I cant do this anymore... HELP?

Question

ok im about 17 and have gone through soo much crap in my life its not even funny! I used to cut and had stoped last year after i had finaly told my family. But the other day i just couldnt take it anymore soo i cut. I want to tell my mom but i no she will just yell at me!
My mother boyfriend runs her life and all us kids as well. I hate him soo much and want to to just go away! He is about 20 years older then my mom and b/c he has money thinks he can just tell us what to do. My mom is just "soo in love" with him that she doent care about us kids! Yesterday i came home from a long day at school and just wanted to sleep but he started yelling at me about somthing i didnt clean right and my mom just sat there and didnt say anything. I cant do it anymore and dont no what to do. He doent do anything around the house and neather does my mom. Its all me and my 2 brother.... plz help and plz dont be mean about my cutting.. you really dont no the whole story! THANKS

Answer 1

Darling, Don't cut yourself. Don't hurt yourself. I know thats how it goes. When you can't control things, when you feel helpless, you start hurting yourself, your body. But please remember, you are not the problem. Respect yourself. Protect yourself. You are an individual. You are so worthy.
You have a life ahead of you. whatever you do, small / big, whether you're poor/ not--please never belittle yourself.
Find a hobby to distract your mind of this. Apply your mind to your life like studies, hobbies, whatever you do...
If you trust someone, open up to them.
Start writing a daily diary writing 3 good things about yourself/ your life -sounds silly ,but works.
When you see her in a good mood, tell your mother ,you love her & accept her as herself but you are hurting so much. Tell her you just want her to love you & care for you. Try it sometimes-ok.
Don't give up. YOu will find peace & happiness . Time & God heals everything. Don't let negative thoughts get you down ever. It will be allright.

Answer 2

ok...you cut school so obviously she is going to be angry about that but that doesn't sound like the real problem. It has been my experience that if the Mom hooks up with a guy and gives him control over her kids, there is little you can do about it. (providing there is no abuse, of course) Is your father in the picture? Have you tried sitting down and talking calmly to her? My Mom used to freak anytime I had anything potentially negative to say about her and would close down to sometimes that isn't a possibility either. You are 17 and close to being an adult. My advice is to keep your eye on the prize - your adulthood and independance and don't screw up your education rebeling because you are hurting no one but yourself in the long run. Get your life together and start thinking realistically about the future so when you are 18, if you want to move out, you will have the life skills to do so. Do you have a job? Have you thought about what you want to do? I graduated 3 months after turning 17 and moved out that summer but I worked full time and went to junior college. Hang in there.....

Answer 3

Lissa,I am not very familiar with the cutting thing saw it for the first time on Oprah but I will pray to GOD that you can get it under control, I know for sure it is not good. As for your mothers friend I don`t understand the situation on that matter either. But Lissa I have definitely figured out that the only way is to go straight to the source don`t wait for the source to come to you. Approach with a humble spirit,be calm, try to open that closed door of communication after all somebody has closed it. If it be you then you have to be the responsible one. If it be your mother then guess what you still have to be the responsible one. Pray to GOD he is there waiting to help you. Please, Please, make the first move if you don`t I`m afraid to even think what your future looks like. Had to give some input on this Question,Aundrea from Savannah TN.

Answer 4

First I will address the cutting. What exactly does that help?

You are 17. the best thing you can do is work hard in school and graduate. Then get out and get a job and a place of your own.

You didn't mention your real dad. Is living with him an option?

Once you are of age, you can walk away from those people and never look back.

Answer 5

First of all, STOP CUTTING. It's not a good solution, and it could lead into something dangerous. Second, go get help from a counselor in the community. And don't be afraid, because I know people will start thinking if they're crazy if they go for help to a counselor, but it's entierly the opposite. They can talk with you about your problems at home, about your cutting, and find a solution to it all. That's the best way.

Answer 6

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Answer 7

Get a part time job, find a place to live.. and get yourself emancipated. See if you can stay at a friends house until you graduate from high school. But you have to prove you can support yourself outside of the family.And show responsibility to the court. Talk to your school counselor about requirements..
If you can't get along with your Mom's bf, and he isn't marrying her, it might not last.. but feel sorry for your younger brothers if they can't get along with him either.

Answer 8

My advice:Don't cut anymore.If u wana hear our advice and solve your problems,stop cutting,cause who knows,u'll hit the wrong vein,and in snap,u;re dying.....so pls..im oso trying to help you here..well bro,i understand this difficult situation u;re facing,and my suggestion is that talk to you mum nicely about this problem when you're alone with her.Try to make her understand how you feel..Pair up with your brothers to put some sense into her.And dont be offended by his yelling,,shout at him back if you think you didnt do any wrong....im not trying to teach you bad..but hey..if you're not in the wrong,y keep quiet?tell him straight off the face"who are you""dont just make me,im not gona listen to you,you're not my dad"..(but i dont really recommend this)..It oso seems that your mother is stubborn...if really she's so "hypnotised"by this love with this new bastard,leave the house.ask your bros along..look for a job and rent apartment..mayeb one day she can realise the importance of her children in her life..so it;s him or her children..

Answer 9

i know exactly what you are taliking about..that guy is a real butthead. you are "about"17.. actually you can leave home.. do you jave any relatives to go stay with??i am sorry your mother doesnt see the pain it causes you..your Mother has lost her communication skills with you because of the boy friend.. she may be intimidated also..i am so sorry about your situation.

Answer 10

you need to sit down with mom alone and tell her to get her s--- together or your gonna start making new plans!
sounds like shes just a selfish person who only cares about her needs thats just Sad!