all the taking.I give her oral without hesitation.But she won't even touch my manhod.I want to to know how to gently guide my wife to love my manhod the same way I adore her vagena.
2007-02-28 01:11:48 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, as I always tell everybody, communication is the key to a good relation.
Of course, when you are really in love, you give anything you can to your lover without asking anything in return, you do as many sacrifices as you can, and you are just happy to make your lover happy.
But in the real world, even when you don’t expect anything in return, you do appreciate if your lover at least gives it a try.
I would suggest to talk to your wife, a nice talk, no fight, not getting mad, nothing like that. It has to be when you two are alone, in private, and relaxed. You don’t have to find an excuse to start the conversation. On the contrary, you have to tell her you have something to discuss with her about the two of you. Just be nice when you tell her, and don’t get her scared.
You just need to explain to her that you don’t expect for her to do everything you like, but that you want to know why she doesn’t ever gives you some oral, (or whatever else you would like her to do). See what she tells you, if she is shy, assure her is ok to tell you, that’s why you two are married, to share the good and the bad.
If there is a good explanation, and you think is not good to ask again, then drop it, tell her you didn’t know it (which should be true) and that you are sorry, and that you will not ask her again because you respect her more than anything else.
Now, if there is not really a valid excuse (like “is gross” or “is dirty”), then you can ask her to give it a try. Just try to fix whatever she told you, like if is “dirty” tell her “lets go on the shower, and you can give it a good hand wash”, then you can give it a little try.
Never force her, just suggest. And even if she says no, still, when you two make love, make sure to keep on giving her everything you got. Now that she knows what you want and like, I bet you she will at least give some things a try, and you never know, she mike like it ;)
And don’t forget to also ask her what she would like for you to do that you might have never done. You could be surprised of her answer(s). We guys think we know everything about sex with a woman… but we don’t. We actually have no clue. Is together that we learn from each other how to be the perfect lover… and it takes lots of practice. The good thing: we all love to practice!!
Good luck. And have lots of fun “practicing”.
2007-02-28 01:40:38 · answer #1 · answered by Dan D 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't guide her to or make her love your 'manhood'. For many women this is just plain uncomfortable - not only physically (why don't you try giving a man head and see how it is on your mouth, jaw, neck, and back!) but also from a moral/emotional aspect (it feels demeaning and gross). Are you trying to force or push her head in that direction every time she gets close to it? That is a big turn-off for women.
I hate doing that particular 'job' - I'd rather scrub toilets, personally. I will do it on occasion for my partner as a special 'treat' but that's it. And I can't 'go the distance' - my jaw and neck can't take it. I have found ways to make it a bit more pleasant - flavored condoms help me get past the whole putting that thing in my mouth issue plus I don't have to worry about the ... er - 'end result'.
Most men are way more into oral than women will ever be (there are a few exceptions out there, though, but most of the women that are that into giving it aren't exactly someone you would take home to meet the parents). After children it gets worse - the 'mom' factor kicks in and makes it feel even more wrong. Don't know why that is but it's hard to get past. Maybe 'cause you kiss baby with that mouth, too?
Perhaps work with her on working it with lotion and her hand? Or try the flavored condoms - that may make it more tolerable for her. Or just love her for who she is - if you get that much joy out of giving her oral keep doing it. If not - don't. Don't just do it to try to make her reciprocate.
Actually, I just read Dan's answer - it's just about perfect. Do you have a brother that's as sensitive as you are Dan? lol. (Just kidding - I'm happy with the man I've got). It's always refreshing to see an answer like yours and to know there are a few decent men still out there.
2007-02-28 09:46:36 · answer #2 · answered by greyrider 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ALOT of women are squeamish about performing oral.
Maybe she has never done it before, and does not know how.
Maybe she has had a bad experience with it before.
Talk to her about it. You could start with discussing various fantasies that each of you have. Bring it up then.
Take a shower IMMEDIATELY before making love. Maybe the two of you could share one. Cleanliness IS a big part of this issue with alot of women.
Buy some flavored lotions and oils......or get some flavored condoms.
Get a book on EROTIC massage and look at it together. While it won't touch on oral, there are a few sections on handjobs.
DONT bargain with her, get pushy or angry because she wont. Oral is something that you have to feel comfortable GIVING. If you push and she relents just to get you to hush, would you really feel good about that after it was over?
Come to terms with the fact that she may NEVER change.
Good luck, and remember to be sensitive. You sound like a really nice guy.
2007-02-28 09:32:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that you promise not to "finish" in her mouth.
And make sure you are spotlessly clean.
No one ever talks about how some men have a very strong odor down there.
I can't see why she wouldn't be willing if these items were part of the deal.
2007-02-28 10:05:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My friend i have the same problem and by talking to my wife i find out 4 year into are marriage that my wife hate doing that. now in my 9 year and one 1 son later i still do not get it i am also dealing with her low sex drive. and if i were you just deal with it your wife will make you happy in other ways. in my case she is my best friend and sole-mate. there is more then just BJ in a relationship. Good luck if you do get her to do that to you.
2007-02-28 09:25:06 · answer #5 · answered by celticdragon 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
She may not really be aware this problem is bother you so much. Talk to her about it. If the problem is that she doesn't like doing it, try to come to an agreement (such as I'll do it to you if you do it to me, or sometimes housework works better, I'll do the dishes if you give me head). But at least bring it up to her, she may not know you want it so bad.
2007-02-28 09:21:39 · answer #6 · answered by ...Melissa... 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop giving her oral.
2007-02-28 09:15:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
so shes not the most wonderful woman in the world , coz have problem , OK?
2007-02-28 09:32:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like someone doesn't love you enough to want to please you.
You can't MAKE her do anything.
Why do you think she is so wonderful when she will not please you? Does she make good money??
2007-02-28 09:16:07 · answer #9 · answered by Ker Plunk 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋