I have a very troubling situation. I had a very abusive childhood where I was isolated and made to feel people were unsafe. I used to be told that people would rip me apart and I did not see other children until age 5. I was terrified of them to say the least. Mother had agoraphobia and mental health problems. I have a lot of insight so I was able to get through years of torture fairly well except I have always suffered from insecurity due to such a dreadful past. I want my daughter to fit in so I joined a playgroup, she is under one year and I try to fit in and be friendly for both our sakes but I find it painful, like people sense my oddity. I cannot help but be odd as I was emotionally tortured and unfortunately it is hard to resocialize myself at such a late age.. Is there anything I can do to hide, or overcome my strangeness so that I fit in .. I want my daughter to have lots of friends and a great social life and I do not want to hinder her development?
2007-02-28 04:33:25 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
You deserve a round of applause for continuing to work so hard to overcome this. Some people are just weird. I'm among them, too. Can you still form friendships with people in spite of you feeling they see you as odd?
If this is bothering you so much that you post about it, you may want to try seeing a counsellor of some kind to help you out with this. I, too, had a horrible time when I was younger, and still am now that I am older and trying to put it past me, and I've been in counselling on and off since high school. If financial constraints are a problem, check your health insurance. If you don't have any, there are always ways of getting help. In Canada it's the Canadian Mental Health Association. I'm not sure about anywhere else. There are always ways.
Keep your chin up! You're doing a great job!
2007-02-28 05:10:21 · answer #1 · answered by Fish 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have not had as harsh a time as you did, but I was not socialized either. I had to practice. Each month it gets better, just by experiencing the fact that people are mostly friendly. Furthermore, my compliments for trying so hard. I know it is hard and you feel like anyone can see what you have been through by looking at you.. mostly they can't however... What you can do to hide this, is stand up straight and believe in yourself!! that hides most of it. truly it does. and over time, making the effort of gaining this attitude, it will become mental attitude as well. (Make way...professional coming through...!) it will do good in the end. to both you and your daughter. she will grow up completely normal. you hold her, you love her, you care. that will be enough. You even try to do better.
My compliments and I wish you a trouble free life with your girl. Good luck! I believe in you.
2007-02-28 04:44:47 · answer #2 · answered by freebird31wizard 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds too simple - and may even sound like bad advice.., but the truth of the matter is "we all have quirks". Its just the intensity that marks one person as "standing out".
We have a right to our quirks as long as it doesn't involve stripping down to the birthday suite and crowing like a rooster in public -or- having a craving to shoot river rafters while pickin' a banjo.
When you can come to the place where you are not so concerned what other people think, and there are eccentric people on this planet that get by just fine (not meaning you are eccentric).., then you wont have the stress.
Stress in your case in part comes from being self conscious, trying to fit in. The answer is, "just realize you already fit in". You're a human being as the rest of us.., except for that one guy who strips down to his birthday suit and crows like a rooster while shooting river rafters while listening to banjo music. Him - stay away from.
So be yourself, fight the urge to be self conscious - you fit in. Thats my advice. Take deep breaths, and as you exhale, let the bad energy and worry bleed off before you enter social situations.
2007-02-28 04:59:35 · answer #3 · answered by Victor ious 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're starting off great. You're socializing her at a young age, and removing the fear she might have of being in social groups. Good job.
As for you . . . it's a bit more difficult. But by continuing to be an example to your daughter, you can't help but lose some of your own reservations and shyness.
Good luck, and keep us updated.
2007-02-28 04:40:45 · answer #4 · answered by Paendragon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son is precisely the comparable way. he's so shy that he have been given to the factor to the place he did no longer decide for to play with absolutely everyone no longer even a number of his cousins. no remember what we attempted it did no longer artwork. he's going to kindergarden this year so we knew it replaced into intense time to concentration and rather safeguard it. We bribed him. as quickly as we take him to the park if I refer to people i don't be responsive to then he has to talk to teenagers he does not be responsive to. comparable element on the shop, eating places, or fairly everywhere we bypass. he's gaining some self assurance and he's initiating to make some acquaintances of his very own. a splash push does not injury. at last she gets over it basically like he has. i'm hoping it enables. Oh yeah and the bribe replaced into if he made a chum he could desire to play in his toy room and if he did no longer he could no longer. have confidence me he spoke back right now.
2016-09-30 00:34:08 · answer #5 · answered by intriago 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cure Social Anxiety Shyness - http://SocialAnxiety.uzaev.com/?XtgA
2016-06-21 13:09:41 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your on the right road. Good luck.
2007-02-28 04:56:08 · answer #7 · answered by Key P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are ont he right track on getting out and about,and not isolating.
going to a therapist would be helpful
2007-02-28 04:43:22 · answer #8 · answered by copestir 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋