Should I stay where I am at???

Question

I am dating my best friend for the past 5 years now, I want some advice on weather I should move in with my 3 girls which he loves very much, but, I am a bit ( IFFY) about it, he is great but very picky about stuff, i feel like his way has to be the only way, even when he invited me to buy furniture for his place...I gave my opinion, and he always found something wrong with my input. I feel like I would be walking on egg shells! I haven't gotten a ring yet, he says that he can't afford it right now,(But he is spending money on furniture and decorating the house (HE OWNS!) but says it is going to have to wait until he is financially able to buy me one! I am confused, should I not risk my apartment, and stay here with my kids??? Or should I move in if and when he asks me to. We are both 36,
He's over bearing! I wanted to have the coffemaker on the counter along with the toaster and blender and he said no. Its too much clutter! Is he just set in his own way? What should I do!

tHIS MESSAGE IS FOR BLUNT... HE DID ASK ME TO MOVE IN ... U SOUND LIKE YOU TWO COIULD BE RELATED!!! HMMMM!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

Stay where you are at for right now. Also tell him about everything you told here. Do not be rough, but firm and exact about all details. Do not be afraid to show him your real feelings and thoughts. Stand for yourself with all respect for him and you'll get more respect from yourself.
If you feel that the ring is more important for you right now, he should consider to buy it for you. Nothing wrong with it.
He used to live alone and because of that he is selfish and do not use to think about how others feel around him. He thinks like that: I love her and I know how to do stuff better and that is enough. Unfortunately, it's not enough.
He should know about your fears and concerns, so he can understands you and your position much better and then can give you proper love.
He should understand that if you are going to live with him it's going to be your and your children's home too.
He has to think how to make you feel comfortable. It means if he really loves you and your children, he will do something just because you want it, because it makes you comfy. Even with that he doesn't approve it.
You are doing stuff for people because you are trying to make THEIR life easier and happier, not just because to make happy yourself. This is even more true when you love someone.

Hon, I had read your questions here...I feel like he is playing you and never going to married to you. When man is in love, he will give you everything of his...The more anergy he gives you the more he loves you. Love is all about giving. Seems like you are a giving one, but he doesn't want to give you anything at all, even some little space for your coffemaker.
There are no place for you in his heart.

Answer 2

I have seen this time and time again. Sweetie, do not give up your apartment for this man especially if you have children. No! Because I'm going to tell you what is going to happen...he is going to con you into buying his furniture and anything else that he might need and once he gets settle, that's when his true colors will come out. If he wasn't financially stable enough to give you a ring, why in the world is he buying furniture and other items? It take money to do those things so I feel that he should be able to buy you a ring. Nobody said that it had to be top of the line but a decent ring would work. That is such a lame excuse he gave you. I will repeat do not let this guy play with your mind. Stay where you are and if he is serious about you, I mean really serious, he will take the necessary steps to get you and keep your happy.

Answer 3

I think the best thing is that he hasn't asked you to move in yet. I personally would not compromise my children's happiness no matter how much I love a guy. If he's picky about what should go on the counter, think of how he'll react when your children leave things in the wrong place or break something he just bought. I think the best thing for you and your children is to stay in your own apartment. It sounds to me, that if you move into HIS house, things will be good for a while but when he gets tired- he'll kick you and your children out faster than you can find another place to stay. Besides, you're 36- is walking on eggshells really a way that you want to live? You obviously know what kind of guy you're dealing with- make the best choice for your children! Good Luck!!

Answer 4

I don't think its a good idea you to move in with him. think about this if he have money to buy furniture for the house and not buy you a ring what makes you think that he will marry you. five years is a long time but i don't think he is ready to get marry as yet. give it some more time, don't give up your apartment. you want to live comfortable not always trying to clean up after your kids so your boyfriend would not get mad .what if one of your girls broke or do something that he did not like how will he react?

Answer 5

STAY IN YOUR OWN PLACE !!! It doesn't sound like he is ready at all to have other people in his house. What about your girls ? What if they leave their stuff around ? Kids are messy and they like to have their space too. What will he do, tell them no all the time ? They will end up resenting him. He's not their father, so if he tries to discipline them they won't understand. And you are going to have to put yourself right in the middle. Not a fun place to be !
Until YOU knmow that he is okay with the changes that will happen, stay put. Good luck to you and the girls.

Answer 6

Don't think he's going to change. If you have kids and have known eachother for a while then he needs to do be a man and ask you to marry him. If he has not yet he never will. I would never want my mom to "Live with" a dude she was not married to and to be honest that's a pretty sad situation for any kid. I agree with Getting the Milk for free ... guys won't buy the cow.

Answer 7

Don't do it... especially since you have kids. It's one thing to gamble with your own emotions, but think of the upheval for them if it doesn't work out. Since it is HIS house, he can decide one day to kick you out. Then you are scrambling to pack up the lives of your kids as well as your own.

I went through this with my ex. Luckily I had no kids at the time.

Sounds like a loser. Don't waste any more time with him... trust me. I wasted 5 years twice on the wrong men... and I can't get that time back.

Answer 8

He sounds very set in his own ways and he is already all that,what do you think is going to be like if you move in together? (missery)Dateing is one thing,living under the same roof is totally different. Don't think things will get better,they won't.

Answer 9

"Why buy the cow when your getting the milk for free?" is a saying I've heard before. It does not sound like you have much respect for him and quite frankly neither would I ... he sounds like a Man B-tch and You deserve better ... so do your girls!!! Good Luck.

Answer 10

You already answered your own question....Do what is best for your children...u said this guy is overbearing and really picky...with children u don't need that....Stay where u are hun....don't put your children or urself in that kind of position...seems to me u are doing well byurself. let him have his house and u have urs.