2007-02-28 04:28:34 · 67 answers · asked by Queen of the Stone Age 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Television
Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up)
2007-02-28 04:32:20 · answer #1 · answered by Marc C 3 · 9⤊ 0⤋
in the episode where sideshow bob tries to destory tv, krusty is broadcasting from a shack in the desert. upon hearing bob coming toward the shack in the wright brothers plane, krusty says-" what the hell is that, a lawnmower?"
hello, super nintendo chalmers - ralph wiggum
if i could just say a few words......i'd be a better public speaker - homer
Mr.Burns: (To Homer)One more thing...You must find the Jade Monkey before the next full moon!
Smithers: Actually sir, we found the jade monkey. It was in your glove compartment.
Mr.Burns: And the road maps, and the driving gloves?!
Smithers: Yes, sir.
Mr.Burns:Then its all falling into place!
chalmers: what's that in your kitchen?
skinner: auroraborealis
chalmers: auroraborealis? at this time of day, at this time of year, in this part of the country, located entirely in your kitchen?
skinner: yes.
chalmers: may i see it?
skinner: no.
Homer: From now on, there are three ways to do things: the right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way.
Bart: Isn't that just the wrong way?
Homer: Yeah, but faster!
and pretty much anything else homer says.
2007-03-04 04:26:42 · answer #2 · answered by twenty_pounds_of_headlines 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When the beer can explodes after Bart puts it in a paint mixer and cranks up the thermostat and waits and waits for Homer to open it and then you see a mushroom cloud and chief wiggum puts the call over the radio. I can't remember if its We got a beer explosion,bring pretzels.Every episode has at least one really good quote,that's what makes the show a classic.
2007-02-28 04:37:08 · answer #3 · answered by kevin k 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Scene where Monty Burns has become jealous of Richard Branson type Billionaire's adoring public and want to be popular himself.
Burns: Simpson, I need you to love me.
Homer (scratching back of head) : Hmmm, well I'm gonna need some beer......
and
Homer after eating a waffle that has been blessed or the like
Homer: Mmmmm, sacrelisious.....
2007-02-28 04:37:03 · answer #4 · answered by John D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Judge: Mr. Hutz, do you realize you're not wearing any pants?
Lionel Hutz: Daa! Your honor, I move for a bad court thingy...
Judge: You mean a mistrial?
Hutz: Yeah, that's why you're the judge and I'm the law-talking guy.
Judge: You mean a lawyer?
Comic Book Guy (surfing the internet): Let's see here, X-Rated Girls already bookmarked, Dial X for Sex...Mr. X?? Hmm... Shall I cross the final frontier?
Fake German Homer: Marge, honey Frauline, I'm home!
Marge: You're not my husband?
Fake German Homer: Ya, Please excuse my unexplained 2 week absence. To make it up to you, we will go out to dinner at a sensibly priced restaurant then have a night of efficient German sex.
Marge: Well...I don't feel like cooking...
Wiggum: Mrs. Simpson, we have some bad news. Your husband was found DOA.
Marge: Oh my God, he's dead!?
Wiggum: Oh wait, I mean DWI! Heh, I always get those two mixed up.
Mrs. Phillips: Hi, my name is Mrs. Phillips. You said my husband was found DWI.
Wiggum: Uh...talk to that officer over there, I'm going out to lunch. *footsteps, door slam*
Moe: Aw your teef hurt, huh, your teef hurt? Well TOO FREAKIN BAD! I'LL TELL YOU WHERE YOU CAN PUT YOUR FREAKIN SODIE!
Rod: Ow my freakin ears!
Ned: Well, I'd expect this kind of language at Dennys, but not here!
Homer: Step aside and watch a pro. "Dear baby, welcome to Dumpville. Population: You"
Homer: Hello. My name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a package for me.
Postal Worker: Ok, Mr. Burns. What's your first name?
Homer: ... I don't know.
Homer: Don't worry mom, I'll take you to a place where NO one will ever find you. Disney's California adventure!
Fidel Castro: We all knew from day one that this mumbo jumbo wouldn't fly. I will call Washington and tell them they won.
Fidel's aide: But Presidente, America tried to kill you!
Fidel Castro: Ahh, they're not so bad, they even named a street after me in San Francisco.
*Aide whispers into Fidel's ear*
Fidel Castro: It's full of WHAT?!
Marge: The amish are so industrious, not like those shift Mennonites...
Football player: Is it bad?
Dr. Hibbert (from the Simpsons): Well it's a career ending injury. That's ok you can always fall back on your degree in, OH MY LORD, Communication??!!?
Football player: I know I know, Is phony major.
2007-02-28 04:41:56 · answer #5 · answered by trer 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
idk cuz i dont watch it...but here are some Homer ones i read:
THE WIT AND THE WISDOM OF HOMER J. SIMPSON
"Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for Daddys, and
kids with fake IDs."
"Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen."
"Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'sir' without adding,
'you're making a scene.'"
"Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is
important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals!
Except the weasel."
"If you really want something in life you have to work for it.
Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers."
"Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all
the time. Just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow.
Well, good night."
"Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether
you win or lose: it's how drunk you get."
"Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go
in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American
way."
"Step aside everyone! Sensitive love letters are my specialty.
'Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.'"
"To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's
problems!"
"I want to share something with you - the three sentences that
will get you through life. Number one, 'cover for me.' Number
two,'oh, good idea, boss.' Number three, 'it was like that when
I got here.'"
2007-03-05 15:18:46 · answer #6 · answered by Garbo's snowflake 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"I never apologize, Lisa. I'm sorry, but that's just the way I am."
(Quote from Homer J. Simpson)
2007-03-07 22:12:12 · answer #7 · answered by _ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When thy are going to get a family picture taken they are looking at their old ones on the wall. One has Bart holding a speech bubble beside Homer that says "I SMELL" and Homer says "Hey, I don't remember saying that". Pure genius am laffin now just thinkin about it lol
2007-03-08 02:51:59 · answer #8 · answered by frinkypanigger 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Homer disguised himself with a fake moustache to try to get some of Mr Burns mail from the post office.
Mail clerk:So you're Mr Burns?
Homer ( in a squeaky voice):Yes I am.
Mail clerk:What's you're first name Mr Burns?
Homer:I don't know.
2007-03-08 00:16:13 · answer #9 · answered by seamer100 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think funniest thing i saw (all quotes in simpsons are funny so i cant choose any 1 of them) is when skinner kisses the mummy after edna kisses the park ranger. i thought it was hilarious
2007-03-01 08:07:33 · answer #10 · answered by michael y 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From Grandpa, I can't remember what episode.
'My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star'
Oooh and also this one, from Bart: 'What a day, eh, Milhouse? The sun is out, birds are singing, bees are trying to have sex with them - as is my understanding ... '
2007-02-28 04:41:53 · answer #11 · answered by Lizzie 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋