What is the big deal about Marriage anyway?

Question

Why do people insist that this will make their life complete? Why are people so eager to own each other? And why do people say that it is sacred, death do us part, and all that mumbo jumbo?

The way people talk on here, they act like marriage is irreversible lke death. Also, I don't get why so many frown upon divorce. No deal should be so binding as marriage pretends to be.

And for you bitter ones out there: I've been married 10 years so that shows I know a little about commitment and what marriage means.

BUT I don't pretend to be the master of it or even begin to understand it.

And yes, I have a 4 year degree + prior military. Educated enough for you?

Answer 1

I've probably answered a question similar to this already, but here goes...I'll address each part of your question.

There is actually no "big deal" about marriage. For a couple really in love and committed to standing by one another through thick and thin, marriage is a minor detail. Forgive the simile, but it's like premeditated murder; meaning that you committ to the idea in your head before ever doing the deed. The "marriage" is nothing more than a socially recognized technicality for two people that (hopefully) are serious about a long term relationship.

I don't know about others, but when we got married, there was nothing in our minds about it making "our life complete." Our lives were already "complete" because we knew in our minds that we wanted to live together for life. We bought rings, got the license, and had a very small ceremony in the basement chapel of the nursing home where we both worked.

OK, so what's with the bit about people "owning" one another? Our relationship has nothing to do with dominating each other; well....unless we're playing dress-up games, but that's another story, lol. We're both equals in this relationship, although we perform different "tasks" and roles.

Sacred? Again, not a big mental issue for us. As we see it, there are TWO kinds of couples (forgive the oversimplification). 1) couples who are not emotionally mature and who don't know each other well enough yet to think about living together, and 2) couples who are emotionally mature and who have taken about a year to get acquainted with each other's important issues; sexual, political, spiritual, career-oriented, etc.

Death do us part? Uh....yeah, my friend. That's the deal. And what is the alternative, I might ask? That you're free to just hit the door at the first sign of difficulty? That's not committment. That's just lame. A person like that doesn't deserve to even have a pet dog.

Marriage "irreversible?" Again, are you committed to a relationship or just here for the beer? Are you in it just for the good times or are you part of a team, ready to support one another when the $hit hits the fan?

You're free to file for divorce any time you like. Obviously, many do, and some for good reason, but many for stupid, lame reasons. It's usually not about cheating or abuse, but because somebody didn't put the CDs back in order or put the toilet seat down.

Hey, I'm not saying that people can't just LIVE together. I'm not some Bible thumper.

What I am saying is that long term relationships are about love, compromise, and forgiveness; not total selfishness.

In general, the biggest reason ANY relationships fail is that one or both of the people are just too much into themselves. They're not fit for man nor beast and deserve to live their lives alone.

Answer 2

Does it really matter? Some people find different things to be fulfilling. If being married makes someone happy, great. If it makes them unhappy, oh well, thats their life. I think its an instint in many people to want to find a partner. Its like animals who mate for life. Its basically like finding someone to be a witness to your life. Someone who is there for the good, the bad, and the mundane. Someone to share in those things with you. Someone who appreciates the things you appreciate, and enriches your day by being the kind of person that you enjoy being around. No, it doesnt always work. Some people make the mistake of putting their partner up on a pedestal, and then act shocked when that person falls off. But its their lesson to learn, their experience to have, their life to live. There are far worse things to do in this world than aspire to a loving and lasting relationship. Its basically like finding a friend with benefits, whom you hope and wish to spend as much of your life as possible with.

Answer 3

Well, people like my lover and myself would rather be miserable together than miserable apart! Happines isn't dependant on one's spouse or relationship. It's a personal choice. It's just something that we believe in, but of course, the ceremony is really stupid! You are right about that.

Really, I don't give a crap what other people do or how many divorces people have, but I do think it's shallow when someone leaves a marriage simply because they still 'love' their spouse, but are not 'in love' with them anymore.

Answer 4

You are a total hypocrite who talks out of his @ss. Lonely are we? Just because no one wants to marry you doesn't mean it's a negative thing. Oh, and by the way, you clearly don't even understand the first thing about marriage you assinine loser so keep your mouth shut on this issue when other people ask for advice. Clearly you have nothing usefull or intelligent to contribute.You sound like an uneducated piece of @#$& too!

Answer 5

Happily unmarried for 12 years now.

Answer 6

the big deal about marriage is that it brings out the real you!

Answer 7

Get married ,u will come to know.

Answer 8

its just mumbo jumbo. NOW wheres rambo?.