I guess all guys must go through this. My wife still looks good, but I don't want to have sex with her anymore after close to 10 years of marriage. Don't women realize that hot, lusty sex for a guy is going after the woman, pursuing her, and so forth. Once you have her and she has had a few kids, well, she is a mother now, not a hot babe to track down. There is nothing more to conquer. I still love my wife, but she doesn't believe me because I don't want to have sex with her. This sounds like it might be going the way of a divorce. Suggestions?
2007-02-27 16:53:12 · 29 answers · asked by Shaun Super 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Take your wife on a date. Just because she's had kids doesn't mean she's not a woman anymore.
If you want to pursue her, take her on a few dates like you probably used to do before ou were married.
Discuss buying a few sex toys together to spice things up in the bedroom. There are lots of tasteful yet fun games and toys you can use in the bedroom and still be comfortable with each other. Buy her some lingerie and ask her to model it for you and praise her and be supportive when she does.
These are just a few suggestions, there are lots of things you can do together in and out of the bedroom that will brighten up that spark between you. Give it a try and if some of the things don't work, try something else. 10 years of marriage is a lot to throw away on something that can be easily improved.
Give it a go and have fun!!!!
2007-02-27 17:00:12 · answer #1 · answered by Alyeria 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure if she read this she would have the perfect answer. It seems to me. she would not understand. At least not how you want her to.I suggest if you love your wife. Turn her around and give it to her until she shuts up. In the mean time you do need to resolve this issue. Stay married, communicate your fantasies...it's been ten years she might want changes too. A lot of men think there wives are too innocent..please you have no idea. I'm sure she will compromise. if she wants this marriage. it cost to much for a divorce of a ten year marriage.If you need to be single again....then get it out of your system.Just save her some heartache, make sure she never finds out. That means who ever it is and however good it is. Do not make it a repeat with the same girl. That will pull you further from your wife.
2007-02-27 17:29:52 · answer #2 · answered by Jade 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please listen to me:
You dont need a divorce!!! You have lost touch with who your wife is...she is just a smearing image you see everyday...
I think you are lacking major passion in ur relationship.
First take her out ...tell her to dress up(sexy for you)
then...
You need to look at your wife as a person. Watch her walk across the room and imagine her as an individual. Look in detail at what she is wearing think of her like a stranger. Ask her things just like you would a stranger (even though you might already know the answer)If you do this enough...you will see her in a diffrent light...
in a relationship you get what you put in...if u make no effort then you get none...
think about this long and hard:
A man who cheats on his wife:
thinks of his mistress like an angle....and his wife like a hoe.
That statment is total truth....and yet it is totally backwards...(read it over and over)
Im not saying your a cheater...just there is a really big point to it!!!
Diffrent is not better---it's just diffrent!
Your wife is the angel(who takes care of you) and the mistress is the damn slut home wrecker!!!
trust me when I tell you I know EXACTLY how you feel...i have felt it many many times in my own marriage...and some how I always fall in love with him all over again. And these are the things (above) are the only thing that helped!
2007-02-27 17:28:07 · answer #3 · answered by Lisa Kay 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do mean no sex at all with your wife or do you still indulge a few times just to keep your equipment in working order ? Try stopping sex all together and with in a couple months your wife will take on the most desirable thing on two legs you have ever seen !. There is of course the old saying "abstinence makes the heart grow fonder ". Cheers Pete
2007-02-27 17:01:57 · answer #4 · answered by Realist 2006 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, she's had a kid. Things are going to be different.
Do you not want to have sex with her because she put on extra weight? If so that's a sorry excuse. Women's bodies are going to change when a baby comes along.
I can understand if she's suffering from post-partum depression and she's not in the mood, but it sounds like she clearly wants to get down and dirty in the bedroom and you're pushing her away. She still needs love and affection too. So get creative.
Now stop making excuses and get on par with you wife. If you have to, go to counseling. Otherwise, she's gonna divorce you and clean you out. Did your vows not say "for better or for worse"?
It's men like you that give the rest of us a black eye.
2007-02-27 17:08:06 · answer #5 · answered by brotherb95 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hahah, my lover put it best, "A vagina is a sexy organ of lust until a woman has kids, then it becomes a nasty baby hole." Just one of the reasons I'm in love with him and not some guy who's willing to breed. Dude, I think you have to remember that you love this woman or at least promised to love her and now that you've been together for so long and such, make love not lusty *******. Those days are long gone. You should have known it would happen when you got married! Your wife is probably making love with you and not lusty *******.
2007-02-27 17:01:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your perspective is a bit immature if you believe that sex is just about pursuit. Yes, perhaps at the beginning. But mature love is just as lusty if you put your mind into it.
I could suggest simple things but it is really up to you to decide to make the lust return. Of course it is up to getting your wife into the game too. Make sex fun again and not something just to entertain you and you might feel the lust return.
You have made a fantasy in your mind that will cost you a lot of pain in the future. You think that divorce is fun? A mad woman is one very bad thing indeed. I suggest that you bother learn how to reintroduce passion in your love.
Dress nice, flirt again, get in shape. Encourage her to do the same. Watch dirty movies together. Date again. Put some effort in to her again and she will into you.
That said. Not wanting to have sex is a problem in you. Not her. She had children for you. You owe her everything. Be a man!
2007-02-27 17:00:50 · answer #7 · answered by kishoti 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How do you know she doesn't feel the same way about you? Your a dad now. Woman have lustful feelings too, they like the chase and conquer too but you don't see your wife whining about not wanting to have sex with you? Did you ever think that maybe she doesn't think your so hot anymore either.
2007-02-27 17:16:35 · answer #8 · answered by boo_boobunny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to tell you this but your being cheated on while your wondering this and that, that and this she is getting her grove on with a hot young man that is realizing her more intimate fantasies. She only sees you as a father but don't worry she still loves you but she must rather have sex with a younger man. This is just a faze she is going threw and the marriage will not end because you have lived a life time together you love your children that are more important than lust.
2007-02-27 17:09:44 · answer #9 · answered by none 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow, u cant be attracted to your wife.Not if u are considering a divorce because u have lost sexual interest in her. I think there are ways to get that interest back all it takes is a sexy makeover. But she may not want to because she may feel like u have just thrown her away after she bore your children and stayed by your side for 10 yrs. That should be sexy enough for u but i guess its not. U should feel really good that "after 10 yrs" she's still attracted to u cause who knows how it may make u feel if she said the same thing to u
2007-02-27 17:00:11 · answer #10 · answered by JAY 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋