I moved from another state to be in a relationship for 6yrs and had 2 children with this man. I dont drink and smoke, I'm very dedicated to my family in everything i do. I thought all the good would last forever. Recently my boyfriend has been very addicted to porn, (videos, internet, strip clubs). Knowing it makes me mad he runs to a hotel to watch his porn and to the strip clubs, and would still lie about it. Hes had a internet account i never knew about for about a year now and has a password I cant use and will not give to me. Ive taken a cord that goes to the computer and he bought another one. He works full time m-f when weekends come hes gone for 5-7 hrs at a time and im still home with the kids. I feel something isnt right and wondering the heck is wrong with this man. What is it that im not seeing. I want to leave and move home but i keep coming back. Can you please help with this situation. Im very sad and depressed.
2007-02-27 16:28:11 · 7 answers · asked by Mammaluv78 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It sounds like a tough situation that was not built on any type of serious commitment. I am sorry to say that this would take a lot of commitment on both sides to fix, and he is not quite ready for it. If he is he will start with giving up the porn and will marry you. Anything less than this will not work. You will also need counseling.
I am sorry that you are in such a difficult situation. You may want to take the kids to you your parents and start from there. Good luck.
2007-02-27 16:43:37 · answer #1 · answered by Chachito 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree. It sounds like he's addicted to it! I'm not totally against porn, but I don't agree with it. But for somebody to go to that extent to watch porn...to rent a hotel??? If you stay in this situation, when your children get into the investigative age (if they aren't there already) they're going to notice daddy's porn, whether it be in a collection, on the computer, or what-not. Porn sites are bad for your computer anyways. The pop ups and ads on those sites seem like they never go away. I can tell if somebody's on my computer looking at porn. It would drive me CRAZY...I'm not into that, and since you're not either, your hubby should respect that.
Not telling you what to do, but the best thing I can see is for you to leave with the children to your parent's and start over. Rent an apartment if you have to. They have low-income facilities if needed. You and your children shouldn't have to be exposed to that.
2007-02-27 17:00:50 · answer #2 · answered by Buffy C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
6 years? I left my husband after 25 years of porn,lies,dirty secrets! It was hard but I am now free! Relationships can be like an addiction,and addictions are hard to break but they can be broken. Y ou ,have allowed this man to use, abuse, lie, disrespect you. He has broken your heart and spirit. Now you must break off from him. You must take back your power you gave to him.Life goes on. I understand your pain I honestly do. You are a valuable person worthy of love and respect! The problem is, you gage your worth through his opinion.And from what you say his opinion of you is that you are weak,and usable! Stay and suffer,or leave and live and enjoy a life that you can never have again. he is. Bless you sweet one, you will be fine,it will be OK.It starts with a decision.Make it at once!!
2007-02-27 17:47:46 · answer #3 · answered by sandra b 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont mean to sound offending but i think your husband really needs help. My advice to you would be to leave. Do you really want to expose your kids to this kind of material? Do you really want to put up with this?. Leave. This will show him that he needs to change and that if he doesnt hes in risk of losing everything he has...his family. No matter how hard you want to go back fight it in yourself to not return and tell yourself its for your childrens and your well being. Im sure your a real great wife and you have a real good family and im sure that he will soon wake up and realise that he needs to change.
Remeber Its all about you and your childrens well being,
xoxoxMoeisha
2007-02-27 16:43:58 · answer #4 · answered by Moeisha 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMGOD GET OUT!! i am not kidding you. i was married to a man with a porno addiction for 8 years. i knew he was into some sick stuff, i had no idea he was going behind my back to those adult personals meeting ppl for orgies and weird sex stuff. luckily our marriage was a sexless one, so i didnt catch anything, but having a sexless marriage is painful enough in itself. **** him he's choosing that over you and you would be disgusted if you only knew the full extent of what he was doing. GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT im not even playing . it sounds just exactly like what i went thorugh. the feeling something isnt right. and another thing to look for that i really noticed i was depressed and wanting to just die and i felt this heavy dark black cloud just looming over my head the whole time i was in that house with him. GET OUT !!!!!!!! oh your man makes me sick just thinking about it.
if u can email me cause im still dealing with this it would be nice to know im not the only one peachesandcreamunicorns@yahoo.com
2007-02-27 17:37:35 · answer #5 · answered by lady26 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it sound like you need to let him know how you feel about what
is going on in this relationship. he is disrespect you and you
deserve much better than that. it wont get better unless you
deal with one way or nothing. time for him to get it together
for you and your kids. or time for you to move on. this time
for good. this back and forth is not good for your or the
kids.
2007-02-27 16:42:48 · answer #6 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nothings wrong with porns.. he's not f*cking them, he's watching them f*ck OTHER people.
just like how you check out guys when you go out and think its not wrong, when it is because you are within talking distance
2007-02-27 16:39:50 · answer #7 · answered by John Becker 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋