Did you breastfeed?

Question

I had incredible trouble with breastfeeding, I wasn't able to produce enough for my son. In a previous response to someone elses breastfeeding worries question I gave a supporting message and someone gave me a thumbs down for it. I now feel like I've been jibed for not being able to breastfeed my son. I couldn't help it - whoever it was who thought I deserved a thumbs down - my body just coudln't do what it was supposed to.

I intend on trying with every other child I have, and look forward to it. What I would like to know is how did any of you feel when you were able to do it. I cried as I felt I'd let my child down.

Thanks Sortega :)

Answer 1

I also had this problem, I was unable to make enough milk after the first month, I had to supplement and then just completely go over to formula.

My doctors told me that it was impossible for a woman to be unable to produce milk, and that I was doing something wrong, needless to say I changed doctors because that is a load of crap.

I too fully intend on trying with all of my children.

I believe that if God had intended on us to use bottles we wouldn't have breasts. They are there for a reason (even if they don't work right lol)

Please don't feel like you let your child down, *I wept too* but, you tried, which is more than can be said for most new mothers in to days times.

Answer 2

Don't take the thumbs-down personally. You never know why the person gave it to you. Maybe they were having a bad day, or maybe it was even a mistake. Actually, I've reached for the thumbs-up button before but accidentally hit the thumbs-down by mistake when my baby knocked my arm. I felt so bad and wanted to email the answerer to tell them but they didn't have their email turned on! Who knows?

Anyway, there's no sense in beating yourself up for not breastfeeding your son. If you really want to do it again, I really recommend you get support as soon as you get pregnant. I know the support of La Leche League really helped me when I had difficult times. It might help to think back to when your supply was too low and try to figure out what the problem might have been, so that you can try to prevent it from happening next time. I included some links that might help you if you are interested. A lot of women mistakenly think they have a low milk supply when in fact it is just fine (some examples are when the baby nurses more than mother thinks he should or the mother expects milk to come in immediately). I included some links to help you distinguish whether or not it is genuinely low.

But let it go about your son -- beating yourself up won't do you any good. I'm sure he is a happy, healthy little boy. While you already know that breastmilk is best, you do what you can with what you have, and you can't blame yourself for that.

Answer 3

I was hell bent on breastfeeding and in the long run have been successful...but I'll tell you ...the first month...was dicey at best.

My baby was 10 pounds when he was born and was 8 pounds by the time my milk came in ...which was a good 8 (!!!) days.

I felt like I was starving him, and I felt all alone, and I felt like I was failing him...we were doing weight checks with the doctor every other day...and we were about to switch him to formula....and then...

Finally my milk came in and then he'd nurse and nurse and nurse...so much that my nipple cracked and were so sore that I would cry everytime it was time to feed because it just hurt soooo bad...

Finally...things are normal now...I don't hurt anymore and there is plenty of milk (As long as I drink enough water during the day) and the baby is four months old and 18 pounds!!

Don't even listen to the thumbs down mamma...everyone is entitled to their opinion...it doesn't mean they're right...but they have the right to voice themselves...

It is now a very gratifying experience..even though I almost gave up a hundred times and it took a good month before he latched right, and I had enough milk and everything was working like it's supposed to...

It's a HUGE commitment...and it's real easy to give up if you don't have the proper support or information...

Had my son not weighed in at an acceptable weight on that last weight check...I would have switched to formula...lucky for us, he weighed in well and things have worked out for us.

For next time just know that there are support networks out there for us that are WAY more helpful than your average OBGYN...definately talk to a lactation specialist next time and see if there isn't something out there that can help...because it is a beautiful experience and i highly recommend it...sleepless nights, tearful midnight feedings, soggy breastpads, and cracked nipples and all...I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

Answer 4

You should never feel let down, you tried and thats all as a mum you can do, you must also do what suits your lifestyle and family circumstance at that time regardless of whether its breast or bottle a mum only ever wants whats best for her baby and its sad that so many mums out there feel guilty or are frowned upon for not breastfeeding. I have four children when I had the twins I was 19 and to be honest had never even considered breastfedding them, it wasnt done in my family and so well it just didnt enter my head but then when they were four days old I was stood crying over the incubator of one of the twins and the midwife suggested expressing my milk for them to tube feed, they set up the pump and I must say although I knew it was good for them I absolutely hated every minute of it, I was in pain, engorged and totally uncomfortable with breastfeeding/expressing. After two weeks I stopped expressing. When I got pregnant with my third child I knew from the day I found out I wanted to try and breastfeed her, her birth was full term normal delivery and a fantastic experience she was delivered onto my tummy instead of being whisked away and having tubes put in her, she breast fed like a dream, although we did have ups and downs where I thought about packing in but I managed to persevere despite being utterly exhausted and we fed till 18 months every two hours day and night :) My fourth baby is adopted by us so obviously she is on formula but whatever I have done for my babies along the way I have only ever wanted what I felt was best and what worked for us as a family, that is all that matters at the end of the day

Answer 5

I had to start back to work when my baby was 6 weeks old and I worked retail at the time, and it's not exactly easy to take pumping breaks on an every 2-3 hour schedule when you're the manager of the busiest women's clothing store in town. So my production slowly went down and I tried everything... fenugreek, la leche league (had them on speed dial) and in the end i was only able to breastfeed him until he was about 5 months old. I bawled like a baby for it too. A lot of women have problems breastfeeding. Not everyone can do it, and you shouldn't feel badly because of it. There are a lot of jerks who get on y/a! just to tear people down and make them feel badly... screw 'em!!! They have no life, so they need to be pitied. Just keep trying and if you haven't yet, contact your local la leche league (ask your ob/gyn... EVERY town has one or can get you in touch with someone from the league) and also, hospitals have "lactation consultants" (my son's pediatrician had 2 on his staff) and all of it is totally free of charge. They literally know everything there is to know about breastfeeding and how to make it work so don't give up!!! And congrats on your decision to breastfeed... that's the most wonderful thing a mother can do for their child, I believe, and I will absolutely breast feed any other children i have. GOOD LUCK!!!!

Answer 6

I tried breastfeeding all 3 of my girls but failed with my youngest two. Not because I couldn't make enough milk but because my middle daughter was tongue tied(actually was considered double tongue tied cause it was that bad) and she could not latch on properly and could not get any....despite this I tried for two weeks before I gave up. My youngest is allergic to milk so on doctors orders had to stop breastfeeding when she was a month old because she weighed a pound less at one month than she did at birth. I too cried when I couldn't do what I thought was best for my children but both things was out of my control. I have been bashed by avid breastfeeders but I don't care what they have to say. They got lucky enough to be able to breastfeed exclusively and unfortunately I wasn't. It is ultimately the mothers decision and noone elses so don't mind the person that gave you a thumbs down.

Answer 7

Some people take this brestfeeding thing too seriously, as if that is the only way to raise your child. I do breastfeed my 8 month old daughter, and now it is a breeze and I'm glad to be able to do it. But it was hard going and painful in those first few weeks, and we did toy with the idea of a bottle to give me a break, but we persevered.

My mum never produced a single drop for any of us 5, and nearly starved my sister before anyone realised there was a problem!! I was worried that this might be hereditary, and I can still remember the pure relief when I gave my daughter her first feed, and my mum being pleased for me, although so obviously sad that she hadn't been able to do it for us.

To be honest, its got to a point now where I take it for granted, and sympathise with the bottlefeeders and their 'regime' of washing, serilising, preparing and carrying bottles... Not that there is anything wrong with it, but all that washing up...

Answer 8

You poor thing. Don't let other people's insensitivity and fanaticism bother you. You did your best, and as women, we all need to support eachother, not yank eachother down. I did breastfeed, and I thought it was really tough. There was a lot of pain at first until we perfected the latch on, and later I had a clogged milk duct. It was also tough in the beginning because my daughter was eating every 1.5 hours, so my sleep pattern was greatly disturbed. All that said, I really loved breastfeeding. It was a really special quiet time of bonding. I hope that you get to experience that with your future children. But know that your son is no less loved and adored just because you couldn't breastfeed him. You sound like a truly wonderful mother.

Answer 9

If you truely felt that you did everything in your power at the time, then you should be proud.

So many moms these days give up after hardly trying. In my opinion, partially due to other moms saying "its okay, i couldnt do it either". The number who truly cannot breastfeed is so very low and its easy for a new mom to get overwhelmed and second guess herself.

I'm not saying you shouldnt share your experience, just be aware that people tend to follow. We think ' well, that person gave up... so its okay for me to give up too' Even if she only gave an eighth of the effort that you did.

Im generalizing here, but you know what i mean?

I don't know what you said in your post, but thats just my opinion.


I seriously don't know what i would have done if i couldnt nurse. I am thankful everyday for the gift that i have. I sympathize with you, and hope you can work things out in the future. I have met women who battle everyday with thier supply and its heartbreaking.

Just some advice: Find a good support group. LLL or online... and a good lactation consultant.
Doctors know very little about breastfeeding (the woman who said she couldnt nurse her baby due to a milk allergy is a good example, my son is allergic to dairy and we've been nursing for 14 months now)

Best wishes for the future!

Answer 10

I considered myself extremely lucky - I have one baby (at the moment), and had no problems at all - nothing swollen, milk flowing in good quantity, no pain, expressing was great also. Very lucky indeed, but it might not be like that next time. My mum had 3 kids, all breastfed, but she could never express mik. I enjoyed breastfeeding and will do it again, IF I CAN. I do however sympathise with mothers that have trouble breastfeeding, and understand their frustration - just because it is natural, doesn't mean it is easy. It also doesn't make you a bad mother. It will probably be totally different for you and me the 2nd time around. In answer to your question - it felt overwheming, the best feeling ever!