My daughter (Bee) is 14 y o and has been friends with a girl (Kay) since kindergarten. Recently they have become much closer than ever...however, Kay's mom now wants to seperate them because they talk too much in school and she is blaming Bee for her kid's poor grades - even in classes they don't attend together. I also had both girls beg me to talk to this woman because she has the misguided notion that our daughters forged my kid's permission slip for an end of the year trip and that her kid is paying for it and is now not allowing Kay to go on the trip, but she has never asked me about this. I see this woman a couple times a week at dance classes, should I approach her and tell her she's nuts? I have seen her be mean to her own child, but she is now affecting my kid. There is a lot more to this, these girls have been like sisters, we have included her in many of our family events and they have done the same, now she is cutting my kid out, even from Kay's b-day yesterday.
2007-02-27 21:24:11 · 7 answers · asked by Dianne R 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Obviously, I would not tell her she's nuts...was just venting for a moment. But I don't want to have her believe that either of our kids have done something illegal (forgery) and she's already telling other mom's that they have. I just want to clear up this issue with her and ask her to be more sensitive to my child - she asked two girls out to dinner for her daughter's b-day in front of my kid...her daughter's best friend. Frankly, if this is how things are going to be I don't want the girls to be so close, but to take my daughter out two weeks ago for another reason and to tease and laugh with us both on Saturday like nothing is wrong and then snub my girl on Tuesday is very hurtful and at 14 difficult to deal with, and frankly breaks my heart for my daughter.
2007-02-27 21:48:52 · update #1
I think talking to her and explaining that the girls havent been forging notes or paying for each other s excursions is a good idea. But you probably wont be able to get her to change her mind about sperating them. Just correct her and she may change her mind. But if she feels its best they dont hang out for a while then you have to respect her decision. I know its hard and hurtful for your daughter. But maybe in time she will see it isnt your daughters bad influence on her kid. And will be happy for them to continue their friendship.
Just talk to your daughter and suppourt her. But explain that she has to respect her friends Mums decision.
I always found that by respecting other peoples decsions they respect you more and come around more quickly. Its all a part of life and we have to deal with unfair situations sometimes.
Good Luck with it all and remember to not judge or try and enforce your feeling/thoughts on her. Just tell her the truth about the end of year trip. I'm sure the girls will still be friends they will just hide it from the other Mum.
2007-02-27 22:17:16 · answer #1 · answered by Monkey Magic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could probably approach the mother and talk to her about the problems that are arising in school. And maybe discuss with her that neither one of you all's kids are to blame. But all in all, she is going to believe what she is going to believe and you can't change that. Once me and my friends' mom got into a little bit of an issue and when my mom went to talk to her, they ended up getting in an argument. So then my mom came back home saying the same thing that her mom was saying, that we were a bad influence on each other. Anyway, that didn't stop me and my friend from hanging out, we just had to sneek around and do it, and wait for our moms to make up.
2007-02-28 06:04:06 · answer #2 · answered by Confused & Young 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"should I approach her and tell her she's nuts?" You don't have the right to tell this woman anything. SHE is raising her daughter and obviously doesn't want (or need) you to tell her how to do it. She wants the girls to be seperated...so be it. That's life. As a parent this mother has the right to do what she feels is necessary to get her daughter back on track whether you and your daughter like it or not. You might try calling her and seeing if you can work out another plan of action but you don't have the right to call her names. That's just plain childish anyway.
2007-02-28 05:31:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
i can understand why you are angery but to walk up and just call her nuts really wont get you very far
try inviting her out for coffee just the 2 of you and sit down and have a long talk with her about how you feel and then let her know how the girls feel
but yes i would talk to her about it
2007-02-28 05:32:03 · answer #4 · answered by debrasearch 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you and the other mother should have a lunchen together to air out the discussions. This is a neutral place where , hopefully, she won't make a scene. Get it out and let he girls figure out the rest. Their friendship will work it out.
2007-02-28 05:33:47 · answer #5 · answered by Sheila 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has it occurred to you that your daughter might actually not be the angel you think she is?
2007-02-28 06:17:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wouldn't approach her about anything about her daughter but about your daughter i would
2007-02-28 05:33:01 · answer #7 · answered by andrea.barrett36 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋