I wrote something like:
Entertainment plays a big role in our lives. Whenever we need to we need to relax we watch football, basketball, baseball and so on
on TV. So it's important to take part in considering whether the professional atheltes should have a salary cap or not. In that sense it's an issue.
Is there any grammar errors? Can you point out and correct that? Thanks a lot in advance.
2007-02-27 14:24:47 · 8 answers · asked by Narmandakh K 1 in Education & Reference ➔ Homework Help
Entertainment plays a big role in our lives. Whenever we need to relax, we watch football, basketball, baseball and other sports
on TV. Therefore it's important to take part in considering whether professional athletes need to have a salary cap or not. In that sense it's an issue.
2007-02-27 14:33:19 · answer #1 · answered by help please? =P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fixed to my knowing: (grammatical only)
Entertainment plays a big role in our lives. Whenever we need to relax we watch football, basketball, baseball and so on
on TV. It is important to take part in considering whether the professional athletes should have a salary cap or not. In that sense, it's an issue.
2007-02-27 22:36:29 · answer #2 · answered by prisonsong91 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Entertainment plays a major role in the modern American life, for instance football, baseball, and other sports on television help many Americans relax. In my opinion, because of this, it is important to take part in considering whether the the professional atheltes should have a salary cap.
the original paragragh was fine grammer wise except i would change TV to television.and also take out "and so on" and "or not"
2007-02-27 22:35:45 · answer #3 · answered by limegreen1@sbcglobal.net 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Entertainment plays a big role in our lives. Whenever we need to relax, we watch football, basketball, baseball, and such
on TV, so it's important to take part in considering whether professional athletes should have a salary cap or not. In that sense, it's an issue.
^^^ My edited version
Things I changed:
I deleted a repeating "we need to"
I placed a comma after to and after baseball
I changed so on to such, so that there wasn't two "on"s in a row
I changed the period before so into a comma
I eliminated the word the infront of professional athletes
Athletes was spelt incorrectly
I placed a comma after sense
2007-02-27 22:35:22 · answer #4 · answered by Stephanie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Entertainment plays a big role in our lives. Whenever we need to relax, we watch football, basketball, baseball, etc...on tv. It's important to consider the entertainment and relaxation value of professional athletes when considering a salary cap.
I hope this helps.
2007-02-27 22:35:37 · answer #5 · answered by kmv 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would write it as
Entertainment plays a major (don't use big) role in Americans' lives. (don't use our either). Whenever people want to relax, we would watch different types of sports on television. Therefore, it is important to consider whether professional atheltes should have a salary cap or not.
2007-02-27 22:33:29 · answer #6 · answered by asiduhagu 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whenever we need to, (insert comma here) (also delete the second "we need to " -you typed that in twice)
football, basketball, baseball, and many other sports(get rid of the "and so on") on television.(spell it out.)
(Get rid of So at the beginning of the next sentence) It's important to take part in considering whether (get rid of "the") professional athletes should have a salary cap or not. In that sense, (insert comma) it is an issue.
2007-02-27 22:34:17 · answer #7 · answered by zoogrl2001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
On the second sentence, you need to take out the second "we need to"
I would take out "and so on on TV" and say "football, basketball, or baseball." The extra words just make your writing too broad.
Comma after "So"
Athletes is misspelled.
If this is an essay, you probably don't want to use any contractions (it's). It is considered informal.
2007-02-27 22:39:28 · answer #8 · answered by nadrojchik21 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋