I have a sex issue about my little sister...?

Question

...she is dating a nineteen year old (I'M NINETEEN FOR GOD'S SAKE!) and she is only fourteen. However, one day when I came home to visit from college, my sister started asking me all about sex and what it feels like and whether a condom is more effective that birth controll. And that got me a little scared. But the worst part of it is when I went into her room to empty her garbage can, I found a condom wrapper in the trash can, do you think that she is having sex? If she is should I tell my parents because if she is it is illegal sex. Please I need help!

Answer 1

Is she having sex? I don't know. A condom wrapper in a trash can could just be curiousity. I know I looked at condoms secretly before I even had sex just because I wondered what they were like.

The only thing you should do is make sure she has the proper protection [condoms AND birth control] and that your parents are aware of the situation. Do they know that your sister is dating a nineteen year old? If they do then they probably won’t care if they are having sex. Any parent who is “okay” with their child dating an adult probably would be “okay” with them having sex also.

As far as telling your parents that they are having sex or even dating I wouldn't just yet. Talk to your sister about this guy. Ask her why she thinks he's with her. Ask her what a fourteen year old girl and a nineteen year old boy have in common. The answers are very clear the boy is with her for sex because a nineteen year old boy [technically man] and a fourteen year old girl have nothing in common. Her boyfriend is most likely out of high school whereas your sister is just beginning or not even there. He has experienced so much more then her. Explain to her that if they are having sex that it's very illegal--statutory rape. Explain to her that she should either (a) tell your parents about her boyfriend or (b) find a boyfriend her own age. This way she doesn't feel betrayed but she knows you are looking out for her. Have a real heart to heart.

If that doesn't work then I'd go straight to your parents and explain the situation. Tell them that they needed to know and that your sister has not admitted [that is if she hasn't admitted having sex by then] having sex with this boy but you have reason to believe that she may do so soon.

Being a sister is hard at times but you really need to be there for her and give her options--telling your parents or breaking up with him. You need to guide her not just tell on her. I hope this helps you parents do need to know but I'd give her the opportunity before telling them. Give her about a week. Best of Luck!

Answer 2

she might be just curious about condoms, an open wrapper doesn't really mean anything. specially if she is asking you what it feels like. she trusts you to give her the correct information, so I would sit down and talk to her, you are her BIG sister, she looks up to you. Explain all of your worries to her, but don't nag about not having sex, just mention that she might regreat it, she needs to be careful and until she finds another birth control method condoms are a must. explain, that you think that she might be too young for sex and wont' enjoy it to the fullest until she is a little older. talk to her, give her your honest opinion, like i said she trusts you. but I would still, after informing her about everything that she needs to know about safe sex (see my point: you would rather have her have safe sex if she is going to do it, than have sex not knowing anything about it, if those were the options, since you can't control her actions, that would be the least of the two evils), I would still discreatly inform your mom, so that she can go have a talk with her. Make sure mom doesn't tell on you, you want to keep your sister's trust, it is important in the case if she gets pregnant or gets an STD (hope not!!). use your BIG sister reputation to influence her decision. GOOD LUCK!

Answer 3

i know you don't want to be the nagging sister or a taddle tale but yeah you should tell a parent. If she is going to have sex then she needs to be put on the pill or another birth control method. also that guy has no business with a young girl like that. what the hell is wrong with him? She probably is having sex considering that you found the wrapper. tell someone before its too late and she is left pregnant or with some std. condoms bust! better safe than sorry. hope this helps

Answer 4

you definately need to tell your parents. Im 19 too and i have a little sister who is 13. if i saw that i would tell my parents right away. You know boys our age and they have absolutely no reason to be with a 14 year old girl. He obviously only wants one thing. You need to tell your parents before this gets really serious. You may worry that she's gunna hate you, but come on. Our little sisters love us. Maybe she'll be angry but in the future she'll realise you saved her. How many girls who had sex young regret it? Please dont worry about her being mad at you. She's a child, and a hormonal one that can easily believe a 19 year old loves her. We both know he has some issues if he wants to have sex with a 14 year old girl. Even if they havent had sex yet, he still shouldnt be with her. 19 year olds have alot more experience in life in general and some of the things he could introduce to her, like drugs or alcohol, could really effect her whole life. Tell your parents, your the adult here.

Answer 5

ummm yeah it would be illegal...for the guy. At 19 he is considered an adult at 14 she is considered a minor (child in some states). An adult having sex with a minor is considered staturtory rape, whether it is consentual or not. The "victim" or victims family does not prosecut such cases...they are reported by the victim or the victim's parents and the STATE prosecutes the cases, the victim becomes a witness for the state, or a "hostile" witness for the state if she "loves" the guy. None the less it usually ends up with him getting a prison term and a room mate named Bubba who is just waiting for him to drop the soap in the showers...

Answer 6

I think you're a terrific big sister. I really do think, discreetly, you should inform your parents. Your little sister doesn't have to know the information came from you. And I'm quite sure that your parents will respect that and find a way to bring this out in the open without it looking like you were "snitching" on your sister.

Your sister risks two things, and both are quite familiar to you. One is pregnancy, and the other is an STD. OH yes, and we cannot forget HIV. So if you intercede now, you could possibly save her alot of heartache later, or even her life. So please, do the right thing, and give your parents this information. It's really important that you do.

Best wishes.

Answer 7

First, be happy that you have a sister who confides in you. Let your sister know it's fine and natural to have questions at her age and tell her should she be speaking to your parents. Also, let her know that you found the condom wrapper and that you are very concerned about her but make sure you aren't accusing her of having sex. (You can't be sure she had sex just by finding a condom wrapper.) Lastly, offer to go to your parents with her for support.

I wish you the best.

Answer 8

Maybe she is curious but there is no way she needs to have sex at her age. Maybe she just wanted to see what a condom looked like but then again you never know I would speak to my mother first if that happened to me. Moms usually can investigate a little more than dad without it being known. Whatever you do ask mom if you can remain annomyous

Answer 9

you should search for suggestion from from her the acceptable you could...it would no longer substitute her thoughts yet a minimum of you performed some thing, enable her see the negatives of being pregnant, STDS and stuff by having sex at this age. and that i imagine you would help her, she's coming for you for help and in case you do not she would finally end up with an STD (has this guy slept with any individuals?) or pregnant and that i'm positive you do not pick her with a touch toddler. also how lengthy have they been interior the relationship?

Answer 10

Since you are older you should really talk to your sister and let her know what is going on and then possibly get her to talk to your parents. You should also talk to this boyfriend of hers since you too are the same age and tell him what he's doing is wrong. She needs someone I wish my sister would've talked to me when I was 15 having sex with a 20 year old. She's too young and if he likes younger girls he should get help because thats just wrong and against the law for a reason. Good luck to you and your little sister.