Was I wrong to misled her?

Question

I am 54 years old and my wife died when she was 51 years old. She loved me so much. I did not have any feelings for her. We have been together for at least 30+ years. I never had children with her but I did started having sex with her since I was 28 years old. She died from an accident. I didn't kill her. I told her "I love you" countless times. My feelings for her weren't that deep. If I left her, I wouldn't have anymore sex and she'd be heartbroken and I would start paying for child support if she did got pregnant. I never fell in love with her. If I did fell in love with her, I know I would be very sad right now, but good thing I didn't fell in love with her. I can imagine myself leaving her and not being sad. I don't feel bad at all for her death. I had to pretend to be crying on her funeral to let her family think that I was sad. To be honest, I am not sad. Before she died, she said, "I am very happy to have met you in my life." When she was alive, I treated her like a queen.

I did not have any feelings for her. I was only using her for sex. I treated her like a queen so she can have sex with me. not that I love her or anything. I got married with her so she can be happy, not me loving her. I don't even have any feelings for her nor like her.

I am very loyal to her and didn't cheat on her once while she was alive.

Answer 1

You're 54, you were with her for 30+ yrs., but you didn't start having sex with er until you were 28? Were you friends for 4 yrs. and then got married at 28?

I think you need serious therapy. Pick up the phone and start calling therapists now instead of hanging out in Yahoo Answers. You may have sociopathic tendencies or be bipolar. It's probably a really good thing that you didn't reproduce. At least she died happy, thinking that you did love her - that's what really counts.

Maybe she'll sense all of this after her death, though, and come back and haunt your lying @$$. I doubt if she'll feel it's worth her time and energy, though.

Answer 2

You didn't misled her. You are a true husband to her. You may think you have no feelings for her but actually you really do love her. If not, you would not have done all those things for her and stayed with her for so many years. Love is not a feeling, it is the unlimited patience, loyalty and tolerance for a person. You do not feel sad because of two possibilities- you know she has gone to a better place or you do not fully realise that she's gone already. Since you treat her really well and did not cheat on her, she is still very lucky she can marry the person she loves and so you're not wrong in any way.

Answer 3

I think the thing you are trying to hide is that you did love your wife. Over and over again you say how you never loved her.
I think you did and I think you know this.
Maybe the pain of her death is too much for you to take at the moment. And saying you don't care that she has died is denial in its self
You don't stay with some-one all that time and as you say treat her like a queen and have no feelings for them at all

Answer 4

I'm not saying this because I'm a woman, but I think you've been a very selfish person behind the mask that she saw every day. I feel sorry for her because even when she died, she thought you loved her. I think you're a heartless person and what nerve you have to even try to shed crocodile tears to gain sympathy from people around you. What a two face you are! Shame on you! I hope you will die a lonely man with no grave for you to rest in peace.

Answer 5

Yeah, you have been incorrect. i assume your question is grow to be it incorrect which you certainly lied to her for 30 some atypical years? Yeah, it grow to be. you probable could've enable her bypass and allowed her to discover somebody who fairly cared for her. Hindsight is 20/20 so there's no longer something you're able to do approximately that. it extremely is kinda unwell which you saved that lie up for 30+ years so why are you so in touch now? She's long previous and you're loose to sleep with different persons. You have been greater in touch in money than this female's thoughts and you fairly did no longer care so there's no reason to start pretending to care now. you will have dealt with her nicely yet your intentions weren't real and that's terrible. you may probable discover ways to easily bypass away human beings on my own ordinarily. no person desires for use and no person likes it. Karma is a humorous ingredient. quicker or later, you will come back what you place out. I definitely can not have self assurance you published this. it extremely is fantastically sickening which you faked cried on the female's funeral. the sorrowful section is, you probable did love her on your man or woman egotisical way yet you will by no potential admit it. i'm happy to pay attention you probably did no longer kill her. i'm additionally happy this female is optimistically resting in peace and isn't any longer being lied to anymore. i've got self assurance sorry for her, no longer you. you like some severe thearpy and persons skills. human beings are not on the planet to serve you. At fifty 4, you will think of you will comprehend that by now. Oh nicely, i think being silly has no shrink off factor.

Answer 6

I don't believe a word you wrote. Even if you have a pet dog you do develop love for that dog. Also if you did not love her then you would not feel guilty about misleading her.

You are HUMAN, why are you afraid to allow yourself to love? If what you wrote is true then I feel sad for you. You missed out on life, as to love and be loved is the most precious thing in life.

Answer 7

Forget the movies. You dont know the meaning of love. Its not something you feel like a headache or anything. How could you have lived with your wife for 30+ years, enjoyed sex with her, be kind and considerate to her, be faithful to her, treat her like a queen etc. and claim you did not love her. I think you rather mistake that ou did not feel sorry for her to mean you never loved her.
The opposite of love is hate, detest. If you dont love someone, you cant stand them for 30+yrs except you are some machine.

I say love beyond the sexual expressions of youth is a choice to care for, to live with, to respect, to have sex with, to protect, to keep, tp adore like a queen etc. until death do you part. I say yu have loved her and she knows it.

Answer 8

I think there are different kinds of love depending on each individual. You can't help your feelings and you can't make yourself love anybody or make someone love you. It sounds like you did the best you could and what was appropriate for you at the time. You treated her well and you can't help it how you feel. don't beat up on yourself. Also on another note, you may be denying your feelings, telling yourself you didn't love her and that way you don't have to feel bad that she is gone.
Hope this is some help.

Answer 9

Well it seems like you made her happy for 30 years and now your left to be alone. I hope no one does that you. Good luck with the rest of your life. I know you have heard the saying what goes around comes around...so don't get your hopes up on finding that one you will fall deep in love with...

Answer 10

First let me say I think your full of s***. If it was all about the role around in the sack you wouldn't have married her at least I don't think you would have anyway because you can get some with out getting married. I think your a phony liar who probably should have died instead or your just in denial. I think its a combination of both ( So yes your wrong )