I'm 28, married and two children. I love my husband in a sentimental way but I hardly enjoy sex with him, and it's not because of him. Im sure Im a lesbian but I never engage a sexual relationship with a women. I feel sexually atracted to woman more than to men, but in my sexual fantays I never want the whole thing, I just love the sensuality in it (Vs Sexuality).... The thing is that Im so afraid to look for the expierence with a woman and jeopardise my family....
What should I do? I feel so traped and o frustrated but I dont want to lose my family...
2007-02-27 18:03:27 · 15 answers · asked by Christina 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
He is the only person I have been with in my whole life, so its not so easy just to invite a woman to my bed.... Its a huge step to just to accept that I may be a lez and that maybe its to late.... But I dont know if this its going to consume my marriage
2007-02-28 03:33:19 · update #1
in life you always choose 1. Havingsex with another women or having your lovely family together. U cant have pies in your both hands. To eat it you have to let one go...........
U decide for your self.
ALL THE BEST
2007-02-27 18:46:38 · answer #1 · answered by harry d 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you aren't that sure. Take some time to figure out and explore (there are more ways than having sex to do this.) your sexuality. You might want to consider opening up to your husband at this point that you are questioning your sexuality. Once you've figured it out go from there. If you're bi your husband may be ok with you seeking the occasional female companionship to keep the marriage together. If you are in fact a lesbian though, stop wasting both of your life in a sham of a marriage and move on. You can still be a good mom to your kids as a single lesbian. At the least you can't be worse than some straight, married women...
2007-02-28 05:10:03 · answer #2 · answered by carora13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe what you are feeling is the excitement of breaking taboo. Perhaps you feel that you need a change. The fact that you say you like the sensuality of it, means you maybe just curious. You aren't the first woman to be curious. There is a reason that culturally, female/female visuals are so compelling. We idolize the female form. This isn't to say you aren't emerging, but don't label yourself yet. You haven't even been down the path;)
Now, as for what to do with all of that information, the first question is, 'can I talk with my husband about this?' If you can't, well there's a problem right there. If you can approach this by explaining to your spouse that you have this fantasy of being with a woman. Further, you might want counseling in either direction. There is serious anxiety about this decision.
2007-02-27 18:52:20 · answer #3 · answered by Greatest&Chiefest of calamities 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you are missing sensuality in your relationship. This is something you can easily explore and address with your husband, as cliche as it may sound.
You are saying that not even in your fantasies about women you don't want the whole thing. That makes me think you are not lez, you are just missing something in your relationship with your husband like... sensuality? It can be addressed and brought back and enhanced and what not. I'd say, explore this route before you explore the other one. It it turns out it doesn't work - it's not too late to accept that you're not what you thought you were even if you are 32, but it will be too late to say "oh, no I change my mind, I'm not lesbian" when your family is destroyed.
2007-02-28 10:59:36 · answer #4 · answered by Snowflake 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say that you love the sensuality of it, but you are still having sex in your fantasy? Or are just liking the sensual way that the girl touches you and caresses you. Maybe your husband should be more sensitive to you when having sex. If not sounds like u are a lesbian. For the kids sake, at least fake it for them. To open this up now would completely turn their world upside down. Remember, they made to be here and to be taken care of not mentally tortured.
2007-02-27 18:09:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell your husband to be more romantic, and not so much into a quick physical act, but to make you feel special. Give you a massage, tell you how pretty you are and listen to you talk about your feelings. Consider talking with a marriage counselor or a romance therapist to help spice things up. Does he have any cute sisters?
2007-02-27 18:11:04 · answer #6 · answered by St. Toad 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Eventually you will want complete sexual satisfaction. Is your marriage one where you could discuss your desires with him? My wife is bisexual and needs sexual experiences with other females from time to time in order to be completely satisfied. Of course, we have a very open communicative relationship, and we're both willing to at least try anything that the other is interested in.
2007-02-27 18:07:06 · answer #7 · answered by TheGreatMindsCouple#2 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest with your self and be open with your husband about this mater. It would take a load off your mind just to open up to the man your married. He might be more giving then you may give him credit for. Be prepaid and dam sure before opening that can of worms.
Good luck dear
2007-02-27 18:08:35 · answer #8 · answered by Bluelady... 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You leave me wondering.....You have such the perfect family and lifestyle but you leave me wondering how you came to your decision except by his sex. Its as though you are blaming everything on your husband and the father of your children that he didn't do it well enough........it almost sounds like a lifetime movie special to me :-)
Did you meet someone somewhere? Did you fall in love earlier in life before him and now she is your flame of passion?
I don't get it.....I'm a woman in your shoes, similar age, similar children statistics,,,,,,I just don't buy it.......
2007-02-27 18:11:23 · answer #9 · answered by kaliroadrager 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
sneak out one nite to a gay club go home with a girl have fun...go home and act like nothing happened....keep doing it...the main dish aint as good without something on the side...keep that in mind
2007-02-28 02:55:46 · answer #10 · answered by Hen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋