Me and my wife have been fighting more and more lately. Our sex life in non-existant and has been for about a year. She has 2 kids from a previous marriage and is pushing me to have more kids of our own. Personally, I am not ready to have kids and currently we are living pay check to pay check and starting to drown in debt. She is so agressive with me, I feel it is from the frustration of the kids and everyday life, and I feel that she is not the same person that I fell in love with. We have only been married for a little under 2 years so I don't want to end the relationship too early, but honestly I am not happy with my life. She stays home to watch the kids and I work 2 jobs to try to pay the bills. I constantly think that things would be much better for me if I just ended this and walked away before I dig my hole and deeper than it already is. How do you know if it is the right time to divorce?
2007-02-28 03:53:27 · 13 answers · asked by Kyle 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Dude run for the hills. Seriously, if you are workin 2 jobs to support her and her 2 kids, and she wont give you that cooter, yet wants kids with you.... Run away!!!
2007-02-28 06:07:55 · answer #1 · answered by Surrendered 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off if you do want the marriage to work make out a budget of all you bills . You need to spend less then what you make. Talk to her about cutting coupons and find little ways to save money. If you eat out at work take your lunch thats should save you about 1 to 2 hundred a month right there. If she just plain doesn't want to help cut costs I would say file for the divorce it is much cheaper in the end. For me personally I worked 60 hours a week and had my son all day and had 30 hours of homework while my ex just gave me more bills. We are divorced and I have a new car and stay home with my son and actually have more money living off of a third of what I made I am a disabled vet and my ex has his lil fiance can't seem to send the lil child support check when he was making 4200 a month. If she spends they way it sounds get out before you end with so many bills. I just have more now then I ever did the 8 years I was with my ex.
2007-02-28 13:56:13 · answer #2 · answered by blondie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before deciding anything just rethink what marriage is all about and how the woman you live with changed your life for the good if any. Do you think you are providing her enough support emotionally and to take care of the kids? Are you sure the no sex in life has nothing to do with your busy work schedule? What did you do this valentine's day to make her smile? Marriage is not a story that has an ending with lived happily ever after sentence. It is a lot of work. If you think you have tried a lot to make it work and it doesn't help you are free to break it but if not please give it your best try. Just think what your wife will be like if you leave her in the middle of this journey.. See a counselor for marriage or finance management and try to make it work. Try to remove fights from your lives and replace it with love.Good luck!
2007-02-28 12:04:08 · answer #3 · answered by mildew 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A divorce is only right if the relationship is abusive. Everything else can be worked through if you are willing. Find a counselor to talk about your problems. I suspect the mounting financial problems are a large part of your current strife. It sounds like perhaps she needs to take on a part time job and everyone needs to cut back. Keep a log for a week or two of EVERY expense. Anytime you spend any money put it in the log. You'd be amazed at all the areas you can cut back on. A counselor can help you go through the money issues and the toll they are taking on your marriage. If you belong to a church, even if you haven't been attending for a while, they will help you. They have couples who are trained to help in these situations in addition to the priest/rabbi/minister/etc. Divorce is not the answer.
2007-02-28 12:12:42 · answer #4 · answered by rosekm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your situation is not horrible. You may be unhappy right now, but you are talking about just giving up because you don't like it. That is very childish and immature. If you care for your family and marriage at all, then you will work on this with your wife. Otherwise, you are one of those people who take while it's good, and leave for greener grass. That is not love, or marriage. That is selfish and weak.
Everyone goes through though times. Everyone changes a little too, and you have to learn to deal with that and make your own changes accordingly. You can't just expect that things are going to be great all the time. That takes work and comintment.
If you are unhappy with your situation, fix it- not by quitting, but by working to fix it. If you talk to your wife and tell her how you feel, you might be suprised at how willing she is to work with you.
2007-02-28 13:28:19 · answer #5 · answered by Bearess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you have exhausted all avenues in trying to make it work. I have been in the same boat. I tried though for 5 years trying to make it work, thinking someday things may get better. I left once and he begged me to come back. So I did thinking maybe he would try, but never did. Our sex life was 0, we argued. I just got tired of and unfortunately I think waiting the five years I did to leave him just made me dislike him more. As much as I wanted to try to fix it the more I fell out of love. So, don't hold on to long. If shes not making the effort then let go of it now. Time doesn't always make things better, unless you know the other party is willing to help make things better also. Good luck to you!
2007-02-28 12:09:08 · answer #6 · answered by beaches 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a divorcee...after 17 years of marriage...I stuck in it, because of my vows and my Christian faith. But, in the end, I could not be happy with that person. I do not condone divorce and it sounds like you really want to make an effort. Have you tried counseling? There is a program called, Retrouvaille...it is an awesome marriage counseling program. It is sponsored by the Catholic church, but not at all used to indoctrinate into that religion. Here's a link: http://www.retrouvaille.info....and you're smart to not add more children to the mix. The setting is just not right. God bless you and hope this lil bit of info may help!
2007-02-28 12:07:50 · answer #7 · answered by Est 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's never the right time to divorce. Go to councelling to work it out, relax and think of why you started the relationship in the first place. Too many people in this world give up and don't try to make their relationships work. That's my advice. I would never divorce my husband.
2007-02-28 11:59:35 · answer #8 · answered by Farmwife 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce before you reproduce into a bad environment.
Since you have no kids with her, you can get out at any time you truly feel it's over. Just don't bring an innocent into it.
2007-02-28 11:56:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
When you Both have tried ALL you can with counseling together and nothing seems to work......When you feel like your love is empty and your emotions ran dry and you both agree that they nothing left inside for one another then I think it's time........
2007-02-28 12:09:05 · answer #10 · answered by daydreamer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋