She always tells me about the fights and horrible things her husband does, yet she never does anything about it. Im starting to get annoyed because it seems like she LIKES the drama. I dont know what to say to her anymore, because its always the same story, and she never does anything about it- like, go to counseling, or see a divorce lawyer! Advice?
2007-02-27 16:31:14 · 11 answers · asked by Penny P 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sadly, some women just will put up with that behavior. Her choice. You also have a choice: this is bringing you down more than her! Say good bye & get your peaceful life back. She is hooked on the drama!
2007-02-27 16:36:32 · answer #1 · answered by life coach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have firsthand experience in this kind of thing/study psychology on a deep level. Seems like the problem is not what she can do to fix the situation, but rather fix herself. Most of the time, people are completely unable to do this so to be realistic, nothing but encouragement from you as a friend can really help. Help her love herself. That is worth way more than the money it would take for the counseling and would give better results.
By the way, she probably DOES like the drama. So using that as a negative won't work. Get to her by showing her how it affects her health, friendships, etc.
Good luck,
Franklin
2007-02-28 00:38:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I stayed married to a verbally abusive man for 17 years, more for the kids than anything else. Some women don't know anything else, which was my case. Some women think they don't deserve any better. All are afraid of having to make a go of it on their own if they leave their husbands. Many are afraid to leave because they have been told they would be found and dragged back or killed. You have to know exactly what she thinks before you can help her. Spend some time and find this out and go from there. Lots of luck, to both of you.
2007-02-28 00:49:33 · answer #3 · answered by The Nana of Nana's 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She takes refuge in her pain and suffering. She maybe a huge Drama Queen and wants the attention but, She should seek counseling or a divorce lawyer. Yes, it's annoying to have a Drama Queen round.
2007-02-28 00:36:06 · answer #4 · answered by Kitty Lucy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is harder than you think to leave this kind of relationship. That said, be supportive but don't listen to it anymore if it is hard on you. It isn't your job to get brought down...
I don't know her reason, but sometimes a woman's self esteem is so low that they can't leave, even if they want too. I agree with the other person that said that she needs to work on herself. If she was ok, she would leave in a minute. No one wants to be treated badly, so figure that she feels so bad that she can't.
That is all you can do. Tell her that you don't want to hear about her pain if she isn't ready to do something about it. I really sympathize because I have a husband that can get mean and I am not ready to leave. One day I might though. I just set my standards. Perhaps she needs to set hers.
2007-02-28 00:51:28 · answer #5 · answered by kishoti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my sister is the same way as your friend, till finally i've had it. i told her that next time she calls to complain about her husband to stop talking and and for her to say " im happy that my husband is abusive because this is the life i chose to live. i never leave and i don't do anything about it. so i accept this life that i live. because it is my choice to be abused, i enjoy it so much that i don't do anything about it and call everyone to tell them about my woes." It pissed her of. but i told her that it pissed me off to see her crying about this and then the next day she's all lovey dovey with him. when she realized that this was the guy she decided to make her life with and she chose to put up with his abuse, well he was out within a 6 months. she realized that it affected even me. it take s time for someone to realize that they can be strong and confident and not need an abusive person in their life in order to live in this world. they need to realize that it hurts everyone around them and hurts all relationships.. like sister to sister relationship
2007-02-28 01:08:34 · answer #6 · answered by liebre 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very sad, but it appears as though you have done as much as you can to convince her that it is not a healthy situation. The rest is left up to her. Tell her that you would love to help her if she continues to complain, but she is the only one who can choose a different type of life. Be a friend and support her as much as you can without burning yourself out.
2007-02-28 00:43:24 · answer #7 · answered by myleshunt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to get out asap!! before he takes her life with him and that's what she's left with her love for him and her life..a man that loves u would never try to bring u down or hurt you in anyway..of course u can argue but it should never lead to any physical act to hurt u emotionally that it'll scar u up literally..Good Luck
2007-02-28 00:36:27 · answer #8 · answered by NeeAndee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Abuse is not DRAMA! Abuse is about CONTROL!
She dosn't do what you want her to do...CONTROL!
You hate the Control that he has over her that you so desperately need to have.
Don't MAKE HER do anything. Be SUPPORTIVE. Be KIND, NURTURING and LOVING...
and then you can be everything to him that she isn't!
Just calling you out...
WHAT KIND OF FRIEND GETS ON YAHOO AND REFERS TO HER ABUSED FRIEND'S LIFE AS "DRAMA?!!
2007-02-28 00:49:34 · answer #9 · answered by I'm daddy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her your are sick of her drama.
2007-02-28 00:35:02 · answer #10 · answered by Atheist Eye Candy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋