Has anyone ever had experience being the third wheel in a polyamourous relationship? And if so, how did you handle issues, problems, time, ect? I am falling in love with him, him with me but his other girlfriend (who's idea it was to begin with!!!) now wants to pull the reigns in on him and make it hard on us. It's all very confusing!
2007-02-28 02:57:29 · 20 answers · asked by blackwidow13 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
When playing with fire, don't be surprised you got burnt. However, if you and this guy truly believe that it is you two meant to be together and not with the other girl, then you need to sit down and plan how to go forward from here. You both need to be honest with her and let her know that things have changed and unfortunately you don't feel there is room for her anymore in this relationship. Be mature and adult about it and upfront. You and the guy need to be united in this in order for it to work also. No marriage or other relationship is cemented in stone to last forever, people work at it. This polyamourous relationship probably wouldn't have lasted forever either. Good luck and God Bless.
2007-02-28 03:02:35 · answer #1 · answered by tersey562 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Here's how it looks to me from the info you gave:
1. It sounds like the other girl has some control issues, and maybe polyamory isn't such a good idea for HER.
2. Another possibility is that the man was not totally commited to his first gf, and he welcomed you into the relationship to play one of you against the other. (This is not an ethical position in poly relations, FYI)
That said, you have to accept the fact that when a woman has sex, her emotions get involved... so coming into a poly relationship as the secondary female, you need to respect the primary relationship. If the primary relationship was not clearly defined to begin with, you are likely to have a complicated mess and SOMEONE is gonna get hurt. Live and learn, and good luck to you in your future relations.
2007-02-28 11:12:06 · answer #2 · answered by not yet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since this is bothering you, doesn't it beg the question, "What future could you have with him?" How could you ever trust someone to be faithful only to you, who was willing to compromise his love relationship for sexual gratification?
Your confusion comes from being in the wrong place/situation at the wrong time. I'm not here to judge; you asked for an answer. I don't think you're a bad person, just made a poor choice. I promise that having been in the midst of confusion myself, (an affair) it will vanish when you remove yourself from the equation.
Blessings to you!
2007-02-28 11:13:27 · answer #3 · answered by Heffiner 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
relationships can be very confusing. for me the answer is simple I never want to be second place. I will never except a cheater because I know if he cheated on her he will cheat on me. My suggestion to you is to find a guy who will love you and only you. That eliminates some of the confusion in the relationship.
2007-02-28 11:02:55 · answer #4 · answered by pnut 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok this is a tough one not to judge but here it goes.
I have only thought to have 3somes with my partner but when I got down to actually really thinking about it I was jealous and we haden't had serious converstations about it.
It's very hard for women not to be jealous its in our blood or something haha..
This relationship may have sounded like a good idea but won't in the end. Someone will get hurt because she loves him, does he love her?, hes falling in love with you, and your falling in love with him.
Now do you get jealous when he is intimate with her?
If you answered yes you need to sit down and talk with him about what he would like well more who he would like.
She won't let up and it will lead to her making him choose either way...he'll either choose her, you or to be single...
so before it gets ugly have the talk with him...if your both in love end her now and most likely wouldn't recommend doing it again..
I really hope that helped and hope I didn't sound judgemental.
2007-02-28 11:04:47 · answer #5 · answered by colie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I never did. But his other girlfriend should be reminded that she should be careful what she wishes for because she just might get it, if this was her idea, I don't think it went as planned.
2007-02-28 11:01:07 · answer #6 · answered by QT 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Smart!
2007-02-28 10:59:49 · answer #7 · answered by The First Dragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's why we are supposed to have ONE at a time. See what greed gets him? Soon there will be none in his life at all,I bet you.
2007-02-28 11:00:33 · answer #8 · answered by mikey 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
love is not supposed to be confusing, find another that will make a smile on your face!
2007-02-28 10:59:30 · answer #9 · answered by DrPepper 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
omg i have no answer to this ? and i dont want to judge so good luck in finding someone who wont and that will give u a good answer
2007-02-28 10:59:58 · answer #10 · answered by phccchick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋