2007-02-28 02:34:48 · 26 answers · asked by rick n 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
sounds like you're not communicating very well. Maybe counseling will help you both understand what is going on.
2007-02-28 02:36:54 · answer #1 · answered by J F 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her if she doesn't want to sit her down anyway and let her know you are ready to listen. Something deep down is bothering her and she doesn't know how to approach you. Anger can make you do and say stupid things she probably doesn't mean it at all. She just wants you to hurt like she does. Talk, if you can't keep trying be patient and don't lose your temper if you have to leave for a little bit to let her cool down and do a little thinking then do it. Come back and try again if not than it could be more serious and need counseling. I wish you the best. Oh and if you guys reach an understanding and compromise with eachother on the issue let her know that making such statements are not to be taken lightly she shouldn't say them unless she really means it and plans on acting on it.
2007-02-28 10:46:10 · answer #2 · answered by ilisalec 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be confident, supportive but not clingy, listen to her and say things like "tell me more about why you feel that way..." when she tries to talk to you (she's mixed up right now), groom well, start a new fitness program, be a gentleman but not a doormat, suprise her one day by asking her to go with you to do something different (been to the zoo or botanical gardens lately? ever? anything works--get out of the house). Respect her and make sure you don't let her disrespect you (which she is kind of doing with this yo-yo act--don't get defensive, but don't play that appeaser game.
If she's gonna leave, she'll leave. But don't get sucked down the rabbit hole. You can only be a secure, confident male who is respectful and listens to her (without interpreting what she says and without countering with your own complaints--your only complaint is that she is mixed up right now).
You need to regain her respect and interest in YOU. So be more interesting and respectful yourself. Buy some nice clothes if you have the $$$. Come in handy for dating if you divorce anyway.
2007-02-28 11:17:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and have a heart to heart you have to figure out what she realy wants. Being on an emotional rollercoaster isn't good for either of you. You both should scream and get all your frustrations out cry together if you have to but those true feeling must come out. If counseling is affordable maybe you two should try that. If not that try a little space or maybe you should spend more time togther doing activites together that you love.
2007-02-28 10:39:43 · answer #4 · answered by JELLE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you want to live like this? Have you tried marriage counseling?
The next time that your wife says she wants a separation, get the suitcase down and bring it into the bedroom and ask her if she needs help packing.
2007-02-28 10:38:12 · answer #5 · answered by kja63 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either she's playing head games with your emotions for her enjoyment or she has a boyfriend and can't decide between you, or she is a very confused lady about her feelings for you. The first step should be communication (with out screaming at each other) and if that don't work, seek counseling. they know better how to help you and your wife decide how best to resolve this issue.
2007-02-28 11:09:51 · answer #6 · answered by Dan ( 2 ) 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get into marriage counseling and find out what the two of you are doing that is not working.
It sounds like she is unhappy about parts of your marriage, but she is afraid to say what is bothering her. My wife has been in therapy since before I met her and I go to some of her sessions. It has been great for us. We have learned how to communicate and it creates a safe place to bring up touchy issues.
Take care,
Troy
2007-02-28 10:40:23 · answer #7 · answered by tiuliucci 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Figure out what YOU want and then work toward that goal. If you want to separate then begin talking to your wife about details. If you want to make your marriage work then start taking steps towards improving it.
2007-02-28 10:46:28 · answer #8 · answered by Momof2 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should find out why she wants it??? Try counceling...I have been with my husband ten years and married seven there has been times in there that I have wanted out and have asked for a seperation. Examples of why I wanted out are I was mentally unstable to handle anything, I didnt think he wanted to be with me anymore, I thought I needed some one else. We are still together and have conquered alot these years. Just keep trying if you want it to work if not than let it go.
2007-02-28 10:43:14 · answer #9 · answered by E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she can't make up her mind, seems to be situational, and may come when she is not getting her way. it may be a way of controlling u or getting what she wants, by threatening u with a separation. next time she says it agree with her. counseling may help if she would agree to go and be honest about what she is angry about. could she be cheating on u and unable to decide between u and him?
2007-02-28 11:01:29 · answer #10 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she sounds very confused..but most women don't know what they want anyway.
keep being their for her and tell her you love her and always be there for her no matter what she decides..then let her alone to either love you or leave you...don't be a clingy vine..go to a shrink if you think it will help...most just take your money and give you a lot of bull...go to the library or bookstore as there is tons of books on this and also right here on the internet...cheer up...its usually the women who has this complaint...my women knows better with me...she would only say this once to me and she knows what I would do..but thats just me as I have had this problem before...you always hurt the one you love...why? because they won't fight back...period
2007-02-28 10:41:51 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋