What's his problem?

Question

About 5 months ago i ended a 10 yr relationship with someone that i loved dearly and we have a 2 yr old together. He was abusive and cheated and not even a month after our relationship ended he had a new pregnant live in girlfriend. Of course i was bitter when we first broke it off and i found out about the other girl, but i have promised myself happiness, therefore i have moved on and sort of forgave him for everything that he has done to me but whenever i talk to him about our son he has an attitude and curses me out and continues to verbally abuse me. Now i have learned to be strong and his words no longer affect me, but it's hard to keep peace between us to raise our son when he keeps acting like this. He will come to my home unannounced and demands to see his son whenever he wants and he does the miniumum to provide for him. How do i handle this situation. I thought that maybe things between us would be better apart but the level of disrespect has increased. What do i do?

Answer 1

Honey, go to court and have a judge set a visitation schedule, the judge at the same time will order child support based on his income. You can explain the judge the situation of his verbal abuse against you and he can order a "no abuse order" or something like that. With establishing a visitation schedule he can't just show up at your place whenever he feels like it.

If he continues to be verbally abusive you can also get a restraining order or even file harassment charges on him. Document EVERYTHING, times, dates, things said. When you go before the judge present him with as much information as you can. Good luck!

Answer 2

First I want to commend you on having the strength to do what needed to be done, both for yourself and for your son. That is no environment to grow up in for anyone. And you have proved yourself to be an exceptionally mature woman by forgiving the man who continues to cause you so much pain. I am not suprised that he has become more belligerent towards you as he no longer has any power over you, this is a sore spot for anyone's ego.

I would highly recommend that you contact a lawyer regarding the custody situation, child support, and if necessary, file a police report -- he has no right to show up at your home and verbally abuse you, this is assualt. For the sake of you and your child I would contact legal authorities ASAP. When that craziness is behind you, you will be able to truly move on and find greater happiness :) I'm wishing you the best!

Answer 3

Lay down the law. You do not have to allow him into your home whenever he feels the need. The thing about abusive men is control. By showing up unannounced he is still controlling you. He can do whatever he wants to do but it's not okay for you attitude is also abusivce behavior. It's your life and your happy, you don't need him and/or his life and it just really pisses him off that he can't control and abuse you anymore.

Answer 4

I also wanted to add something to the first responder...if possible...file police reports against him (and anything that he does to abuse you or continues to abuse you). You can start a file with the local police to have a case against him to reinforce that visitation schedule, child support payment based off of his income, and no-abuse thing. but be sure to document everything. if possible you may want to search out how to record telephone calls for when he does call you or you call him and he is abusive to you over the phone.