Should I wait, or should I go?

Question

My bf and I have been together for almost 6yrs now. I love him very much and I know he loves me. We've talked about marriage, but I brought it up the other day and he said that he didn't know, that he's still young. But shouldn't he know something by now I mean 6yrs together, living together, I'm willing to wait, but part of me is wondering if I should. go on with my life, but I don't want to lose him. I also know that he's going through a lot him self. So what do y'all think I should do. I love him wiwth all my heart. Help me.

Answer 1

In 6 years he should know if he wants to marry you or not. But why buy the cow when you can get all the milk you want for free.

Answer 2

One time I had asked my grandfather, "how can a girl tell if a guy really loves her", his reply was, "when there is no, if's, buts, or maybes" Your boyfriend has no incentive to marry you, he already is receiving all the benefits without the commitment, so why should he? Living with someone is rewarding in many ways, you get financial help, sex, companionship, and no commitment. In other words, if things don't work out, you just can pick up and leave. In marriage there is a commitment and not so easy just to pick up and leave. You settled for the latter of the two.

Answer 3

It sounds to me like he's trying to figure out if he still wants the relationship. I would be questioning if he still loved me the way he used to, and right now it doesn't look too good. You're right to think he should know by now. If he's loved you enough to stay with you for six yrs. then he should know if he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. They tend to say things like "what does a piece of paper change" or " I'm just afraid that that will mess the whole relationship up"! Well sorry Sweety, but, that's a sure sign that he is having doubts. sorry if you didn't want to hear that.

Answer 4

If you love him, and I mean TRULY love him, then drop the marriage talk until he is ready. When that happens, he'll propose. But the more you talk about it, or bring it up, the more you'll just be pushing him away. If you want to stick it out until he finally proposes, then do so. If you don't want to lose him, then just be happy with the way things are. Marriage is for life, so maybe he just needs time to adjust to that final thought.

Answer 5

If he is going through a hard time right now it might be better to wait anyway. He probably needs some time to deal with whatever he is going through. If you truly love him then you would stick by him through thick and thin. If you push him into marriage he might start resenting you later because he feel like he was almost forced into it. I would say let things flow and wait for him.

Answer 6

I just went through the same thing with my girlfriend. We've been together for 6 years and she told me if i didnt propose to her by a certain date she would leave me. Well i didnt do when SHE wanted to and she left me. I think i've been pretty committed to being with her for 6 years but when she buys a house she cant put me on it. I would wait it out. Hell for all you know he might have something planned like i did.

Answer 7

i dont even think most marriages last 6 years, so im not sure what else youre looking for.. i know you want the ring and the symbolic commitment that comes with it, but come on sista... i think he's committed.. he probably just doesnt need any more pressure right now.. as you said, he's going through stuff.. now's the time to focus on him, and if youre not able to do that then maybe you should move on, for both urself and him.. and im not saying that your relationship should be you focusing on him, but id like to think that a marriage would be a relationship in which people support one another and dont simply worry about their own needs.. hmmmmmm.. maybe that's what he's thinking?/

Answer 8

Well, even after 6 yrs - one can be uncertain, I'd rather wait then go into it just to have it not work. Be patient honey, if you love this person, it will be worth the wait. Never rush someone into doing something they are not ready for. I've been here on earth long enough to learn this myself - the hard way. Best of luck to you!

Answer 9

You need to leave now, split, dump him, you've been a cow he's getting free milk from. You've been used for six years. He's not dumb, why buy hamburgers, when the girl at the fast food place is giving them away for free. Wait until a woman come along giving away steak when your older and more wrinkled, he'll leave you like a rat leaving a sinking ship. There's a better guy out there for you, he knows you have a depency on him so he wipes his feet on you by not committing.

Answer 10

If it's feasible, sign up for a class you can take together like marriage & family or something else for couples. I took a college sociology class and my new boyfriend surprised me by showing up as well....I wound up marrying the guy years later and think the course helped make our relationship strong. I was only interested in getting the college credit for my major at that point in time, but it did lead to some interesting discussions. Years later we talked about the professor named 'Sneller' who was divorced and talked constantly in his lectures about his ex-wife. It gave us something to laugh about and to bond over. Don't push on the committment thing. It takes time for each partner to wrap their mind around the concept. It may be a good thing that he's cautious. So if he sees you in his future, give it time. You don't want to convince or persuade someone that marriage is for them.

Answer 11

Perhaps it's just the word 'marriage' that scares him. Maybe if you take a break, it may make him realize that he wants you for life. If you feel it's worth the gamble, take it. If not, then dont. Ultimately YOU are the one to make that decision. Since it's evident he isnt able to.