Decision to make?

Question

My boyfriend 32 and I 29 have been together for 8 months.We are very much in love.He really shows me his love and I have no complains.He has already told me a lot of times without proposing that we will get married and made me believe that he meant soon e.g (a year).But a week ago he told me that he has set a time limit to himself not to do anything(get married,live together e.t.c)for the next 1.5 year(which means that we may get married in 2.5 years) because he wants to pay off his car loan.His salary is 1600euros and his loan is 500.He is very careful with money. Should I trust that he will keep his word?He has promised other not really important things (like doing something)and sometimes didn't keep his promises or postponed things.That's what worries me and to tell you the truth I do not want to waste my time with someone who isn't worth it.I did that with my ex for 6 years and have been really hurt.How can I tell if he means what he says?Thank you in advance for your replies.

Because some of you got confused in greece we calculate salaries by month.My mistake I'm sorry.His monthly salary is 1600 and he pays each month 500 for his car.He needs 1.5 year to pay it off.He doesn't have the money to pay it off now.

Answer 1

Anastasia, Trust the main part of a relationship, if you feel you can't trust him completely listen to your gut feeling. Maybe he is telling the truth, but I have a niece who has been waiting almost 4 years for her boyfriend. He at first said he had to get his finances in order, well he has changed jobs 3 times since then, so I feel it had nothing to do with that. He is stalling but she still hangs on to the belief he will one day marry her. I as many have told her that two can live as cheap as one. Money is a real issue in marriage and shouldn't be taken lightly, but if you love someone enough a car loan shouldn't stand in the way. Now, only you really know this guy, so think about some of the things he has promised and not carried through with, if you honestly feel he is a keeper and you want to marry him someday then stand beside him, but if you feel he may be making excuses by all means think of the future and waiting for someone who will come back and say now I think we need to wait a few more years. It comes to what you want also. 8 months isn't that long to invest into someone, so would you want to wait longer just to find out he was playing you? With that said, now it is up to you to decide what you want with him and out of life, don't allow someone else to make that decision for you. He can say he loves you all day, but his actions is what counts.

Answer 2

Like the song(Elvis) The King sung tell him "IT"S NOW OR NEVER" better even play it over and over and give him the time limit or find some one willing. Good Luck to you this time i do hope you don't have to wait 2.5 years. Tell him it is 1.2!/2 years counting the eight months. So the waiting time should be no more then 61/2 more months give or take a week or two 50/50 on the deal. He can be careful with his money later on just as well and so can you. I hope you hear those wedding bells soon. If you need any help (don't hurt him) just get some people together with some whips and shotguns and white lighting to ease his pain. You could have so much fun at your wedding! I am glad you are very much in love.

Answer 3

a year and a half to pay off 500 Euros?? Hmmm...
So how long before he pays for the upcoming wedding..??
He really does not sound like he's deeply in love with you, and he likes procrastinating.
You've only been together 8 months, that's a very short time for a life commitment. You haven't been together long enough to really get to know each other well, and it sounds like he's not in a rush.
I personally would see the warning signs (procrastination, time limits, excuses, breaking promises) and look elsewhere.
But only you know the details, so look into your heart and head, try to see all the facts. ASK him why he cannot continue to pay off the loan whilst living with you if he were serious, tell him how all this makes you feel. See if you can work together towards a solution that makes you both happy.

Often we look for partners that have similar traits... Did you choose your ex's personality all over again?

Answer 4

Well this to me sounds fishy If he is careful with money then you can forget on having anything to do with it hes probally the kind of guy that wants control and if you do marry him I hope you are good with taking orders cause sounds like you will be getting them and Im sorry but love does not have a time period but all you can really do is pray and ask god for help but i do suggest you give this a try to see if he is for real. Tell him you want to start a home based business or something and for you to do so you have to put off marriage for 3.2 years and add the year in that you can get married and see his reaction and you pretty much have your answer by his reaction. Good luck and god bless.

Answer 5

Maybe you can try saying that you want to have an engagement party, to announce the date that you WILL set . This way you will be announcing to everyone that you will be getting married on a certain day in certain year. Tell him that it takes a very long time to plan for something like this and you also need time to do things as he does like pay off his loan. See what he says when you mention actually setting a date .

Answer 6

first of all be clear about ur marriage plans....nothins better than asking him about this...dont take the situation for granted atleast after what u've been thru. talk to him n confirm everything....coz u can never get into a man's brain to understand!! u r the best person to judge...express ur desire about settling down....he should realise that apart from money there are more important things which he might lose if he wastes time.....theres no need for him to waste a yr to pay the bills...he might as well get married and if u support him too, u both can pay off the loan...but wasting time just kike that isnt good...1.5 yr is a loooong time....what if he changes his mind?? be careful dear...ask him clearly n will know if the guy is worth waiting for...best of luck!! i'll pray for u...

Answer 7

You guys have only been together for 8 months so give him the benefit of the doubt and see if he wants to set a tentative date for the future. You may be a little apprehensive because of your former relationship but that could push him away. If he really loves you he will want to discuss this and set something for the future with you...good luck.

Answer 8

I understand that you would like to get married, it's normal. It sounds that he treats you well. The fact that he is talking about getting married says that he has serious plans and it's a very good sign. You are probably impatient because if your past experience, but don't let your past define your future. About keeping promises - you need to talk to him and explain that it is important to you to see him not "talk the talk, but walk the walk". Why would you want to get married with someone you can't rely on 100%? Good luck!

Answer 9

I don't see a problem with waiting it sounds pretty reasonable to me. I'm afraid though that if you don't think you can trust him, that is a bigger problem for you than whether to wait to get married. Trust is the biggest issue facing a couple and if you can't trust him, then you need to move on.

Answer 10

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