bad marriage?

Question

anyone else in a bad, lonely, sexually deprived marriage with someone who seems more like a stranger then a lover/friend.
spend most of your time alone wondering what the hell happend and how do i get back to that place where i felt 'good' about marriage and relationships? my husband is very honest about his feelings, he says hes not sure hes inlove with me anymore and that he cant just 'make' himself feel things he doesnt feel.
were 2 people living in the same house who couldnt be further apart if we lived in seperate continents.
please tell me theres someone else who is going through something similar and that im not alone? and how do u cope?
YES ive offered couseling..he says he doesnt need it..ive tried talking to him..he doesnt respond to that either! im not asking for marital advice..i just want to know if anyone else feels this way too?

Answer 1

Just turn him loose and move along to help your life be better.

Answer 2

No, thankfully, not now but I have felt that way in the past. Being alone in a relationship is much worse than just being alone. I hope that makes sense to you. There's nothing worse than feeling like you've become strangers. I"m sorry you are going through this. I will say, though that you can be happy again. First, I really think this is his problem mostly because he refuses to talk or to get help. He is miserable with himself and is at the point of just giving up....he feels like he doesn't deserve better. He said it best....he doesn't know how he feels anymore. You can't let this ruin you and take you down with him. Live your life the best you can and continue talking to him as if things were normal. Try to get him to have just a regular conversation with you about general stuff when you are at home together. Maybe a week or so of that will calm things down a bit and give a more open, relaxed feel to things. Then try to talk about what's going on with him at work, and what's really bothering him. If he continues to just check out and not respond, then you have a decision to make. You have a life, too and you deserve to have some happy times and certainly to be acknowledged by your husband. A relationship can't heal without communication. Go get counseling yourself if you need to. It will help you to not lose yourself in his troubles. It would be good for you to have someone neutral to talk to in confidence. I wish you the best and hope things will work out for the best.

Answer 3

I am in the same situation....been married now for 6 years and have three children that i adore more then life itself. But the marraige has soured. She spends her days and nights throwing every mistake i make in my face as if im a dog. We dont even sleep on the same floor of the house anymore and i feel more alone then when i WAS alone. Sex is not not on the menu as i need honest emotions without anger to even come close to that....and all we have is our love and devotion to our kids. My family doesnt understand, mainly because in texas this sort of thing just doesnt happen. I feel as though we are slipping away from each other and the owrst part about it is....im begining to think that, thats what might be the best for everyone. I try and get her to agree to counceling...and yet that seams to be something she is unfilling to try. If you want to talk more...e-mail me through yahoo ask...if you need a friend.

Answer 4

I am so sorry you are in this situation. Is divorce NOT an option? Because if he doesnt love you and isnt willing to work things out I am afraid your marriage is over. Wouldnt it be better to find someone who appreciates your love? Imagine coming home to a peaceful loving home everyday instead of the way it is right now. Good Luck

Answer 5

I am in a similar situation and have an idea of how you are feeling.My husband also refuses to go to counseling.It feels like we both would rather go our seperate ways but neither one wants to be the one to file for a divorce,We love each other, we just aren't in love with each other,if that makes any since.I wish you the best.

Answer 6

maybe he is going through a depression of some sort and maybe he doesnt want your help with it. if you love him and you know that deep down inside he really does love you, then give him his space and time, and maybe it will work out. but in the mean time you need to keep yourself as busy as possible, without completely cutting him out. call him and let him know what your doing and all the details, but have fun and live you life. hopefully he will snap out of it. i go through the same thing with my fiancee, i tell him i dont know if i love him anymore, but i do. i have a bad depression problem and he knows that, and i know i hurt him sometimes, its just hard to cope with. but im getting better and he is helping me. it took me a long time to ask him for help. but hun if you really dont think anything is left and nothing can get better, than maybe you should try to move on. very good luck to you and just follow your heart!!

Answer 7

I am in but going to be getting out of a similiar situation. I haven't been very good at coping, and have been seeing a counselor by myself. My wife won't go to counseling. I cope mostly by spending alot of time with our daughter, taking her swimming, skating, to the park, and I try to stay busy. We are going to be divorced very soon,

Answer 8

i know u r not asking for advice, but u sound so miserable. (i dont feel this way, i would never be in a rlshp where my needs are not being met). he has given up on the rlshp. i say get a divorce and enjoy the rest of your life.

Answer 9

Just have to see the marriage for what it is, you can't make him feel the way you do. Just be the person that God created, & follow your heart.

Answer 10

if he feels this way you can't change his mind your just prolonging the inevitable divorce you might as well get it done and move on you are wasting your time