I met this guy online almost 2 yrs ago, same age, really good looking. I am being honest it was my first real experince in a chatroom and had no intentions on meeting anyone seriously.So we talked on the phone alot and got to know each other. He lived in the next state over. We eventually met, but I brought friends with me. We clicked right away. AS time went on I met his family, everything was working out...too well. A year into our relationship, I found out he had a child, later on I found out he met this girl he had a one night stand with in a chatroom. And then I decided to do my own research, and he supposedly scopes out chatrooms and has talked and met several girls online. He told me he had only did it one other time besides me. I will never ever meet someone from the internet again.When I was with him he told me he was suicidal and he wanted my help, so I did. He is a 29 yr old teacher!! I confronted him and told him I knew all the lies he told me and now he wont speak to me.
2007-02-27 17:43:11 · 11 answers · asked by maria s 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Do you think he is a manipulator, bi-polar, suffers from BPD, or just a compulsive liar??
2007-02-27 17:44:06 · update #1
Needless to say, I will never meet someone from the internet again. It was too good to be true. Someone I thought I knew so well, turned out to be horrible. And whats sad was I cctually feel in love with him. I thought he felt the same. I mean I met his family!
2007-02-27 17:45:42 · update #2
I would NEVER have anything to do with this man again. He has already proved he will lie to you. he hasn't been honest with you. Do you want to be with someone who cheats & is a liar? I wouldn't!! This is my answer to you. He won't make you happy. You would be better off finding someone else. It's true you have to be extremely careful meeting someone on the internet. There are a lot of crazy people out there & some wouldn't think twice if they killed someone or did other horrible things to them!!! Be CAREFUL & CAUTIOUS.
2007-02-27 18:17:44 · answer #1 · answered by goodgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The guy sounds like a manipulator. There are guys like that all over the world, in any society. They feel the need to passively manipulate women into allowing them to have sex with them. They will use any sort of barefaced lie to 'get thier end in'. Having achieved that, they lose interest, and move on. It's a way of not accepting responsibility. He's probably not a bad dude, but he's definitely not mature enough to think seriously about. Put him in your past, and leave him there. One very important thing you have learned is that you will be able to recognize the type next time you meet one. Don't let the experience frighten you off the Internet, there are a world full of nice guys out there - one may be for you.
2007-02-28 02:10:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The truth is if you start a relationship with a stranger (from a chat room or not) you can't really know if they're honest or not. The differance with a chat room is that people are more likely to lie from the start, because of the anonymity of it. As for this guy if I had to give him a psychiatric diagnosis I would go with histrionic personality disorder. He obviously thrives on attention and drama, as he fakes suicidal ideation. Or maybe he just had an inattentive mother, who knows. There are creeps on and off the web, you just have to make sure your safety comes first, move slowly and hope he's sane.
2007-02-28 02:08:49 · answer #3 · answered by crispies! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have all the advice you need from within your own post. Follow your own advice and stay away from internet relationships. Internet communication is not the best form of communication regardless of what some may say. People feel really loose and comfortable when they chat online, because there is no face to face to have to worry about. The feelings you feel are real, but the relationship is not. I am sorry this has happened to you. Find it in your heart to forgive this person and move on. I wish you the best.
2007-02-28 11:27:15 · answer #4 · answered by Goober W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, even if he has a BPD that doesnt sort it out for you nor makes you less bothered. Nor is it more important than the fact that your life was one step short of being ruined,am afraid. You dont tell me if you are 29 too coz you said initially that he was same age as you but later you use an exclamation to say he is 29. anywhich way the point is you just have to cut all ties with him and find someone worth your time and love. cheers.
2007-02-28 02:04:30 · answer #5 · answered by fleur 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chatrooms can be addictive. Sounds like he is/was addicted to chatrooms and meeting people in chat rooms. Sometimes people really really like that feeling you get when you first start talking to someone new. It sounds like he is a compulsive liar and honestly, compulsive liars find it very hard to stop lying and lying becomes so natural to them that they don't even realize that they are lying. My advice to you, is to move on. Be glad you didn't marry him or have children with him.
J
2007-02-28 01:53:53 · answer #6 · answered by Jenn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's def. a liar and a manipulator. don't have enough info to discuss the mental illness part. a jerk is a jerk. i think we tend to jump to mental illness as a way of excusing the person's behaviors and rationalizing the situation. don't blame yourself, people who live double lives seek out others' who are kind and caring, and "easy" to manipulate. i'd do what i can to move on and put him in the past. not everyone on the net is like this. my daughter met her fiance while chatting. they didn't meet in person for 2 years, and have been together for 6 years now. he's a great guy. you'll meet someone who values you for the kind and caring person you are. best of luck to you.
2007-02-28 02:15:08 · answer #7 · answered by pirate00girl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you really care what he is now? I hope not he isn't worth your energy.
please remember though that there are many happy couples our here who did meet via the internet. I met my now husband 7 years ago (just for a weekend .....) but we have never each others side since :D don't go looking it will just happen when it is right.
2007-02-28 02:13:53 · answer #8 · answered by pixie_proof 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi maria,
i'm sorry things turned out the way they did. we need to be careful and cautious about people we meet on line as we are with people we meet in our own hometown, maybe more careful. he may very well have mental issues and you are better off out of this relationship. when you think about your love for him, think of his insincerity to you. and how he hurt you. meeting his parents would have made me think the same as you, but i'll guess that his parents are just used to meeting many of his friends, online or off. pick up the pieces and go on. you confronted him... now he is mad at you by his being caught in his deceptions. let it be, for your own sake. many more fish in the sea. good luck!
2007-02-28 01:58:45 · answer #9 · answered by Sandra Dee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um, normal nice people use the internet too.
They don't typically scope out chat rooms though.
2007-02-28 01:54:17 · answer #10 · answered by The_Music_Man 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋