She's always been bossy and i just dealt with it but recently we moved and we've bumped heads over and over again because ive gotten a bit fed up and stopped taking her orders. Were getting married in october and its becoming a problem. what should i do
2007-02-28 03:28:43 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Talk about her bossy problem because a marriage will not survive one of you in control. Remind her she is not your mother and that you aren't looking to marry someone that acts like it either! Sounds as if her people skills could use some work. Remember also that you have your whole life to get married - slow down work out the kinks.
2007-02-28 03:40:23 · answer #1 · answered by babylove9904 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, I am going to ask you, Is it worth it? Think about it...dating someone is to get to know that person, and if it is meant, then you will get married. In short terms, if she is like this now, she probably will be like that when you marry her. The only thing that will change about her is, her last name...and that's if she chooses to change that. Just take time to sit down and talk about what she does that bothers you the most. If she really loves you, then she will change...if not, move on. You can't be in a happy relationship and do things just to satisfy the other person...that would really mean that you don't love her from the beginning because you are withholding information that she needs to know. I just had this same thing happen to me, except it was the bf and now I am alone because of this. :`( Remember these words: Where there's smoke, there's fire! Meaning that the little things we tend to over look, may be giving us some big clues about the future. She's bossy now, in the long run, she may even become controlling. You"ll make the right decision, I believe in you. Just BE CAREFUL!!
2007-02-28 03:41:21 · answer #2 · answered by N0+ 3@$!Ly &R0]{3n 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all if she's being this bossy and it's really bothering you then why are you marrying her? You know how she is, you have choices. Maybe she is a control freak and needs therapy. One thing for sure, she'll never change so either accept it or leave it. Sorry to be so blunt but it's true. The only real hope would be therapy but it would take years for her to change, won't happen by October! Think hard on this one my friend, can you live with this forever?
Good luck,
Tori
2007-02-28 03:34:23 · answer #3 · answered by Incognito 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she feels out of control. Her personality is a Choloric- she is always right, she can do it better than anyone else, she gives orders, and has to be in control- it is her way or the highway.
Do not marry her. You are a peace maker, self controlled, easy going...you hate confrontation. You are called a phlegmatic. This is not a good mix if she is heavy coloric, and it sounds like she is. It WILL get WORSE. I promise. She needs to work on what happened to her as a child. Counselling is what is needed.
2007-02-28 03:38:02 · answer #4 · answered by northville 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell her that a relationship is both partners giving 100% and sometimes there is a need for compromise on the others part. If you think that it will get better when you are married you are wrong.if she is very controling now how do you think she will be once you are married? Maybe you should postpone the wedding unless and until you can both work this out.Think about it for awhile!!!!
2007-02-28 03:41:12 · answer #5 · answered by miss-snoopy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer is already in your own question! Someone can only be bossy around people that need it. Think of the phrase "Leaders can't be led!" If you are a leader and make your own decisions, you don't need anyone else to tell you what to do. Ignore it or try to understand why she perceives you to be someone that needs a leader around you all the time!
2007-02-28 03:35:46 · answer #6 · answered by the_pharaoh109 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should first look to her family and see how she fits in with them.
Did her parents always bark orders at her? Is she the youngest of the family? She could be sick of people telling her what to do and wants to take charge finally.
If thats the case, then bring it up to her that you dont want this relationship to be a dictatorship. You want equality and dont really appreciate her barking orders at you all the time like a dog.
But if her family isnt like that and shes always been bossy in her family, then ask her family how they deal with it.
2007-02-28 03:34:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she doesn't want to make a mistake marrying you and she wants things to be straight between you. She obviously loves you otherwise you wouldn't plan to wed but maybe some things annoy her and she prefers to say it straight. Or she feels insecure and gives you orders so she stands out.
I think you should do the same : tell her you are annoyed, tell her that it's getting on your nerves and maybe you'll reach a compromise.
Good luck
2007-02-28 04:02:09 · answer #8 · answered by jol22n 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kevin, I married a Filipina and she always was bossy for the four years i dated her and she is worst the last 21 years of our marriage to her...i bite my tongue and usually just give her small victories...but deep inside i am a tiger and boy do i tell her off! but on the outside i just say.."yes dear"..its safer this way..have a good life tiger
2007-02-28 03:34:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her know you are not a kid and that she needs to ease up. She needs to realize the way she is treating you and let her know its not cool. Communication I've found out is what makes the marriage work, now is a good time to try it out. Take care of this before the big day.
2007-02-28 03:35:42 · answer #10 · answered by ilisalec 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋