My husband told me me's moving out?

Question

My husband and I are at our lowest point of our relationship. We decided to go to counsling and we both agreed to "try and work issues out" we went to the counsler and my husband decided to stay in our household and work things out. Well, I went to counsling today (by myself) and later on when I came back my husband informed me that he can't let go of the past and he has no desire to try anymore. What should I do? I told him that one session won't help and I wish he could be there for me, stay strong and move forward. I know this is a difficult time for both of us and he said....I see you making progress and really putting out effort but it's to late. I'm going back to counsling on Thursday (by myself)~that's what the counsler suggested. But for now, WHAT DO I DO???I'm sheding tons of weight I can't eat or sleep I feel like a wreck! I love my husband and he says he still lo
ves me and he has never loved anyone like he loves me. ???signed~depressed

Answer 1

My heart goes out to you. You perhaps dont want to hear my answer, but marriage counseling seldom works anyway. You need to accept he no longer wants to remain "as is" and it takes two to be in a marriage, and you only have control over yourself. He is not worth it, you deserve better, someone who has the same definition of marriage and committment that you do. Call a good divorce attorney, and keep going to counseling, ask for prozac if you need it. It helps

Answer 2

You need to do what is best for you and continuing with counseling should help you in this next phase of life. I think that the counseling for your husband, might have been to much reality. So I would push it, Let him know that it is OK if he doesn't want to go, but you are getting something out of it. Ask him to stay and you are not going to make him feel bad nor will you push anything on him. Maybe in time he will ask or come around. Counseling isn't for everybody.

Answer 3

The ONLY thing you CAN do, is offer your patience and understanding to him IF he were to agree that holding on to the past is a MAJOR reason you 2 are not happy. How can he truly love YOU when he is holding on to this grey dark cloud called "the past"?? He needs the counseling MUCH more than you do - are you at all in to church?? There are GREAT passages in the Bible explaining the horrid effects living in the past has on us and especially in ANY relationship. I know how horrible this must be for you - I've been there with my husband, so I know. I am an EXTREMELY tenacious person and fought tooth and nail (but nicely and not emotionally) until I finally found the right "proof" that the past was destroying us NOW. He Finally woke up. Good luck!!

Answer 4

you make a bad choice. let him loose. and start learning from this huge mistake. next time marry someone who wants and needs to have a home and a wife to be a partner. forget all the bs love conquors all. somebody that comes from a strong family will stick. men tend to misbehave but most really want a safe home to come to and the backing of a wife. it is a partnership not a damn romance. that is where most go wrong. if romance fades, forget about it. get all the money and help you can to restart. but you wanted a partner a good person and you got a boderline personality disorder patient.

Answer 5

With not knowing what caused the problems....I would say let him go,continue your couseling and keep a good or decent friendly level with him. He might come around or he may not. But if one of you is not h appy in the marriage anymore then why cause or add to the pain and unhappiness. Good luck in your daily life and I hope it all works out for the better for you both.

Answer 6

If he really loved you it is not too much to ask him to come to a few more session. Ask the counsellor for advice on strategies to get him there. Instead of an open ended thing, try to get him to come to say 5 sessions. If he refuses then sorry dear there is not much to do, you can't physically drag him there. But for you sake keep going for as long as you feel you are getting something from the sessions

Answer 7

THATS VERY SAD AND IA M SO SORRY~! YOU SHOULD KEEP GOING TO YOUR APPOINMANTS WITH OR WITHOUT HIM. MAYBE IN TIME YOU CAN BE BACK TOGETHER~! IT SOUNDS LIKE RIGHT NOW YOU BOTH NEED TIME APART AND SOMETIMES THATS NOT A BAD THING...IT ALSO SOUNDS LIKE YOU BOTH LOVE EACH OTHER VERY MUCH~! WHATEVER T IS THAT HE CANT LET GO OF,HE IS GOING TO HAVE TO LEARN HOW OR IT WILL NEVER WORK~! GOOD LUCK AMD STAY STRONG......IN THE END IT WILL ALL WORK OUT~!

Answer 8

Counseling may help but if your depressed you need professional help such as a therapist as a they can help you to separate the issues and help you with the depression through medication intervention. Good luck!

Answer 9

all you can do is keep going to counseling, and if he want to
move out then let him you cant make someone do something
that they dont want to do. it sound like he does not want to
work this out. then you need to do what is best for you. if you
dont you will continue to be depressed and trust me it not
worth that. life does go on. it may not look like that right now
but as time goes on, it will get better for you. hopefully he
will want to make it work but if not, time for you to heal
and do your thing.

Answer 10

like a lot of situations, i think he should move out- but only temporarily. use his "time out" as a time to do more for yourself. occupy urself. that way, the situation will get less intense over time. keep his moving out for a couple of months or so. Then, when the situation isn't so intense and uncomfortable to talk about, talk it out wiht urselves first. Then go back to counsoling.