I just found out that I am pregnant and i am only 20?

Question

my boyfriend and I have been together for under a year and i just found out that i am pregnant. He is not sure if right now is a good time to have a child. Right now i am in college and trying to get my life set. I dont believe in abortions, i think it is wrong. but right now i need some help. I feel like he does not want to do this right now and if things dont work out with us am i going to be a ble to do this on my own? I know that my family will support me 100% , but i dont know what to do. I m so confused . Is there anyone that can help me with some advice. pllleaseee

Answer 1

You're doing the right thing not aborting the child. It's not just best for your baby, it's best for you, even if you decide to put him/her up for adoption. It's really great that you have a loving family, they will help you. What about your boyfriend? I had a couple friends get married when they got their girlfriend's pregnant and everything worked out fine. If he is a keeper, then marriage is a great option. You'll feel more secure, and you'll know that your baby will grow up with a dad. If he's not a keeper, then you may want to give adoption a closer look. No matter what you do, don't say "my life is over" Having a baby can be a challenging process but it makes you beautiful on the inside.

Answer 2

I was in a similar situation, got pregnant when I was 20, been together a little over a year, my boyfriend wasn't sure it was the right time for a baby but didn't want an abortion. The first thing that I can say is you cannot even comprehend how much you will love that baby. I can't even describe it, you have to live it to get it. A child will change your life, I don't think anyone will dispute that. Having a child doesn't mean you have to stop going to school, it doesn't mean you have to give up your dreams. It may take you a little longer to get there financially but if you want something you will make it happen. My boyfriend freaked out when I was pregnant. He stopped touching me, was more distant than normal. If you guys get through the pregnancy and are still together, he will most likely do a 180 once the baby is here. Since I don't know you or your relationship I don't know what will happen for sure but that was my personal experience. Don't make your decision on what someone else wants. It sounds like you don't want an abortion, which I commend you for. Make your decision based on YOU! If you need some good advice, support, or someone to talk to go to the site in the source. My screenname is JuJu'smama.

Answer 3

OK, you need to try and take a little time and let the fact that you are pregnant sink in. I know that you are freaked out, but you have some time to really think about what you want to do.

Your focus should be on YOU. You have to decide what you want to do; keep the baby, abort, or put the baby up for adoption. From the tenor of your question, it seems that abortion is not an option, which then leaves you with either keeping the baby or having the baby be adopted by another loving family.

You have to decide the fate of your child independently of your boyfriend; you cannot simply assume that he will remain with you if you decide to keep the child. He may feel that he isn't ready for fatherhood, and he may decide to bail on you. Do not assume that he will remain with you, regardless of your decision. If you decide to keep the baby, you then have to decide whether you will continue with college, drop out for good, or drop out for a while and then resume your education.

Luckily for you, your family will support you. Go to them; tell them your situation. Ask for their help, love and support. Ask them for their advice. Listen to them, and use their advice to help you make your decision.

Remember that you have time; you don't have to make such an important decision tomorrow or next week. Take your time, and the answer will come to you.

Answer 4

I had my daughter when I was 17 years old and we have done just fine. It's not easy by any means to have a baby but it is worth wile. If your boyfriend doesn't want to be there then let him go. I've been doing it on my own for 7 years now and although it's not easy, it's also the most rewarding thing you will ever do. Even though you say abortion is not an option let me reassure you, it's a very scary thing to go through. Good luck in whatever you decide.

Answer 5

Make sure you take time to think about what is best for you and the child. Don't make any rash decisions, because you might end up regretting it in the future. Maybe you should try to talk to someone who is objective, who wants you to make that decision on your own that way they don't try to sway you one way or the other. I'm 21 and I;ve been with my bf for a little over a year, we think I might be pregnant and I'm in college... I have a lot to think about, but if I am pregnant, I'm about 13-14 weeks so my mind is pretty made up for me at this point. I would have given it some serious consideration though because it is a big decision and having a child is something you have to be ready for. Hope this helps. God bless and I hope everything works out for the best.

Answer 6

I'm sorry you're in such a difficult situation.

It seems to me from what you wrote that you are planning on having your child. So, I guess what you really need to figure out are what your options are, and how you can keep your life on track with a baby.

Have you thought about going to a counselor at your school? Someone at your school's medical center should be able to help talk you through the situation and direct you to sources for further help.

There are all kinds of support available for mothers, things you'd never know about until you look. But you'll have to do some research to find out what's in your area.

Good luck.

Answer 7

First of all, congratulations on your pregnancy. Regardless of your circumstances, your baby is a gift. I'm going to be blunt, but it is out of genuine concern for both you and your baby, okay? If you are pregnant, your boyfriend already HAS a child, whether it is a "good time" or not. Your baby's heart started beating just three weeks after conception. It is not your baby's fault that you chose to have sex, or that you are still in college, or that your relationship with your boyfriend is perhaps not as solid as it should be. Your baby is totally innocent and does not deserve to die. You know this, and I am glad. I just want to encourage you to continue to stay strong and protect your child. She is depending on you.

You do not need to feel sorry for your boyfriend, and you should not allow him to manipulate you. He is a grown man and no doubt understood when he chose to have sex with you that a baby could result. Maybe he will come around in the end, and maybe he will not, but either way, you will find out what kind of a man he really is. No man is worth the life of your child. Boyfriends come and go, but your baby is your baby forever. How would you feel if you aborted your baby, and he ended up leaving anyway? Statistically speaking, most relationships break up after abortion.

I am so glad to know that your family will support you. There is other help available for you as well. If you go to a pregnancy care center in you area, they can give you referrals for financial, medical, legal, and housing assistance; a free ultrasound (at some centers); free maternity and baby supplies; pregnancy, parenting, and adoption information; and counseling and emotional support. All of their services are free and confidential. You can find one near you by calling 1-800-395-HELP or visiting:
http://www.optionline.org/advantage.asp (US)
http://www.heartbeatinternational.org/worldwide_directory.asp (worldwide)

Also, there is an organization that specializes in helping college and career women who are experiencing an unplanned pregnancy:
http://www.nurturingnetwork.org

Keep in mind, too, that your boyfriend will be legally obligated to provide you with child support, should you choose to receive it, regardless of how he feels about the baby.

If you need some help doing the right thing, take a look at this information:

Photos and Video of Abortions, Including 1st Trimester Abortions:
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-4-video.html
http://www.cbrinfo.org/Resources/pictures.html
http://www.cbrinfo.org

Information on All Aspects of Abortion:
http://Abort73.com

Photos and Facts About Prenatal Development:
http://www.justthefacts.org/clar.asp
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-2-prenatal.html
http://www.studentsforlife.uct.ac.za/foetal%20dev%20photos.html
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_pictures/3847319.stm

Abortion Stories:
http://abortiontv.com/Words/truestoriesfrom-mothers.htm
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-G-2-testimony.html

Abortion Risks:
http://afterabortion.info/complic.html
http://www.abortionfacts.com/reardon/effect_of_abortion.asp

Abortion Deaths:
http://www.lifedynamics.com/Pro-life_Group/Pro-choice_Women
http://www.afterabortion.info/news/abortiondeaths.html
http://www.nrlc.org/Factsheets/FS15_pilldanger.pdf

Stay strong. Don't let anyone hurt you or your baby. God bless.

Answer 8

Well you need to make a decision that you can live with for the rest of your life. You say you don't believe in abortions... so that leaves you with give it up for adoption, or keep it.
You're right to think that you'll have to do this on your own. And, of course you can do it... millions of women do it everyday. You never know... his attitude might change when he sees his baby.

Either way... you're going to stay pregnant... so, you need to relax. You have a lot of time to figure out how life is going to work... you don't need to find an answer this month. Just take it day by day.
Good luck... life has a way of working itself out.

Answer 9

I was pregnant at 15 and had my son at 16... he will be 8 in March and his dad and I have been together for 10 years but married for 6 due to his military career screwing up our wedding dates for a few years..lol.. We have now been trying to get pregnant for about 6 years now. I don't regret having my son so young, I love my hubby to death. My life has turned out for the best but every story is different. Only you can decide what's best for you. I hope you are happy with whatever decision you make. Good Luck

Answer 10

you have 16 wks. u say that you dont believe in abortions but i bet u never thought you would be in the situation that u are in now. accidents happen. if you are not prepared to raise ur baby alone 1 day if anything happens, then u are not ready for a child. finish college, get something to offer a baby so that u dont have to depend on ur family to help u take care of the baby. not trying to be mean but being real, ur family didn't make it, they shouldnt have to deal with the consequences. and from one woman to another when he was doing it to u raw he knew the consequences of his actions, now ur pregnt and he wanna act like he aint ready to be a dad(not saying he aint) but he need to be a man and use protection then. and if u do decide to get an abortion, dont go thru it alone, make his *** go thru the whole thing with u. he needs to feel this too. i am never sayin dont have ur baby, im just saying that u need to take a closer look at who u are having one with. good luck sweet heart.