no intimate life with my husband?

Question

since as long as I can remeber (since I've been active) I have never realy enjoyed having any kind of intimacy it is more of a job to me when my husband wants to do any thing I never get excitted or orgasim he is not bad in bed and it is not our relationship It has always been like this even past relatioships when we do do it I just lay there or do the work but either way just wait for the time to by I know he can tell and I know its ruining us in that category but I'm scared to go to the doctor IS THERE ANY THING THAT you think would help for over thee counter??? it has to be my hormones right?? inbalanced?? please help save my marriage

Answer 1

I just got divorced from the exact same reason. If you love eachother emotionally it shouldn't really affect your marriage, but if you don't, the marriage is over ones the thrill and the chemistry is gone. I feel for you and your man.

Answer 2

If you're not into sex, it usually means that you aren't having orgasms when you have sex. Orgasm = want to have sex!! I think most people are capable of having orgasms if they are healthy. Try a little self love (wink wink) to see if you can have an O that way. I was watching Dr.Oz on Oprah the other day, and he said that scientist consider sex a basic human need.. lower down on the list than water, shelter and food of course, but still something humans need for a happy life. Don't be ashamed, I think a lot of women have the same problem that you have, so it is being addressed more in the medical field. Go see a doc, maybe a woman doc would make you feel more comfortable. This is your life - don't be ashamed for wanting it to be the best life you can have. Maybe find a website and online forum for women that can't have an O and talk it through on there first. SO you can see that you are not alone and share your experiences with others with the same issues. Good Luck...

Answer 3

Well if you have always had it it could be psychological, have you considered therapy. I am not saying that this is the case, but abuse victims or people that were introduced to sexual things to early sometimes have this kind of reaction. Maybe explain to him and maybe you guys can experiment with somethings that you may like and try to teach you to enjoy it. You may also find it to be dirty or something, again psychological. I would sit and think about things or watch some movies and see if anything they are doing excites you and then you and your husband can experiment with it. Intimacy is a very important part of a marriage, you really should try to get past it whatever it takes.

Answer 4

Look girl you are not alone in this world that is for sure!! I think you should tell him how you feel and try different strategies according on how you feel! Guys think they know what they are doing but in some cases it takes time and average guys from friends I think they claim to last up to 1/2 hour but according to their wives, girlfriends, or friends they are intimate with they claim is only between 6 and 17 minutes max..... I know is not enough time to discover what would make you feel good!!

I think I am a wierd guy........I can last if tired about 1/2 hour to 45 minutes if I push myself but if rested and have a nice healthy diet and exercise can last up to 2 hours......I am infertile and think has something to do with this........I don't want to sound like a bragger although I can see how it could be missinterpreted, you could ask the guy to try not too finish tooo soon or you could contract your muscles as you breath heavily to see if you can get a better feeling!!

Last resource I don't mind helping out but I do ask to be as a last resource since I don't want to destroy your relationship and being with another person could affect you or your man for sure!!

Good luck!!!

Answer 5

You’re the only that can help your marriage we can’t help you.

Go see your doctor, you should be seeing an OBGYN anyway at less two times a year, there’s where you should start and if not? you need to see a doctor if you care about you and your husband.

Just go and get some help, if not you then you marriage.

Good luck

Answer 6

It seems to me that it is hormonal, and the best thing you can do is go to the doctor, sorry. I don't see a reason why you should be scared if it's supposed to help you. Don't you get annual OBGYN checkups? That's the best time to ask. It's really your decision, go to the doctor, or get an unexpected divorce.
Other than that, try foreplay..

Answer 7

Go to the store and buy a bunch of finger foods like grapes, cubes of cheese and other things you might like. Oh yes and a bottle of honey too . Have a picnic with your hubby in your living room by candle light, in your birthday suits . What a great way to spice up the romance. and fun too!

Answer 8

Go to the doctor. It could be something serious. Sexual intimacy is a very important part of any loving relationship. Good Luck : )

Answer 9

You need to talk to your GYN, and/or even a sex counserlor alone or together. This will be better for you than you think. But if you are too scared to do anything, nothing will get better. You have to decide what you want more- to avoid your fear, or a good sex life with your husband.

Answer 10

Sorry dear...no over the counter thing will help you.

There is something in your past that has blocked you or you have never experienced what GREAT feels like to crave it.

I can help you find which and help you get thru it.
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