When is it time to divorce?

Question

Me and my wife have been fighting more and more lately. Our sex life in non-existant and has been for about a year. She has 2 kids from a previous marriage and is pushing me to have more kids of our own. Personally, I am not ready to have kids and currently we are living pay check to pay check and starting to drown in debt. She is so agressive with me, I feel it is from the frustration of the kids and everyday life, and I feel that she is not the same person that I fell in love with. We have only been married for a little under 2 years so I don't want to end the relationship too early, but honestly I am not happy with my life. She stays home to watch the kids and I work 2 jobs to try to pay the bills. I constantly think that things would be much better for me if I just ended this and walked away before I dig my hole and deeper than it already is. How do you know if it is the right time to divorce?

Answer 1

Sounds like the both of you are under a lot of stress. Don't do anything drastic. Marriage can be hard work sometimes. Maybe you two need to go talk to someone. Or, maybe you guys need to sit down and discuss what's happening between the two of you. I'm sure you still love each other. But, sometimes everyday life can get in the way of us remembering why we are married in the first place. Get a babysitter and have a date with your wife. Maybe you guys just need a break from the kids and hassles of a job. Take time to take care of yourselves. It doesn't have to be anything expensive. Maybe dinner and the movies or something of that nature. Do not just walk away without trying to solve what's going on in your marriage. You will regret that if you do. You have to try. Best wishes.

Answer 2

Try going to couple's counselling. Also, maybe it would help if she got a part time job outside of the house, especially if her kids are in school. I'm a stay at home mom, and while Iove staying home with my son, I can't wait to get a job once he's in school. Something part time so I can be home when he gets off school.
It's hard being a stay at home mom. Sometimes it feels like your entire life is contained inside the four walls of your home. I know that my husband and I went through the same thing (sans the previous marriage/kids) when my son was very young. I would constantly find things to gripe at my husband for, he didn't do this right, the didn't do that right, when I was just really frustrated that I kind of felt like I had been forgotten, only to be remembered as a wife and mother (great, yes, but I'm also Sarah!!) and nothing else. I didn't feel sexy because I felt like the only things I could do were take care of my son, clean up messes and tend to my husband. My marriage became a sort of drudgery for me. I had no inclination to have sex because I didn't feel sexy and I felt like sex was more of a duty than something to be relished.
It also helped that I started getting back into shape. BOY did that help. Exersize is a natural aphrodisiac!
Go to counselling and try to get to the root of your problems. My husband and I have been there, and I understand both of your sides. It's difficult but can be worked through.

Answer 3

Whoa sounds like I have heard this before.My Husband was much in the same boat as you.His ex-wife was married before. She was great to him(my husband) before they got married but then after she got everything she wanted she turned into a controlling,manipulating creature.He worked two jobs while she stayed at home.He was frustrated and got no pleasure out of the marriage.He stayed with her for about 4 yrs.until he could not take it any longer.You are lucky that the kids are not yours.My husband adopted one and they had one together.She took him to the cleaners in the end.I hate divorce myself but when you feel like you are the only one in the marriage and getting no help from your spouse then maybe it's time to get out before it gets worse.Just make sure you go to a lawyer before she does.You deserve to be happy!!!!!

Answer 4

I swear step kids and money are the #1 reason for break ups. You are early in the divorce thinking.
I believe in planning if you foresee a break up. I always tell my girls to have "run money" and a place to go so you never feel trapped. The worst fear there is: is you have nothing and no place to go. When you are not afraid anymore, you can get past the paralyzing fear and look at what the deal is. I would not want children either if it means an income (child support) for her. Cold, I know but marriage is a legal and binding business arrangement. If your partner is not reputable, your business is already failed. good luck. PLAN PLAN PLAN

Answer 5

A freedom or a suitable is a state granted permission to do some thing interior a particular skill that they later set with lawsuits. it really is a comic book tale. All of politics is a comic book tale. Telling someone they're allowed to be loose isn't genuine freedom and is even worse being a finished perversion of what a suitable or freedom truly is.

Answer 6

Have you seen a marriage counselor? If not, I recommend that as a starting point. Sounds like a lot of work ahead but if you're ready to do the work I think your marriage can be saved.

Answer 7

You know it's time when you and your spouse have tried counseling and just trying to work things out and there is no resolution. Obviously you two want different things in life and there is no "in between" Marriage is a lot of work.

Good luck to you!

Answer 8

You haven't done anything to save the marriage.

Don't do anything drastic like have more children or get a divorce until you get some marriage counseling.

Marriage doesn't work by itself.....you have to be committed to make it work.

Answer 9

I don't think that it is ever time to end a marriage. You knew that she had 2 kids and you married her anyway, WHY? It sounds to me that you need to grow up and fix things. Walking away is just an easy way out and it makes me crazy how many people just throw away marriage. "Till death do us part" doesn't mean anything to people. It should be "Till I am bored of you", "Till you are fat" etc.
Please grow up and be married.

Answer 10

If your sex life is non-existent than it is pretty much over. Just sit her down one night and tell her that you want a divorce. You don't have to fight about it. Then after you do that come holla at me.