I am at a loss now... we have been 2gether 9yrs, have 4yo and 10week old boys. i am 31 slim, attractive, confident and yet his problem is tearing my heart out. he refuses to see it as a problem, its my problem and the time has come for me to deal with it... i CANT! i have tried to ignore over the years, he stops only to start again 6months later. i have been brave enough to have it out with him lately, and he tells me that its normal and that i get a grip because he wont change. i havent had sex since my 2month old was conceived... he gets on the net the very second he knows i am busy or out of the house, and i cant handle it anymore! i DO NOT want to separate, but cant see any other option. we have a very busy business which i run and he works, my 4yo adores his dad, as he is a brilliant father and i dont want to be single mum!! he thinks i need counselling to deal with my jealousy?????!!!!! i know that his use is over the top, but what do i do?
2007-02-27 14:49:41 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
its been nearly a year since anything went on ther! he cant when i am pregnant apparently.... but i have registered my complaint since the birth(caesarian!) and he said that he couldnt wait to get intimate again, but now i sit here twiddling thumbs waiting for some passion..... i can not have sex with him when i know he has been looking at that crap (everyday!) and he hasnt made any moves any way!!!!! i want to fix this, but i dont know how! Thanks for your answers, keep em coming!
2007-02-27 15:49:55 · update #1
Your husband has a sexual addiction and his behaviors are not within normal limits. There are multiple things that he needs but none of it matters as it's HIM that has to come to that conclusion. All you can do is decide how you are going to respond. There are some support groups that you can become involved in, but the main one is s-anon and they generally have weekly meetings allover the country. What your husband is doing has nothing to do with your appearance or how frequent you and he have sexual relations. Don't let anyone tell you anything differently as they are 100% wrong. You have to look out for you and determine how much you will tolerate. His behavior is not going to change, regardless of what you say or do, until he decides to put an end to it and even then...it's an uphill battle until the addiction is under control. I know you are feeling like your life is a roller coaster and my heart goes out to you. I've been in your shoes and they're not a comfortable fit. Please get the help you need. I am not going to say that you need to leave him...but I will say that your only options are deciding to ignore his behavior and tolerate it...or end the relationship. Everything else about what he is doing is out of your control. God Bless you and you children.
2007-02-27 15:21:29 · answer #1 · answered by Michele D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said it's been 2 months since you had sex...he needs another out let that why he is doing that...he could be out screwing around with another woman in the flesh but he is at home..many men do look at porn partly do to not getting enough at home...I don't hardly look at it..and have not for a long time because the wife and I have a great sex life...we have 2 kids...she works over 40 a week I do to...we also run a small business also...there is always time to make love if you try.. and we do to...we try to make love 2-3 times per week...
2007-02-27 15:16:44 · answer #2 · answered by hononegah1988 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am a man and I like to howel at that stuff once in a blue(very blue) moon. I worked w/a guy who sounds like your husband and sadly it was sick. I only wish I had a wife like you-you sound beautiful and I mean that in several ways looks - personality - heart. I only wish we could talk some how, I know I could help you if only to listen. I dont see the attraction in porn-you can't touch it but it is an addiction. My other half is always telling me I need help-haha-thats another story-wish we could talk-if you figure out a way-let me know. They call me handiest
2007-02-28 02:29:27 · answer #3 · answered by handiest11 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How is your sex life? Usually there's a direct connection between porn and your sex life. Obviously, you said it's been a while. You might need to pick it up in that area, fulfill his fantasies that he has, and give him all, if not more than he can handle.
I'll bet that does the trick. but you have to put in the work.
2007-02-27 15:01:22 · answer #4 · answered by WestCoastin4Life 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry to have to say this: your going have to do the one thing you don't want to do, start separation, get the house and child support and put him in a bind, then tell his porn or you, you need to take control, or lose the loser
2007-02-27 15:04:43 · answer #5 · answered by robert m 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋