do you think she is a user?

Question

a friend of mine is always asking me to keep her kids the problem one willnot listen to no one not even her own parents. she called me and askedme to keep her kid yesterday and i told her i couldnt becasue my child had practice for a talent show (which is the truth). and she e-mailed me last night and cussed me out. I was nice when she did all of this i told her that my child had stuff to do/ i told her my daughter was my responsiblity and her child was hers. what do you think

Answer 1

There are some very complex dynamics when someone with a "Needy Personality" are involved. Needy personalities usually see themselves as deserving of everyone,s assistance, without the desire to show personal responsibility for their own destiny. They want things, when they want them. And, if they fail, it is always someone elses fault. She wants you to take responsibility for duties and deeds that should fall squarely on her own shoulders. And, when you can't give in to her needs, it is you who becomes "the bad guy". It is not your duty to teach and train up her child. It is however, your duty to protect your child, and demonstrate the proper behavior of children within your home, and, allowing this disruptive child to infiltrate your home, is not fail to your child. She should not be forced to have to experience the stress and turmoil created by a strong willed and undisciplined child. Sadly the little girl is the creation and product of a needy and manipulative mother, who, by the way, is not your responsibility either.

Let me give you an example. The Word of God says that we are to show love and care for one another. Here is what the word has in mind, when it gives us that command. Say that you are on a farm, and, it is your responsibility to feed and care for all of the pigs on the farm. You go to the pig pen, carrying a sack of feed, and you feed them. Then you carry several buckets of water to the pen and pour it into a waterer. You go to the farm house, and, bring down all of the shots that are required to keep them healthy, and, administer them to each pig. Now, you go back to the farm house and rejoin your family, and, live there with all of the joys you have earned by being a responsible farmer. You have lived up to God's command to "Love and Care For". And, you get to maintain the serenity of your home! What is not required, is for you to go down to the pen, and, march the pigs into your home, to contaminate and defile it. You don't ruin your home at the expense of the pigs. You don't destroy the serenity of your home (and your child's "Safe Haven") by taking on disruptive responsibilities, that clearly are not your responsibility. And, by the way, a real friend wouldn't ask you to.

Answer 2

She is upset because of the fact you didn't keep her kids, she knows that everytime she asked you she knew you would say yes but this time you didn't and you gave her the reason why so don't sweat the fact that she is upset, she will get over it cause she may need you again so it aint your fault like you said her child is her responibility and by her cussing you out that wasn't even called for her to do, if she was a friend like she said than she would have understood instead she wants to cuss you out. She seem like a user, after all the times you have kept her child and know she wants to get angry and cuss you out. Let her know what you have been doing for her so that you sure didn't deserve cause she don't know what she may need from you again. So that is her hard luck cut her loose or let her know you aint got time for no drama for not watching her child. You have one of your own and have things to do with your child then trying to keep hers all the time. Tell her next time let her family members watch her since she wants to act like that. You gotta let her know you aint got time for no mess or no undeservable emails. Speak your mind sweetie!!

Answer 3

I think that your friend IS a user. She asked you to watch her kids and when you told her no, she cussed you out. You did whatever you could to look out for your friend, and she is taking advantage of your kindness. She is not considerate of your needs and responsibilites so what kind of friend is she? Apparently, not a good one. Talk to her about the situation and let her know that you will no longer help her watch her kids because she cussed you out due to the fact that you have your own kids to take care of. Do what you think is best for you. I hope my advice helps. Good luck.

Answer 4

ur friend is not very nice do u ever ask her to watch ur kid and she should no that her kid dont listen thats not cool see i have a son and i know some times u need a break but if she asks u all the time thats not right exspecally if ur nice about there was no reason for to do that if u guys are good friends

Answer 5

If you were busy then you were busy. It's not appropriate to verbally abuse somebody at any point in time for something as trivial as this.

There are babysitting services and other people who can help at all times, day care centers, and what not.

In no way is this your fault. She's probably a good person. We all have our little quirks, and you're a good person for helping out. If she's using you or not, that's your decision.

Answer 6

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Answer 7

I think you were right in what you said, she had no right to get mad because you wouldn't watch her kids. You right you child comes first. And she should learn how to take care of her own kids.

Answer 8

So - she asks you a favour, and has a go at you when you can't do it? Where I come from that's called taking the p*ss. Do you owe her anything? I mean does she look after your kids for example? It sounds like she feels you owe her one. If you don't, tell her to get to f*ck.

Answer 9

i think she might of obviously thought that you were lying, but you what is there to feel guilty about??? i mean you were saying the truth right. those ppl you just avoid. you have no obligation to be taking care of her kids even if you could ,, you just don't have to. friends understand and she is not a friend.

Answer 10

I think you did the right thing. You're kid should come ahead of your other plans and before friends. You have to raise them right.