is it true that your life really does change when you have children. myself and my partner are 27 but still enjoy going out with our friends a few times a week. Thing is i always think everything would change for me if we where to have children such the getting fat not being able to go out when i want. And the same applies when the baby is born he could just carry on as normal still seeing his friedns as and when he wants. my boyfriend says if we where to have a baby then things would change and he would be different but would he????
2007-02-27 23:34:52 · 21 answers · asked by Pebbles 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No way of knowing. It's one of those things that until you try it, you don't know how you or your partner will change or cope.
2007-02-27 23:38:15 · answer #1 · answered by cuddles_gb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah he would be differenent and so would u.. some for the good , some for the bad.. having children is a huge responsibility, and untill ur actually in that situation u cant fully understand how life altering it can be.. it seems simple but its not..
You wont be going out partying 3 times a week, because u will have to tend to a baby that needs u 24/7.. and children cost alot of money, so u wont have the extra money to do things that ur doing now.. u will both be exhausted, because a baby wakes up through out the night, and guess what.. as much as men SAY that they will help 50/50 , they dont.. it usually lands on the wife to be the one to feed, change, and wake up with the baby, im not saying he wont help, he probably will.. but u will have to flip most of the duties.., not to mention when the baby is sick, and up most of the night or having to rush a sick baby to the ER in the middle of the night..all the medical bills, dental bills.. and THATS ONLY IF U HAVE A HEALTHY BABY.. because if u have a special needs baby.. forget it.. the medical bills are astronomical.. forget working cause u'll be at the doctors constantly to where u cant keep a job.. so then money becomes even tighter.. and u cant say that wont happen to u.. cause it happens to people all the time.. It happened to me.. and guess what.. do u think my husband stuck around to "share" in the responsibility of having a chronically/terminally ill child..?? Nope he left and went on to find a new life.. and left me with all the responsibilities.. and my sons condition was simply just a fluke birth defect.. Now on the other hand.. children are an extreme blessing, they light up ur life like nothing uve ever known.. and they give u strength that u never realized exsisted inside of yourself.. there is a special bond that happens when two people in love concieve a child.. and theres no greater gift in this world then a child..
Children can bring out the best in people , as for some, they mature very quickly into responsible adults once a child is in the picture.. because now they have to become "parents".. but for others, it doesnt matter if they have a child because they are immature and treat children like a pet they can just get rid of when things get hard.. I have 3 children, and i wouldnt give them up for the world.. they are my life..and they've saved me from myself more times then they realize, because i had to grow up and be a parent..and i hate the thought of where id be if they werent in my life.. because they are the only reason, i breath every day..
But its not easy.. its a full time job, with out vacations.. their needs come before yours.. and there are days that u wonder where "your" life went because its now about your childrens needs and wants and not your own.. so if ur not willing to give up what u need, and want right now, then u should wait untill ur ready to deal with sacraficing ur life for a child before u have one..
2007-02-28 08:25:48 · answer #2 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you two have any friends who have a baby? If so, offer the parents a kid free weekend and take the baby. BOTH of you put in 100% in to it(no going out because the other is watching the kid) and then ask the same question Sunday night. And yes it's VERY TRUE that your life changes. How could it not?
2007-02-28 07:41:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes. everything totally changes once people have children. their time is no longer their own to spend how they like. now the baby or children pretty much have first dibbs on that time. lack of privacy. total lack of privacy. 2 am feedings and diaper changes when the baby is still a baby. short attention span. you will not be able to go out when you want to. you have to think about arranging babysitting for your children if you want to get out. in most cases...the woman usually does most if not all of the work while the man still has freedom. the decision to have children has more weight for women than it does for me because we are the ones doing most of the work. your body will change, your emotions will change...there will be PAIN...but you are right. your time will no longer be your own. you will be doing most of the work. if this is not what you want then you need to make a decision to not travel down this path until you are ready. and doing what is necessary in preventing pregnancy (yes pregnancy is preventable with birth control...pills, iud, the patch, nova ring). don't just depend on condoms. YOU need to decide when YOU are ready. don't just let him make all the decisions. if you really want to see if this is something that you want then i would suggest for you to babysit a baby or toddler for a weekend just so that you can get a feel for what to expect if you do decide to have children. good luck. i do give you props for thinking about this though. most people do not and find out just how much work and sacrifice it does take...after the fact and after it's too late.
2007-02-28 09:03:44 · answer #4 · answered by cfalways 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
One can never really predict what will happen when we have children but life will definitely change for both of you because you'll both have the little one to think about.
As long as you remember to share the responsibility which I'm sure he's willing to do as he sounds quite keen, and as long as you look after yourself, eat sensibly and keep fit before during and after pregnancy there's no reason why you shouldn't snap back into shape and besides you can always get a babysitter in when you want to go out.
2007-03-03 17:54:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, in most cases. Sounds like he would want to be a responsible parent. Life does change drastically when you have a baby. The baby comes first ...always. Your priorities the kid,,then you. As for the whole getting fat part, that comes along with pregnancy, but you can lose it later on, most people do if they really want to and exercise. Doesnt sound like you are even close to being ready.
2007-02-28 07:44:35 · answer #6 · answered by mlock123 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your priorities change when you have kids. I have 2 and I can still occasionally get together with my friends, just not as much as I used to. Now it takes more effort and planning to go out, because you are going to need to make sure that the child is taken care of first. As soon as you have a child all the stuff you want to do be comes less important and you get less time to do what you want, but that's not a bad thing, just be sure you are ready for your freedom to be severely restricted.
2007-02-28 07:50:45 · answer #7 · answered by Kristal E 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not ready to have a child. I had a baby when I was 17 and it trurned my world upside down. Shes 2 1/2 now and I love her more than anything else in this world, but from the way you were talking up at the top, you have no idea what it takes to be a mom.
2007-02-28 07:41:10 · answer #8 · answered by moodymouse54 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh yeah, I have no children yet but my good friends that got pregnant used to hang out every weekend and have a good time and go to the bars, now we see them maybe 1 saturday out of the month if not every other month, of course children change your lifestyle, but for the better, you will want to spend more time with your child then with people at the bar.
2007-02-28 07:38:53 · answer #9 · answered by echc 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you have a child, you mature a WHOLE lot faster. And sounds like your boyfriend isnt willing to lay down his selfish and his own ways in order to start a family.
When you have a child, your whole mind and atmosphere changes because you now do things for your child, you now do things differently so your child can be raised in a good atmosphere.
2007-02-28 07:39:13 · answer #10 · answered by Encouragement 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
for the most part a child will change everything and the parents become devoted to the 'family', however if one or both of the parents are not sure about wanting a child, then it is probably best to wait
2007-02-28 07:46:26 · answer #11 · answered by sydneygal 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋