Has anyone ever literally felt your heart break?

Question

My hubby and I fight all of the time, and it's starting to really wear me down. I'm only 28, and it hurts so much that it's giving me chest pains.

He doesn't want to listen. If he would just LISTEN before he got all mad and defensive, I wouldn't be writing this.

I'm tired, but I hurt so bad that I can't sleep. He's out driving somewhere. I know that he's not cheating, by the way, for those of you who may ask.

I can't eat, either.

Why does it hurt so much? I just want to quit.

Answer 1

I know how you feel.the arguing is just a burden and it does wear you out. I'm 26 and i don't know what to do, it's like terrible when you explain your side and he won't understand it and he still thinks that I'm always wrong.

You love the person,you don't want to leave him but the stress is just to much that you want to give up.

Answer 2

The pains in your cheast are not from a broken heart, it's from stress. Go to your doctor and tell him/ her what is happening and they can help you get rid of the pain.

You and your husband sound as though you've forgotten how to talk to one another. Sit down together and calmly talk things over. If your hubby starts to get mad and defensive, walk away and come back to the conversation when he's calm again. Yelling at one other does nothing so if you don't like the situation, remove yourself from it. All you have to say is " i only wanted to talk because i'm sick of fighting and i want our marriage to work. When you're ready to work on it with me, i'll be waiting to talk.' tell him clearly that you aren't going to fight with him or be yelled at. A few sessions with a counsellor will help too. Start by going alone and tell your husband what your doing and why you're going. The counsellor will be able to teach you some ways of handling confrontation without getting into a fight. Eventually you might try bringing your hubby along so you can work it out together. Do everything you can to save your marriage, it's worth it. There is a reason you got married to begin with and i think you have both forgotten what it was.

Good Luck and all the best for the future.

Answer 3

Well i don't know what you mean by quiting. But make your life a happy one some way. Some times men have a hard time listening. You are a great Lady to know that he is not cheating and i hope he realizes this before you get fed up with trying to talk and work things out. Every couple would be better off if only they could learn to sit quietly and have a cup of coffee or hot chocolate or tea or whatever and a tiny dessert and enjoy each others company and talk calmly to each other. Maybe just hug him when he gets home and see if he will like this really calm type of conversation. I had one that kept getting mad and leaving so i let him go after it became too difficult for me to handle. He had the capacity to be nice he just would not be. I hope things will start to work out better for you so maybe try giving him a hug and tell him that you worry when he leaves you this way. Hope things get better. Just try for right now to calm down yourself the best that you can. Sometimes life gets hard but never quit on yourself.

Answer 4

I'm sorry, I can't answer your question, and I know that that is what this whole Yahoo!Answers thing is about. I just wanted to tell you that I empathize with you. Nearing the end of my first (and only) relationship, I often wondered why, when I'd feel emotionally hurt, it litterally hit me, right there in my chest. It was like deception / betrayal / or simply being let down would cause this anxiety and stress like feeling to build up in my chest and I couldn't shake it. I'm here struggling to find the words, but I trust that all women - maybe even men alike - can understand the feeling I'm trying to communicate.
I guess this is where the term comes from, "to feel ones heart break". Because it hits right there. That's what I was told.
Your heart truley loves this man, otherwise it wouldn't affect you this severely. My best advice would be to seek help, because problems like this don't go away on their own.

Answer 5

Pepperkittyn - Dear, you need to take a TIME OUT! You are putting yourself, your health, mind, and your total essence in harm's way. You need to get away!

Regardless if you are 28 or not, you could suffer a Heart Attack or other serious health problem as stress manifests itself in the worse ways.

Our bodies are only designed to handle acute stress such as when a Deer jumps out in front of us. We are not set up to handle Chronic stress day after day.

Save yourself. Get away. Go to a friend's, a supportive family member's home, or just get away and go somewhere to find some solace and gather yourself.

You need to stop the constant stress and heartache, and yes, your heart can break in more ways then one.

You need to just get away, and if marriage is this painful, you should consider ending it. This is not a healthy, nor is it an arena to be nurtured with harmony and peace. Do the right thing and get away for awhile until you can at least be able to think clearly and get to where you can have a game plan. This is no way to live.

Answer 6

Yes, I literally did feel my heart break and it was the worst feeling ever. It really does hit you right in the heart and it does make the chest ache with pain. It hurts so much because when you get married you honestly believe and expect that this person you chose to spend the rest of your life with will love, honor and cherish you. When this doesn't end up happening; it is just the ultimate dissapointment and is a horribly sad feeling.

Answer 7

Only emotionally and only for as long as you let the feeling continue to own .If you are home when you sad cry it out. Go to your bed cry it all the way out. Hold the part of your body that is hurting, usually your stomach or your heart or your throat. It should help. If you are out in public use It is only a feeling , it will go away. Fact do not but feelings do. Then when you are home deal with the feeling as mentioned above. Good luck. Do you have children" if not why put up with it.

Answer 8

I completely understand how you feel, I've recently experienced chest pains and can't sleep in night. When you love someone so much and you want to make it work it's hurts. I know you feel like giving up, but I saw try once more. Tell him that you and him are not boyfriend and girlfriend, but husband and wife. When you marry someone you have to have open communication from both people. Marriage is about listening and compromising. If that doesn't work, you have to do whats best for you. You don't want to make yourself sick, your to young to be so stress out, life is so short and you always want to make the best of it. Be strong and pray about. If he truly loves you, he will try to work with you to make things better. Good-luck!!!

Answer 9

It is stress. I had a relationship like that and it does wear you down. My bf would not listen to anything I had to say and would always treat me like crap. So I left him saying I couldn't handle it anymore.
We got back together 2 weeks later with him realising how bad the relationship was because of him. Now he really is the perfect man I always knew he was.
I also realised that I needed to be nicer when I spoke to him or raised issues I had - cos if you come across agressive or nasty then men get angry and defensive.
Stress comes in many forms and it is generally different in everyone.
I can't eat either when I am emotionally stressed.
Go to the doctor to be sure and think about if you really want your husband in your life, then talk to him about it and see if what you both individually want can be achieved together.

Answer 10

Yeah, I've been there. Lately I've been trying to be better to him and not so self absorbed. I've been trying to be positive, whereas before I was always on the lookout like a hawk and creating HUGE drama over every little thing he did wrong. I'm more forgiving and more accepting of who he is.

One day I realized it's really lame for me to be so upset with him because he comes home late that I just pick at him when the reason I'm upset is because I love him and just want to spend time with him. The whole point is that he's awesome and I just want to be with him, so fighting just doesn't make sense.

I hope this helps. Try to be more accepting and positive overall and limit the fights.

Answer 11

It hurts because you had expectations going into the marriage of a happy successful family and it isn't working and you have developed a communication pattern that completely shuts down any attempt to turn things around. I almost never recommend counseling on here, but you need a way to communicate with eachother that both clears the air and maintains the dignity of the other person. Good luck and take care.