I am 54 years old and my wife died when she was 51 years old. She loved me so much. I did not have any feelings for her. We have been together for at least 30+ years. I never had children with her but I did started having sex with her since I was 28 years old. She died from an accident. I didn't kill her. I told her "I love you" countless times. My feelings for her weren't that deep. If I left her, I wouldn't have anymore sex and she'd be heartbroken and I would start paying for child support if she did got pregnant. I never fell in love with her. If I did fell in love with her, I know I would be very sad right now, but good thing I didn't fell in love with her. I can imagine myself leaving her and not being sad. I don't feel bad at all for her death. I had to pretend to be crying on her funeral to let her family think that I was sad. To be honest, I am not sad. Before she died, she said, "I am very happy to have met you in my life." When she was alive, I treated her like a queen.
2007-02-28 03:01:25 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I did not have any feelings for her. I was only using her for sex. I treated her like a queen so she can have sex with me. not that I love her or anything. I got married with her so she can be happy, not me loving her. I don't even have any feelings for her nor like her. I am very loyal to her and didn't cheat on her once while she was alive. and no, i don't want to pay someone to have sex with me. I can keep my money this way. If she only outlive me, I can have sex with her until I died.
2007-02-28 03:02:21 · update #1
and plus, if i did pay a hoe to have sex with me, she probably has stds, i rather not take that chance
2007-02-28 03:05:34 · update #2
I think it's a little twisted, but if she truly felt loved & cared for you that much, she died happy & that's what everyone wants.
2007-02-28 03:05:32 · answer #1 · answered by texas tornado 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My question is how you define love. You had a full life with her and so... what are you looking for?
You say you married her for sex and had a relationship because you had need sex. You were a devoted and great husband, lover (apparently because you never got tired of her), and all that good stuff. What make you so sure you didn't love. Love is not like the fairy tale all happy and that BS, what you did is the very definition of love in my book. Just because you're not heartbroken and feeling of remorse doesn't make you not love her.
For one thing, If you want to be some with some else you would. If you were using her for sex, then you wouldn't do what you did.
From your math, you basically waited four+ years to have sex with her if she just dies recently. Because you would be 58 not 54 if start haveing sex with her when you first been together.
So either your full of S*** or basically you feel horrid because you don't feel what is defined as remorseful or whatever. My be you are happy that she has a happy life and is content with that.
My father cried and did all that stuff when my mother passed away. He broke every promise to her on her death bed and he dated someone two weeks later after her death.
You have a lot of redeeming characteristics.
I leave the bad side of my personality out if this one because I have a lot to say with about this.
2007-03-08 04:23:20 · answer #2 · answered by That Guy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you knowingly married her so you could have a concubine the question is not was it wrong it is WHY?
You were married for 30+ years without loving her?
Are you sure that this is not grief creeping in and clouding your mind?
If this is really the way you felt I would suggest that you were not only wrong but quite misguided. Why would you invest 30 years without love but just sex? It seems like a terrible waste of time and life.
Upon further review, are you asking this question to find out where you can find sex without love or money?
What a waste.
2007-02-28 11:30:49 · answer #3 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I read this question several times; it is one of the saddest things I've ever seen on YA. To me, this isn't a simple question of right and wrong: it isn't that black and white. Apparently you did not hurt her, and she "felt" loved, even if she wasn't. It's hard to say that you "did her wrong" under those circumstances, yet it's also impossible to condone a lifetime of insincerity.
I guess for me the real question is why on earth you would have spent so much time living a lie. But only you can answer that, and I'll bet you find introspection pretty difficult after years of deception. Perhaps a therapist could help you.
2007-02-28 20:17:08 · answer #4 · answered by Helen W. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It must have taken a lot to write this post....such honesty even if unpleasant to read is to be respected. I really wish you could have loved your wife because you missed out on a wonderful part of the human experience. I hope that your wife really believed what you said even if you didn't really mean it. It was unfair of you to live like that, but it is a bit late now for those regrets. I am lucky, I love my wife and I also like her very very much. I hope that you can find true love some day...
2007-02-28 11:46:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
People marry for lots of different reasons. Marriage is a contract but the terms of the contract vary for different people. As long as both parties benefit from a contract and are satisfied with the terms of the agreement then who is to say that is was wrong.
From the Christian viewpoint perhaps if you were not being sincere in your wedding vows then to them perhaps it was an invalid contract in gods eyes. But in the end it depends on your beliefs.
Also some people do not feel emotions as strongly as others do. Sociopaths do not feel empathy for others. I believe there are many sociopaths living among us and as long as they are not hurting others many people would not normally even realize that they are sociopaths.
As for the funeral different people feel grief in different ways. A lot of times people do not begin grieving until well after the funeral is over. I loved my mother very much but grieved far more after everything was over.
2007-02-28 11:14:03 · answer #6 · answered by aiguyaiguy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boy she must have been good in bed for you to stay with her 23 years and treated her like a queen. Who cares if you misled her, you gave most of your life to her just to have safe sex. For all you know she might have felt the same way and was just a real good actress. Maybe she was just using you for security ($) Each of us chooses to live our life according to our own morals. I wonder what you do for sex now.
By the way if you think sex feels good, you should try it with someone you love...it is amazing.
2007-02-28 11:24:28 · answer #7 · answered by lily 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is this a question? Why are you trying so hard to convince us that you didn't love her, or are you trying to convince yourself. There was absolutely no reason to post this. Just let it be, if you feel guilty that's on you. Just thank God she died without knowing the truth.
2007-03-07 20:39:46 · answer #8 · answered by Cat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to live with yourself. You sound like a totally rotten person but at least you treated your wife well. You may have lost the best thing that ever happened to you but you are too wrapped up in yourself to know it. Your loss.
2007-02-28 11:09:45 · answer #9 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He** yeah!!! You are the coldest bastard I ever read about. Some woman is going to make you fall in love with her and then you will face the harsh reality that she don't give a sh** about you. Truth be told I hope it comes soon!!!!
2007-03-07 16:42:19 · answer #10 · answered by Miss G. H. Etto 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋