"Spare the rod, Spoil the child"?

Question

Which category do you fall into ?

i Never spank
ii Pro-spanking
iii Wish we had not spanked

Or do you hold a different view?

Extracts:

Time: Should Spanking be banned
http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1581853,00.html

ABCNews: Support for Spanking: Most Americans Think Corporal Punishment Is OK
http://abcnews.go.com/sections/us/DailyNews/spanking_poll021108.html

Discipline at Home: Spanking: Facts and Fiction
http://www.stophitting.com/disathome/factsAndFiction.php

Spanking Harms Children, Especially Girls
http://www.womensenews.org/article.cfm/dyn/aid/662/context/archive

To Spank or Not to Spank
http://www.elainegibson.net/parenting/spanking.html

Spanking: All points of views
http://www.religioustolerance.org/spanking.htm

Others: American Academy of Pediatrics discourages all corporal punishment.
An estimated ninety percent of parents have spanked, yet most of those parents are not pro-spanking.
While some parents advocate spanking and others shun it, most Americans fall somewhere in between.

U.II.XXVIII

ABRIDGED
Against spanking:
Squir.. – As above.
Tento.. – As above on legal grounds.
paul.. – Preached and practiced.

Advocates spanking:
Donal.. – Underlying general social bias against corporal punishment leads to discipline issues ; Practice discernment when meting out corporal punishment.
Ashle.. – Corporal punishment without physical scarring, backed with justification for said action.

Justi.. – Historically, spanking is a standard punishment. Scrutiny under the moral and ethical microscope is a recent development.
- Evidence shows that those who advocate and were spanked, proves contrary to contemporary ethical rationalization that spanking is indelicate and excessive.
- Spanking should be reserved for untenable offences and executed in a controlled manner. In practice, the rational adult acts in out of character, in anger.
- The axiom "spare the rod, spoil the child" applies to punishment in general:
The paradox of using force is unraveled when endeavours to preach against violence: “..violence is bad but on the other I'm going to hit you because you were bad.”
- Contemporary society requires less of their children to be held accountable for their actions. An underlying root cause are micro families, whose concern to guard their treasure than risk alienating this relationship is to be their child's friend.

sierr.. – “..spanking as a last resort..an open hand on the buttocks and/or thighs..not prolonged beating..example: daughter left the yard and wandered off with a man to help him 'find his kitten'..we arrived before he could do anything to our daughter..she had been warned time and again.. yet she still took off.. she got the spanking of her life and never left the yard without express permission.”

“..it worked..whereas talking had not..all occurred at a time when a notorious child killer abound..called the police.. taken in and he was a pervert..what is worse - spanking her and her never doing it again? or ?”

:: Spanking like violence, leaves an indelible mark on a person, physically, emotionally and in the memory core of the person. Each person’s pain tolerance and reasoning ability is different, hence spanking and reasoning with a child can be very subjective and is based on the parent’s ability to communicate and get the message across to their children.

There is no guarantee of one method being superior to the other. What is clear are the emotional scarring that leads to positive and negative effects based on the children’s upbringing. This in turn affects their outlook in later life.

Perhaps the child’s pain threshold of registering is higher or not so easily registered through reasoning or, without disrespect, parents were unable to get the child to reason out the consequences.

Certain consequences, spanking is preferable, whereas not all consequences need to be experienced to learn new lessons, such as pain and death.

Extracts not directly related on the subject below on self-esteem in later life.

Extracts:
Seligman's critique of self-esteem
http://www.centreforconfidence.co.uk/pp/index.php?p=c2lkPTYmdGlkPTAmaWQ9MTcw
Psychology Today
http://psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-20050502-000002.html

Answer 1

I think a little historical perspective is needed. Spanking has been a standard punishment going back who know how long and it's only in the last 20 years or so that we've been asking if it's ok to spank your kids. The vast majority of people who have ever lived grew up with spankings being an ever present threat and the vast majority of people who have ever lived turned out to be well adjusted adults despite receiving spankings as a kid. So to come along and suddenly say spanking is wrong and harmful kind of contradicts historical evidence.

That being said, I think most people would agree we should raise our kids to see violence of any kind as a last resort. If we are using spanking as a form of punishment, we are sending mixed messages. On the one hand violence is bad but on the other I'm going to hit you because you were bad.

I have spanked my kids and I do believe spanking has it's place. But I think it should be reserved for the very worst of offenses and should be done in a controlled manner after the fact rather than in the heat of the moment. I know there are many non-violent people who have taken spanking too far when they acted in anger. I have done it myself.

More to the point though, I think the "spare the rod, spoil the child" phrase applies to punishment in general. It seems like today's children are being held less accountable for their actions than in the past. And I think we see the consequences in society with the way kids and teenagers interact with people. I have managed a movie theatre for 10+ years and even in that time I can tell that teenagers are showing less respect toward others today than they did 10 years ago. You see it from the way kids will talk on their cell phones during the movie to the way they are rude to someone who hushes them to they way they are quick to start using profanity if they get in trouble.

Obviously the problem extends beyond the amount of punishment parents are doling out, but I do think parents today are more concerned with being their child's friend than they are with being a parent and setting rules and expecting them to be followed.

Answer 2

I think that it is alright to spank a child, but it is also important for the parent/teacher to explain to the child what they did wrong and why they are being punished for it. For example, when I misbehaved (as a child) my mother would tell me exactly what I had done wrong, why it was wrong and then I received a spanking or another form of punishment. My father never spanked me, he used to flick my hand with his finger in such a way that it hit a nerve and it was very sore, however it didn't do me any physical damage.
When I have children someday, I will spank them, but it won't be so hard that it would cause any physical harm - it would be more of a scare tactic than punishment.

Answer 3

spanking was always a last resort in our home. however as a last resort it was used. when i say spanking i mean with an open hand on the buttocks and/or thighs.....no where else and not with any kind of weapon. when you use your hand you can feel yourself how much pressure you are using. again, i say spanking not a prolonged beating.
example: our 7 year old daughter left the yard and wandered off with a man to help him 'find his kitten'. i just happened to look out the window and catch a glimpse of them rounding the corner of our street and screamed for hubby.
we chased them down, there was no missing cat, we arrived before he could do anything to our daughter.
she had been warned time and time again and yet she still took off. she got the spanking of her life and never again did she leave the yard without our express permission.
perhaps we shouldn't have, but, it worked, whereas talking had not. this all occurred at a time when a notorious child killer was stalking our streets so to find her gone was frightening and i admit the spanking occurred out of our fear and relief as much as anything else. to this day she remembers and has no ill feelings about it all.
the fellow wasn't who we were so afraid it was. i had called the police, he was taken in and he was a pervert.
so whats worse - spanking her and her never doing it again?
or ......................?????
i'll take spanking every time.

Answer 4

When my daughter was a toddler I spanked her.... To impress upon her her some things are not to be touched. Things that could hurt her. Like the stove or the iron, medication, cleaning solutions... Anything that could cause her harm was off limits.

I could never understand why so many children have been harmed by common house hole things. Parent needs to be aware, teach their children whats safe and what not.... If a spanking will put a little fear in their little hearts, that fine with me.

I'd rather have a child afraid to touch the stove, than to accidentally burn the house down.

Answer 5

I have two great daughters ages 28 and 31. I didn't spank them. I believe that spanking only makes a kid want to get even. I was a social worker for a number of years and I saw a lot of kids. Kids who misbehaved the most got spanked more than the others, so it does not seem to be a cure. The worst behaved kids on my case load were the ones who got really hit bad. It didn't change them, it didn't help them.

Answer 6

i never spank.
We live in a violent culture where the societal norms and mores encourage people to fight, be it physical or emotional abuse. Then we wonder why there are drive by shootings, school shootings, mass murders, any violent act against another person. We are raising our children to believe that violence is ok, I believe spanking is a violent act against a child. It is not discipline. Discipline involves love and patience. It entails teaching our children that there are consequences to every action. Spanking is aggression towards children, no love, no patience. Spanking is a parent losing control. This is not discipline. I have never spanked my two girls. My 13 year old is # 1 in her class, plays every sport and is very active in community and school activities. My 7 year old is following the same class. They are very respectful and know it is wrong to hit or strike out at another human in any form of abuse. Spanking is wrong!

Answer 7

I believe every child needs limits to what they can and cannot do and when they cross the line on the limits set for them there should be punishment. I am pro spanking (not beating) and all you have to do is look around you at the kids of today and you see the results of little or no discipline,and the kids tell the parents what they will and will not do.

Answer 8

there's a super distinction between spanking and abusing. The reformatory learn is skewed except in addition they ask the comparable style of on no account incarcerated human beings. you're able to say that ninety 5% of inmates have been raised on mom's milk. you positioned up regulations and rules on your toddlers. and that they'll consistently push to work out in basic terms how lots they are in a position to flee with. If the punishment is sitting in a nook or having Mommy confer with you, huge deal. If the punishment is composed of slightly a soreness, the youngster will think of two times approximately breaking the regulations next time. i think of you're able to probable do a learn and notice that ethical decay, violence in faculties, disruptive college room habit etc all grew to become an increasing undertaking after the mahogany became removed from the crucial's place of work.

Answer 9

I believe spankings are necessary some times, especially certain children only respnd to this....but in a controlled way, not out of anger, and not for every little thing. I was spanked as a child, not excessively, but for major offenses, and I am fine. People are lopsided. They do everything else to their kids, i.e, divorce, watch questionable movies in front of them, fight ,curse, neglect, underdiscipline, etc. But spanking is a problem.....please.
I bet my kids wont be killing me later in life.

Answer 10

our society has a problem with discipline especially when it comes to our children . I am pro spanking (not for everything but as judgment calls for it) and believe that not disciplining our children appropriately is leading to more and more children that are pulling off bull sh*t because they know nothings going to happen to them until they are adults. and yes spare the rod spoil the child