my freind is failing. Should i tell someone?

Question

I have a friend at my schol wich is a gramar school. Me and the rest of my friends do quite well but she's always ben the worst. We know shes not as good as us and we dont care cos shes our friend but this year shes been getting much worse.

She does realy bad at most tests nd things that are given a grade. She never likes to tell us her grade and she probably realises that she isnt very good and is probably getting tired of it.

She never does her HW and always drags us up to the IT room to do it at school in our lunch break or just copies us. we are getting slightly fed up with her now but know shes finding it difficult.

My question is because she isnt just failing but she depresses herself by comparing her grades to ours and she usually cries when she gets a bad mark. How can we help her?
There is a help secton at school. Should we ask them or a teacher and tel them shes finding it hard? or should we just leave her?
no horrible comments please.

i dont think its dixlexia as it is a grammar school but im still not sure if seeing the scool counselor is a good idea. It would help her but its almost like snitching on her. I m so confused!!
Im even getting annoyed with her for copping so much.

Another thing is she makes up these stupid lies like: i havent done well cos my files on my computer have been deleted and i had to quickly do it. Which is so obviously untrue.... Im sad now...

what would you do in this situation?

seriously, we know shes not dislexic. If theres anything she can do its read!

I feel terrible for writting about this

Answer 1

Tell her that you aren't going to give her the answers anymore. You are going to start tutoring her after school instead. There is no learning in copying off others.


Good Luck!

Answer 2

You need to have a talk to her. Try to get her on her own, and not in the school environment if possible. Don't accuse her of being a failure - just ask her what it is that she's finding difficult. She may be afraid of admitting that she's struggling, especially as you all seem to be doing so well. You've also got to tell her that you and your friends can no longer allow her to copy your work, or give her extra help to get her through tests and suchlike. Once she realises that you have noticed she is struggling, it may prompt her to go and seek advice from her tutor, or the help sector within the school. It will also highlight to her tutors that there is a problem if she's no longer copying your work and her grades are bad - which may also prompt them to try and help her. There could be an underlying problem, such as home or relationships - but you won't know unless you give her the opportunity to tell you. If after a chat to her things don't improve, then you should talk to your teacher - as in the long term it may affect your studies as well. Good luck.

Answer 3

Well what a caring friend you are! Nice to see.

In the long run you are not helping her by letting her copy your homework. You need to tell her that she must go and talk to a teacher.........she's not dyslexic is she? People sometimes hide the fact that they have a problem.

Why not have a one on one chat with her? Be honest and tell her
that all though you all still love her and are here to help her, she needs to start doing her homework on her own......also really big up the things she is great at.....

hopes this helps a little bit

ADDITION
Sweety just because you are at a grammar school doesn't mean that you can't be dyslexic.....some of the brightest people in the world are dyslexic........it just means that your brain has a problem deciphering the letters.......

Answer 4

I would go to your help section at school and let them know she's depressed with her work at school. I would not tell them she's copying off your homework, but let them know your concerned. Being her friend is the best thing you can do for her right now. Maybe suggest an after school study group with all of your mutual friends to help get her confidence up? Don't make it about her, tell her your all getting together for a study group and want her to attend. Surely her teachers are aware of her work and have spoken with her parents. Stick with her, she sounds like she needs the friendships badly. If your not comfortable letting her copy off of you then tell her this, but nicely. Offer to help her study for upcoming tests too. At some point she has to do the work herself. But depression is probably a big part of her problem, it eats away at her self confidence. Boost her up as much as possible and seek help for her.

Answer 5

Well maybe if you both study/ Revise with her, dont let her copy but help find ways of remembering the whats in eachunit and what she needs to know. I'm not in School im in college but im the same i dont cheat but i really do struggle but that doesn't mean i have less of an ability as the rest of my group. I am just a slower learner and find it harder to remember. But i have studied hard the past year and caught up with the rest of the group cus everyone showed mw they have confidence in me and helped me in anyway possible. Maybe she just needs the same things i needed. to help boost my confidence.

As she hasn't been doing very well maybe her confidence and self esteem is low that can affect her in this way. I bet she has the ability to be like the rest of you but just needs a confidence boost and a little help fromher friends, to get where she needs to be.

Just to let you know tho Dyslexic people can read as i am dyslexic and i just find it harder to remember thing i learn etc and i have an over average reading age. So you cant rule that out get her to take a test the following is in a dyslexia test.
- Reading Skills/ Accuracy.
- Writing/ Spelling Skills.
- Copy Writing speed/ Style.
- Verbal Ability. (Reading and Comprihention)
- Verbal Skills. (Word Recognition).
- Speed of Processing.

Good luck.......

Answer 6

Heya, your not helping your friend by letting her copy you. She wont learn the work that way. Maybe if one of your group spoke to a teacher and asked her to arrange some sessions where you could all go along to do your homework or have a tutorial and that way she isnt made to feel embarrassed. I myself work in a high school and i feel that the best way you can deal with this is to tell somebody in confidence. I hope you work out what to do!! good luck!

Answer 7

Absolutely tell someone at school. Choose a kind teacher who will be sympathetic and tell them your concern about your friend.
Your friend will probably be upset with you, but you will be doing the right thing.
She might have problems that nobody is aware of. She may even have dyslexia and is trying to hide it. She may get angry and refuse any kind of help. Or she might just not like school or schoolwork - in which case it's her choice and nobody can force her to change.
But if you tell someone and it results in her doing better at school, it could be the best favour anyone does for her in her life. Good luck.

Answer 8

Your friend might be having trouble at home, or might even have some learning disorder like dyslexia that hasn't been diagnosed.

I would go to the teacher or the counselor, tell them just what you wrote, and ask for them not to tell her you talked to them. Doing her work for her doesn't teach her anything, and it will just lead you guys to not want to be friends with her anymore.

Go to an adult you trust and talk with them. They can help.

Answer 9

For starters, quit letting her copy off your homework.
Tell her to start focussing in her HW, so she can at least understand the subject.
If she is failing badly you really should tell somebody about it.
You're being a good friend by getting her help and she gets good help so she doesn't get depressed whenever she gets her grades.
Good luck.

Answer 10

I don't know about your school, but most schools have a counselor that you could talk to, and tell them that you're worried about your friend.
They are very good with things like that.
Also try talking to a good teacher that you're comfortable with.

You are her friend, as as a friend it's your job to look out for her when she needs help, even if she doesn't ask for it. It's nice of you to notice and consider helping her, she's a lucky girl to have friends like you.