Why are people like this?

LOL,if i say i bought a pair of shoes at £50 she tells me her new ones cost £60,why???

I certainly don`t brag as i`ve not a lot to brag about and i think it`s childish!

Answer 1

personal insecurity and lack of self worth often lead people to treat friendships as a "one upmanship" competition.

and that is what this is becoming.

she is exhibiting her insecurity as a person by devaluing everything you do.

for someone to always feel the need to use everyone as a stepping stone to their own glory is a form of insecurity that is often mistaken for arrogance.

by the way, she is NOT your friend if she can't enjoy your milestones and successes.

People who genuinely care about their friends do not compete with them. period.

Answer 2

At the office, at home, in the real world...there is always someone who has done that, been there and got TWO t-shirts. It is usually a sign of insecurity or an inferiority complex that they are trying to make up for. Either just expect it and accept it or tell her you're tired of it. Beware though, she is not going to like you showing her her own short comings. It could be a friendship ender, but it doesn't sound like she's that much of a friend. It depends on how close you are what you should decide to do.

Answer 3

There's actually a lot of reasons why she could be doing this.

1. Perhaps you're bragging, or she thinks you are, and she needs to say something to let you know that you really aren't all that special. This would be about your actions, not hers.
2. Maybe she admires you, and wants to mimic what you do. This is a compliment...go with it.
3. She might feel the need to compete with you, and upstage you...to always feel better than you. This would be more about her insecurities than anything else.

Answer 4

She is so jealous of you nothing more. Sit down and think of all the positive and all the negative things about your friendship with this person. If you feel that it's something worth trying to work out then sit down with her and tell her how you feel. If she then falls out with you over this then she is obviously not a true friend. If she admits she has a problem doing this then you know she may not be making a conscious decision to be this way. Encourage her to find out who she his as a person and complement her when she does something off her own back. Alternatively just cut her out of your life if she refuses to admit she's doing anything wrong.

Answer 5

I doubt it has anything to do with you, personally.
Obviously she has some issues with her confidence and/or self perspective. She may never act like she is sensitive, but that's typical behavior for someone like that.

They are so worried about someone seeing how delicate/fragile on the inside that they don't want people to know the 'real' person. For fear of not being good enough. So, they project things onto others to make themselves look/feel better in the eye's of a second/third party. Really, they are just feeling inadequate and they don't want you to know it, so they are always trying to top whatever you have done, so they can feel as if they are better.

This is simple psych.
Like I said, I doubt it has anything to do with you. She probobly does this to other people as well, and if she does not- that just indicates that she finds you as a threat to her self-esteem.
Insead of complimenting you, she talks about herself to make up for her lack of self worth.

It's not that she does not care for you, or does not consider you her friend- she just has personal issues that tend to get projected onto you. Because it's easier to do that than to face the problem.

Answer 6

I think in life every one have friend like that. I had one too but now we r no more friends.

I think people do this bcoz of two things.
1. they want to show u that even they have or go through the things that u have or u go through to sound like that they r no different from u.

2. They really like u and the things that happens with u and want to share or show that they r sailing with u on the same ship.

Answer 7

She is always trying to one up you. It's a competitive thing, she feels like she needs to prove to herself and you she's better in some way. I try not to waste my time on people who are like that. Real friends are just there for you, and listen to you, never judging. She seems to be overly concerned with showing how she's better at little petty things that don't even matter.

Answer 8

Some people have just got to go one better,i have a mate like that,been there,done that got the t-shirt,very annoying.She sounds like the same girl,lol

Answer 9

Maybe she is just trying to 'out do' you over silly things, don't let her grind you down and go find some new friends that will treat you with the respcet you deserve!

Answer 10

its a little confusing to read, but i think your friend is jealous of you because she seems to always want to "one up" you.

i wouldnt put too much time in that friendship...when you see her you see her, but otherwise i'd do my own thing....

those types of friends can become dangerous, especially if you meet a nice guy and she thinks she could be a better girlfriend than you...may not happen often but happens enough to keep her at bay....