Thought vs. Action?

Question

My girlfriend recently made a comment which upset me. She claimed that thinking about something and not doing it was to be a hypocrite. She argued that if I was thinking about another girl or imagining kissing another girl that I was in fact cheating, and that it was just as good as doing the act. She used this to justify her actions when she actually did cheat on me with another guy. Obviously her arguement is flawed, but it does have some validity. Isn't what we think ,what we actually want to do? I'm looking for someone with some insight. Something controversial that I can toss back at her...I respect her opinion, she promised to never do it again. Is there a difference between what i think and what i do?

Answer 1

Of course there is a difference.

Thoughts and imagination are largely involuntary. Things come to mind that are not really our choice. Actions ARE voluntary.
What comes to a person's mind is motivated by fears, animal instincts, subconscious associations etc. What makes us HUMAN BEINGS is the fact that we CAN pick and choose which impulses are appropriate to follow through on, and which are not.

A person who is having a weight problem and THINKS about food is not a hypocrite because they make the conscious decision NOT to eat. A person who has a strong sex drive and fantasizes about various scenarios with various people is not a hypocrite because they choose to follow through with their desires with only one person when the timing is appropriate (rather than, say, in the grocery store!).

Our ability to make that decision is what separates us from animals. It is called "using judgement".

Hypocrisy is when one makes a statement of INTENT...implying that an action can/will be followed through....but when the time comes for action, they take the opposite course.

Technically, if she STATED that she INTENDED to be faithful to you, and then her ACTIONS were UNfaithful - she is a Hypocrite.

Answer 2

Thinking and doing are 2 different things. People have a millionabsurd/obscene things go through there mind a day. It's the ones you act on that make your character obvious to others.

To think of someone is not cheating...but close... Lust is lust and it gets in the way of relationships.

Your thoughts don't justify her actions. She thought you were cheating so she did to you what she thought you were doing to her. 2 wrongs don't make a right. There is no justification. If she thought that is the way it was, then why not break up with you first. It would have been the right thing to do.

Answer 3

There is definitely a difference between what you think and what you do. We all have times when we think about doing something that we would actually never do. For instance, people on the road drive me crazy and there are times that I feel like yelling at them or chasing them down to tell them what an idiot they are....but I would never actually do it. She is saying this to make herself feel better about what she did. What she did was think something and then act on it. She is in the wrong and trying to make you look bad so she will feel better about herself and her actions. Don't fall for that. Cheating was a choice she actively made and followed through with. Our minds are constantly bombarding us with different thoughts and feelings. It doesn't necessarily mean those are thing we would actually do or even want to do. I wish you luck in this relationship. Just be careful. She needs to accept responsibility for her actions instead of trying to make it about you.

Answer 4

Her line of thought is flawed. By her line of thought you could never get out of the supermarket. (or even into it).

If you are standing at point A in the store and intend to exit the store, remember now you can NOT think of any second exit plans because you have to act on them. Therefore if your exit is blocked by a runny nosed little kid, you have to stand there like an idiot.

Really in life you are always plotting what if situations, while driving , eating, mating, and when looking at people. In a mere second in your mind you plot with a good looking women, meeting-dating-mating, marrying, kids, and do you really want to pursue this train of thought. Most people say no to the train of thought and go their merry way in life, till they see the next beautiful person.

Anyone who claims they do not think all the options thru for everything is either a robot (with a bad program) or brain dead.
She is trying to cover her tracks.

Answer 5

Basically thinking and doing are not the same. You can think whatever you want. It's the action that leads you into trouble. Sounds like your girl friend has a guilty conscious. It may also come to be that she isn't who she says she is and you may soon find yourself on the trail again.

Answer 6

We all think about others because we are social creatures. At least you respected your relationship with her and didn't act on your thoughts. It sounds like she's looking for an excuse to run around as she pleases. Find someone else who will respect you.