The Law? Doesnt work. There is no justice.?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been together for 1year. We both are employed keep good jobs, but are young. We pay bills maintain and support each other. My boyfriend has a temper problem he always has. Until recently he had never reacted on me. We seperated, and recently explored other people. I admitted for once he wasnt the only one intrested in someone else. And he went crazy on me. 3 stitches I have. The DA wants me to press charges. I want him to get help prison will not help him and I am more than sure his next girlfriend will experience the same if he doesnt learn how to control his anger. I am not afraid of him. He knows he was wrong and sits in a jail with his destiny in my hands. He admits to me he didnt realize what happened until my blood covered his hands, and barely remembers. What is his problem and how can he get help and will I get in trouble for not co-operating with the DA? I love him enough to kno he lost it and kno he needs help but how do I get him help without jailtime

Answer 1

im sorry to say this but you DO need to press charges and he needs to realize there are consequences for his actions.I was in a 7 yr relationship full of every kind of abuse you could think of.He was a good man at one point too but that one time i let him get away with hitting me ....it never stopped.he would change for a while to make it seem like he cared but then hed turn around and start all over again.Hes had every kind of help you could think of.Anger management AA..etc..He went to his AA meetings drunk!!!He had a bad temper too.I tried SOOOOO hard to help him but you know what.....you cant help a person,they have to help themselves.If he sits in jail and thinks about what he did maybe that will help him and maybe it wont.All i know is it wont change...it only gets worse BELIEVE ME.Just the other day i finally left him and he threatened to kill me and my kids and he broke all my house windows.Now hes on the run from the police i dont feel safe at all!!!Im telling you PLEASE LISTEN TO ME....It only GETS WORSE.Once you show him he has the upper hand and dont press charges hes ganna think he can always do it and next time its ganna be more then a couple stitches.This man literally beat me to the ground,stomping on my back while i was pregnant with his kiid!!Just press charges and move on.

Answer 2

The DA cannot force you to press charges. However, you may have a bargaining chip here. A lawyer could help best, but it can be done without one. Agree to NOT press charges as long as your (ex)boyfriend signs into an anger management program, either inpatient or outpatient. If he refuses, file the charges. It may seem cruel, but if he refuses, maybe prision time is the best for him to seriously think about what he has done and hopefully does not make that mistake again. You cannot control him, if he does not want help, you cannot force him. As long as you know the potential is there for more violence, I would exercise caution with any further friendship with this man. At the very least, though, make him pay for any medical expences you have from this incident.

Answer 3

Depending on what state you're in and what kind of assault charge he got, he won't go to prison unless he maimed you. He may do jail time.

While in jail, he can get anger management classes. In fact, the DA can request it. Think about it: if he returned home and didn't get help, he could do the same thing to you again if he got irrationally angry. Hitting isn't an acceptable response when someone says something you don't like.

Your former boyfriend needs help. It's up to you whether or not you press charges, but he doesn't have to listen to you if you just ask him to get help on his own. He does have to listen to the court.

Answer 4

ASk the DA if anger managment is an option..... Stand firm on the fact that you insist on the guy doing at least a yr of it.... explain to the DA that you are the one who was abused and that you feel jail is the wrong place to work his anger out, but that you would prefer him getting the help he needs thru an intense anger managment course...... Not sure about the legal ramifications of not cooperating with the DA, but I think if you walk in as an IN CONTROL young woman, state your case with calm and steadfast maturity you might be surprised at what will happen......God bless

Answer 5

This seems like a brutal assault. U don't want to make up excuses for some one that cause you to have stitches at their bad expression of uncontrolled anger. Leaving someone agreeing to it or not does not give a cart blanch on beating them up, your boy friend has to learn that he crossed way over the line and seemly lucky that he has an understanding girlfriend. let the wheels of justice spin toward him and he will be a better person if he developer a respect for the law and to not mess with it or you, cooperate with the DA and tell them your concerns, let them know you would like a outreach program rather than incarceration. Pray for him!

Answer 6

where i live once the law is called you dont have to press charges they do it for you because so many women would call and risk the lives of police rescue ect and then and hr later would come bale the jerk out of jail... look i understand you have feelings for this man but he hit you somone he is supose to love so whatever he gets he deserves for real let him pay for his actions now and learn a lesson because if you let him go then what has he learned? only that he can get away with it and guess what the next girl may not be able to be fixed with just stiches. when you go to court ask the judg to help him tell the judge what you said her that you want him to be punished but only to get him help you want him to take anger management ect and they prob will send him to that anyway... good luck and im glad to here that you are not taking his side and saying that is ok he hit you and please dont go back to him either

Answer 7

If he has never been in trouble before for something like this. the judge may order angry management class..if he has been in trouble he could get time...I tell you what 16 yrs ago when I was 21 I had a very bad temper and would fight at the drop of a hat..
I came very close to hitting the wife...because she threw a cup full of grain and hit me when we were arguing...I asked her never do that again....and I cried because I almost hit her...I was ashamed of what I almost did...be the 16 yrs we have been together I have never touched her...if he has legal counsel ask him ask the judge for help...not jail...ok

Answer 8

Ask them to make an exception. Ask for them to give him anger management and do community service. But he really does need to spend a little time in jail, that way he can think about what he did to you. No girl deserves to be treated like that. This is also a big decision for you to make for his new girlfriend. Will she go through the same thing you did?

Answer 9

See if he can do anger management classes instead of jail time, but ask his defense lawyer instead. DA's get brownie points for convictions.

Trust me, where we are at (in the boonies with trailer trash EVERYWHERE), the judge and the cops are all corrupt. They got so many back deals going it's pathetic. We got broke into a few weeks ago, and the cops wouldn't even show up. Lucky we don't have anything to steal, but they busted our window out.

Answer 10

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