I am 54 years old and my wife died when she was 51 years old. She loved me so much. I did not have any feelings for her. We have been together for at least 30+ years. I never had children with her but I did started having sex with her since I was 28 years old. She died from an accident. I didn't kill her. I told her "I love you" countless times. My feelings for her weren't that deep. If I left her, I wouldn't have anymore sex and she'd be heartbroken and I would start paying for child support if she did got pregnant. I never fell in love with her. If I did fell in love with her, I know I would be very sad right now, but good thing I didn't fell in love with her. I can imagine myself leaving her and not being sad. I don't feel bad at all for her death. I had to pretend to be crying on her funeral to let her family think that I was sad. To be honest, I am not sad. Before she died, she said, "I am very happy to have met you in my life." When she was alive, I treated her like a queen.
2007-02-28 02:31:15 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I did not have any feelings for her. I was only using her for sex. I treated her like a queen so she can have sex with me. not that I love her or anything. I got married with her so she can be happy, not me loving her. I don't even have any feelings for her nor like her.
2007-02-28 02:31:27 · update #1
I am very loyal to her and didn't cheat on her once while she was alive.
2007-02-28 02:33:08 · update #2
How can you live with someone that long and not have feelings for them? This doesn't make any sense. How long as she been died? maybe your in denial. Who knows but it sounds like you need a therapist. Maybe you have just allowed your feelings to be numb for so long that you dont know how to feel anymore. besides its in the past now and you have a chance to make a happy life for you....
2007-03-07 02:48:03 · answer #1 · answered by txO3blueeyes 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your situation is more common than one would think. There is a prevailing opinion that everyone should marry for love, but, sadly, that is often not the case. People marry for what others may consider selfish reasons all the time. Need a roommate, so, get married. Want to live together to save money, so, get married. Need a mother or father figure for my child, so, get married. Want companionship in my old age, so, get married. So on, and, so on. The moral issue isn't whether you were in love with your wife. Although, it would have been better for you both, if you had been. It is that when you lived within the same household, and, had sexual relations with this woman, you did it as man and wife. We seem to see our society and its culture as the standard by which we judge the rest of the world. But, a large number of societies have pre-arranged marriages, marriages of convenience, politically and business motivated marriages. marriages for family alliance and marriages for profit. I admit that your motives may not have been the most noble, but, she loved you until the end. You treated her well, and, were faithful and loyal. It is sad, but, some people are just emotionally bankrupt and incapable of giving and receiving love. I hope that this is not the case, and, that you will someday find someone to love, with the depth of love your wife exhibited for you.
Good luck and God Bless!
2007-02-28 11:45:16 · answer #2 · answered by Pastor Jeff 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
After reading the information that I've read about you, yes you are wrong to mislead her. How can you not love someone, nor have feelings for her when you knew perfectley well that you weren't happy being with her? How dare you use her for sex!! Shame on you!! Do you expect someone to give you a pat on the back for misleading your wife for so long?? I don't think so!!! What goes around, comes around so I strongly suggest that you be careful by the way you treat females the next time you decide to go out there and start dating again. You are extremely wrong for using her like that. Imagine how she would feel if you told her that while she was still alive.
2007-02-28 11:11:36 · answer #3 · answered by Lady S 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What a sad, pathetic story.
I can't beleive you wasted so much of your life living a lie.
She died thinking you loved her -- but you get to live with the knowledge that you have completely ruined any chance of happiness for yourself.
Seems to me that she got the better end of the deal in the long run -- at least she thought you actually loved her. You-- you're just left an empty shell of a man with no heart and no chance at redemption.
sad, sad, sad
2007-03-07 22:15:36 · answer #4 · answered by kelannde 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you want someone to pat you on the back and tell you that you are a great person for using a woman for sex and not feeling badly at her passing? Sorry, I am unable to do that for you. Sounds like you are a very cold man. Hope someone returns the favor to you some day.
2007-02-28 10:39:08 · answer #5 · answered by navy wife 1996 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
What goes around comes around. You will get yours. You may have kept her from finding a real man that loved her by telling her that big fat lie for all them years. She may have had kids and a great life with someone that is a good person. If I was her I would come back a haunt you.
2007-02-28 10:55:23 · answer #6 · answered by irishlady 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you are why most women, have trust issues, with men. Guys like you, are why, most women miss out on the great men, because we don't trust, or it takes awhile to trust. I hope this plays on your mind for the rest of your life. I also hope you never do this again, just remember what goes around comes around, if i were you i be prepared....for heartbreak.
2007-03-08 08:36:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This prose doesn't appear to have been written by an adult unless they are impaired in some way. It is severly lacking n structure and proper grammar. It looks like a juvenile's attempt to cultivate some personal pleausre by reading responses to a ficticious situation. Get a grip, please
2007-02-28 10:45:13 · answer #8 · answered by Master Ang Gi Guong 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure you did not love her . You wasted all this years of your life to make her happy . You didn't cheat on her ,you didn't mistreat her. you could have cheated' treated her like crap but, you didn't . You treated her like a queen! I think you are afraid of the pain........... because it would be easier to lose someone you were not emotionally attached to. I think the you feel is un-health.
2007-03-07 11:27:57 · answer #9 · answered by sandy.d 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
In older couples marriages I see alot of respect and that was what kept them together. You had a very loving wonderful wife its just to bad that you couldn't love her as she love you.
I just wondered was this an arranged marriage?
2007-03-08 02:17:14 · answer #10 · answered by lovie12346 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋