How can I raise my self-esteem if therapy is not an option?

Question

I've never really liked myself all that much, or felt like I'm really worth the time and resources it takes to keep me alive. I've never seriously contemplated suicide but sometime's it's seemed like the only logical option. Comparing what it takes to keep me alive to what I'm giving back, I'm not doing much good to anyone.

In general, I always feel stupid, and I'm getting really paranoid about everyone around me. Every day I have this nagging feeling that they're going to realize I'm not worth their time and abandon me.

I also have a bad relationship with my bipolar twin sister. We share a small room, and I have no personal space. She's unstoppably nasty to me 24/7.

I've tried finding an outlet, but I have no talent for anything. I can't write, I'm a terrible musician, I can't draw, I can't dance. All I do is play video games, and I even suck at that. I'm not good at letting my emotions out, and I don't want to. It's pointless, and it would only waste more time and resources.

I also have debilitating hyperactivity, which means I can't sit still, focus, think about anything, sleep, or do anything useful.

It also means I'm a complete dumbass since I can't focus on studying anything.

Right now I'm trying to figure out what is causing the hyperactivity. It's not my thyroid or adrenal glands. I'm going to a neurologist sometime soon. Physical activity makes it worse and I have a very low tolerance for sugar.

Therapy is not an option mostly for financial reasons but also because I don't want to make myself more pathetic by having to pay someone ridiculous amounts of money so I can whine about my feelings to them.

And to top it all off, I'm 14. 15 in two months.

Answer 1

Think positive.

As soon as you start giving yourself more credit and thinking with a smile, you will notice that good energies will surround you and good things will start to happen.

You must change old, bad habits to make room for the new you though!

Answer 2

You are more than you think you are, that is your greatest asset to reap the rewards from. Being so young still it is difficult to embrace the world around you without some fear, anxiety or even a little paranoia--your only 15 give yourself some time. Growing up is a very complex task that sometimes takes the entire lifetime; I am 40 and still not fully the adult I should be, or at least what others expect of me. But I don't sweat it so much like I used to.

Without even realizing how far you have come, re-read what you asked to be read by complete strangers. You have opened up yourself to be taught, loved, guided and embraced by some very unique routes of personal transformation.

To raise your self-esteem takes a combination of things, learned along the road of life. It is not just a simple 'pill' or 'task' you can do everyday to boost that which is nurtured from the inside instead of influenced on the outside. Try learning about meditation and discover ways to ground yourself in positive thought, the rest follows naturally. I bet you are special just because of the innocence of your question and that my friend will glide you across so many obastacles you'll feel like a super-woman, someday... but give it time as rushing into adulthood only leaves you wondering what you missed during adolescence and young adult-hood.

I hope I have helped and I am here whenever you want to just talk. Find me at my 360 page and I will add you and keep in touch.

gentle hugs young lady and know you have a new friend in Ohio !

Erica

Answer 3

For raising your self-esteem? I learned this in the hospital and it sounds so cheesy! When I heard this, I was 15 years old and could not believe that someone with a college degree would actually expect an intellegent person to do this, but I tried it and it actually worked. When you are completely alone, look into the mirror and find one cute thing about you. Believe me it is not going to be easy, but just something that is not horriable to look at. Mine was my nose. At first it was like, my nose is the last part of my body that I would get plastic surgury on. Then it became well I guess my nose is almost normal looking. Then it turned into I actually have a kinda sorta cute nose. Then I went on to the next body part and so on. Then you have to start doing that to your personality. I started with my looks first because you can actually see your looks, where as personality can change day to day. After I did that for a while I started to feel better abour myself and it raised my self-esteem alot. I also started taking a day out the week to dress to impress. I would get up extra early put on my nicest clothes and makeup and feel good about myself.
As for finding an outlet? I have no talents what-so-ever. I started to do yoga. Any one can do it, and it makes your whole body feel better. It is great for everyone, and besides an emotional outlet, it is also excerise which realises endorines in the brain, which make you happy.

Answer 4

I'm sorry you are having such a tough time. You can get through it if you really work at it...As far as your sister and you..write down at least 5 things you like and appreciate about her, theres got to be something there...and write down or voice out loud when you wake each day that you are awesome and beautiful and be grateful for something,
it may sound cheesy but really the positive energy you will be setting will change your life and thinking negative always,,it only draws negativity towards you. Think about and say what you WANT, not what you don't want. Best Wishes to you. =)

Answer 5

Crummy thinking is a horrible habit isn't it? But that's what it is....a habit. Whatever we practice, we get pretty-darn-good at. Look into quotes from the greatest humanists; Einstein, Plato, Socrates, Jesus, Buddha, anyone that is into philosophy and psychology. Man kind has fought this stuff forever. I wasted a good part of my life dwelling on the negative. But the search for truth has given me a new lease. Now everyone and everything (including myself) are my teachers. Be thankful that you're not arrogant because those people will never seek, never better themselves, never learn.

Answer 6

If your sister is bipolar, you probably are too. From what I've heard about this, this is where the feelings come from! You need to go to a doctor and get on the drugs that they give for that. People can lead reasonably normal lives with medication. (Tell mom to get it for sis too).