He Doesn't Give Me The Attention I Need Anymore....?

Question

we've been together going on 10 months now i think, but lately he doesn't pay much attention to me anymore. he has warned me in the past that sometimes he gets so wrapped up into himself and his thoughts that he can be a little neglectful. i know this, but sometimes it hurts when he doesn't return my calls or text msgs, and if he does, it something short and one-worded, or the phone call lasts all of 2 minutes before he says he'll call me back in a few (which he never does, i always have to call him back). and he does this off and on a lot, he'll be very attentive and calls me throughout the day one week, but the next week, i hardly hear from him and i start to get worried when i don't. i don't think he means to be neglectful, seeing as that he "warned" me about this early on in our relationship, but sometimes i get hurt when i don't hear from him, it makes me feel like he doesn't have time for me. what can i do to help him be less "neglectful"?

and i'm not the kind of person that needs a lot of attention just to feel like i'm important or whatever, i'd just like it if he calls and lets me know he's doin okay, but he doesnt even do that.

Answer 1

My boyfriend is the same way. He explained it to me by saying "men don't feel the need to call and check up on you after a few months. The first few months we're so scared of our girl leaving us for some other guy, we call all the time and come over often. After a few months we feel comfortable around you. You should feel thankful we feel so trusting of you and feel as though we know you're there for us if we need you." It makes it worse if you say you're OK with him pursuing his career or anything like that, because it's just a "go-ahead" for ignoring you. I hope things get better for you. :) have a great day.
-Brandy (In a relationship for 1yr 4mo.)

Answer 2

Hey sweetie, your bf seems that you need him too much. It happened to me before, but in different scenario. he's just not being sweet and thoughtful that's all. But hey no phone calls in a week? that's too much. what should you do. STOP pleasing him, instead hang out w/ your friends forget about him for a bit. Don't call him. LET HIM CALL YOU. let him feel that you can live your life w/out him. Guys like strong woman. Besides bring your confidence back, your respect to yourself. YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN HIM. NO ONE can ever treat you like that, your only bf/gf whats going to happen if you marry him. DONT GET TO ATTACH or else he will ABUSE you. as what his doing now..

Answer 3

this could be that he's losing interest...you guys need to take a break to clear your minds. if he warned you about this then what is his problem? you should just sit down and talk with each other about what's going on and why he's changed. just stay calm and hope that everything is okay. if he's going through something just be by his side and if ur starting to push him away...then start moving on. it'll hurt but you can't be in love with someone who doesn't love you back. feelings change.

Answer 4

I hate to say this, but I was in a relationship where I was feeling this way and didn't want to face the truth. The truth was it was over for him but neither of us were willing to admit it. End it. If he realizes he was making a mistake, he'll come around. If it's over for him, it's over.......move on.

Answer 5

Maybe u guys should start to talk things out about this again..Explain to him how you feel,the hurt,the importance of him calling you,just that little bit...is your guys probably been having problems?something you didint know about?if he didnt,i know of nothing else that should explain his weird behaviour ..Besides his stress,is there anything else bothering him?maybe you should be in this together with him.When he said hes too wrapped up into himself,talk to him about it....

Answer 6

hmmm i hate to say this but, if he gave you an advanced warning, that means he might be a player ...or he isnt interested in a commitment.. just only interested in the" benefits "part of it.