Married couples I need advice about what to do with my wife's bisexual fantasies!?

Question

My wife and I have been married for 9 years. I'm totally supportive of her and her happiness, and her desires. I was wondering if there are any married couples whose wife has tried the bisexual experience, that can shed some light on how I can be supportive.

I'm not into a 3some, because I think my wife just really wants to be with a woman. If anyone is willing to talk about this, maybe even email some about their story, I would be very appreciative. How did it happen? Was it a bad experience? Would it have been better to just leave as a fantasy? Did it spice up the sex with your spouse? Any words of advice or caution would be great.

Answer 1

If you bring another woman into the relationship with you both or just her it will cause .....problems. Even if you say now its okay . It really isn't you'll be wondering and that will lead to argueing and fighting in the relationship. Even if she never touches another woman again. Its always in the back of your mind.

Answer 2

This is a long answer, but I think you can benefit from it and make an informed decision.

In short, I do NOT recommend it. It may seem like a good idea now but trust me, it's a big mistake if you want your marriage to be healthy and long lasting.

Check this out:
I've been a marriage/relationship counselor for over 5 years now and I'vd consulted many, many couples with this quandry. I've found that about 50% of the time, couples go ahead and try threesomes. EVERY SINGLE couple that had experimented with menage a trois regretted it. They express to me that it was the worst marital decision they ever made...even the one who had the fantasy about it. Now don't get me wrong, it took some couples a few months to come to that conclusion because starting out, it was okay. Everybody was having what seemed to be a good time...and who can blame them? There was a new sexual element in the relationship, things were interesting and exciting again and both members of the marriage seemed to be okay with it. But according to these couples when feelings, insecurity, and other factors start to get involved (and believe me, they ALWAYS do), that's when things start to head south in a hurry. One spouse wonders if he/she is sleeping with the third party on the side, or sometimes a competition develops between the husband and the wife for the affections of the third party, the list goes on and on. Well most of couples that have tried this out are either separated, in the middle of divorce preceedings, or divorced all together. The other half have developed a lot of issues within themselves and their partner. I would even venture to say that these couples have done irrepairable damage to the realtionship. There's no getting over this, they have to get THROUGH it...and believe me when I tell you it is NOT easy.

So there you have it. I don't recommend it and according to the couples I've counseled over the years dealing with this problem, it doesn't sound like a good idea. Those are just the statstistics of MY findings. But when the smoke clears you can do what you want to do. You're a grown man. Am I saying that your marriage can't and won't work after this? Absolutely not. I'm not a fortune teller and I don't have a crystal ball. What I CAN tell you is that historically, this is a relationship killer. Plain and simple.

Good luck.

Answer 3

The logistics and other practical considerations of just FINDING the 3rd person are difficult to overcome, so unless she's already got someone in mind, don't worry about it. [Ask her if there is someone specific and find out if that person is bi-curious or totally bi- or totally lesb.]
I do not think that your wife is actually bisexual nor do I think that she has been "turned off" of hetero sex. After 9 years of plain vanilla, she's just finding new ways to stimulate her primary sex organ: her brain.
Living with the fantasy is probably just as good, if not better, than really going through with this particular fantasy. Based on your concern, a 3rd person would probably upset the balance of your relationship, IF y'all actually had the nerve to go through with it.
You should go to alt.com or adultfriendfinder.com and she can start corresponding with couples looking for a female for fantasy/erotic email exchange only.
If she persists, take her to the Bunny Ranch in Nevada and just pay for her first F2F experience... no strings attached, no emotional involvement, no hurt feelings. If that's not possible, take her to an adult entertainment club and buy her a lap dance.

And for goodness' sakes, relax and enjoy the fantasy with her.

Answer 4

My wife has been bisexual her whole life and this was something that I was aware of when I first met her. Eventually she did bring up the subject of missing being with a woman and we discussed it at length. At first I was a little uncomfortable with the idea but I realized that if she loved me enough to discuss it openly and candidly then she was probably not going to leave me for anyone, man or woman. I'm not going to lie, I was quite nervous at first, but eventually I became more comfortable with it and we both started to enjoy it more. One word of caution, make sure that you both communicate with each other about what you like and don't like and what the ground rules are. My wife and I set down the ground rules:

1. We only kiss or cuddle with each other
2. We always use a condom
3. I never go down on another woman
4. We both have to agree on the people
5. We only play when we are both there

You are most likely going to have some feelings of jealousy. If you do, don't keep them bottled up and don't overreact. Both of these can cause trouble. Talk to her and tell her what she did that made you feel that way. She is probably going to have the same feelings if another woman is involved so try to encourage her to talk as well. The main rule is honesty. Keep everything above the table and it should work out fine.

Answer 5

I was married for 8 years to a nice guy and from the time I was 16 or so I began to notice that I found girls as attractive as guys. I never acted on it until I was 25 , the other girl was only 18, well... she and I fooled around a couple of times before she came over to my house one night and with a couple of shots of tequila it turned into a 3some. It was weird because the next morning although I had been with her by myself I almost felt guilty for showing my husband that side of me. Needless to say that feeling didn't last too long because we had several 3somes with her. She eventually moved away, then along came another friend that me & hubby had several 3somes with. I guess it really depends on how supportive you want to be- hell if you don't want to participate sit back in a corner and watch. I bet you will change your mind. Good luck!

Answer 6

Sometimes, letting go seems like the easiest thing to do. But think about this: you've invested so much of your time and energy into another person; you've made a solemn promise; and you still know there's love, even if it's hiding underneath the surface. This website will show you how to save a marriage and avoid divorce, even if you're the only one trying https://tr.im/yxS7o

Answer 7

There are several things to consider before even getting into anything serious. How long has she been expressing her desire to experience sex with a woman? You say you are not into a threesome because you THINK she just wants to try it alone. Are you sure she doesn't want to share! Would YOU want to try a threesome? I have been married for 20 years of which 14 have been enjoyed sharing sex with my wife and other women, men, and couples.There are many things I can tell you about my personal experience in this matter but this forum does not allow for open communication in this regard. If you wish to have better feedback, I can be reached at:
[e-mail]

Answer 8

I agree 100% with Albert and most of the others. It's cheating, for one. Whether she has sex alone with another woman, or both of you with another woman, your marriage will not last. You are already questioning it, so you must not be comfortable with it. Keep it a fantasy. Don't temp your marriage, unless you really don't want it to last that long anyway!

Best of luck!

Answer 9

Oh please, you are gay right? This is every mans fantasy and you are questioning it. I think you are really looking for guys to email you stories so you can get off on them.

Okay, taken at face value I can say this, whatever you may want to indulge in outside your relationship, there must be 100% trust and 0% jealousy. Communicate before you do anything and set some ground rules. Fantasy is often much better than reality.

Answer 10

Hi, I also wanted to experiment with another woman and my husband. the first time the other woman and myself were flirting and then we went into my tent and of coures my husband followed and when i realized i counldn't do anything ( woman reasons) i left the tent but she continued to give my husband a ********. That blew up in our faces, he shouold have left when i did. the next time i got andry whe he went down on her so i put a stop ti it and he was upset. Next was with a good friend and again he went down on her and that was it for me. needless to say it was not good. i nearly left him. now i fel insure all the time about leaving him alone with other women. it was suppose to be for me but it didn't turn out that way and it gets me angry even talking about it. if your wife wants to try another woman let her do it without you if you feel comfortable with it.