my baby is 6 months- won't sleep in crib!?

Question

I have a wonderful 6 month old baby boy. He used to sleep in his crib when he was tiny, but now refuses! He sleeps in bed with me and my husband and wakes up numerous times during the night to nurse. If I don't nurse him or try to get him to sleep in the crib, he screams bloody murder :( In some ways I like the closeness of sleeping with him, but I'm just so exhausted from waking up all night and wish he would sleep through the night. Also I would like to just sleep with my husband! Are there any alternatives to letting him "cry it out"? I can't do that to him, it doesn't seem fair after letting him sleep with me for so long. He's a HUGE baby, so I know he definitely does not need to nurse all night long. Please pleaaase help! thank you,
- desperate momma

Answer 1

Oh momma... I so sympathize with you. My son was the same way. Refused to sleep in his crib early and a bed. He preferred to sleep in mom and dad's bed. We let this go on forever it seemed... but he was so cute and we loved him so much! Anyway, try not to stress. Your baby is ready to stop breastfeeding and he's ready to sleep in his own bed. But that's easier said then done when you love them as much as you obviously do. So, take it one step at a time. Stop the breastfeeding first. Stay strong and be firm. Enough is enough. You need your rest! Once that cycle has broken, start working on getting him to sleep in his own room. Also, one thing I know is true. These years go by so fast. My baby boy is 21 now!! I'd take those exhausting years back in a blink of an eye if I could.

Answer 2

I'm going to play devil's advocate here. There are rock-solid studies that show that when infants get the closeness they need from their parents, they will be more independent and secure as adults. If they always have what they need, they won't want anything. I'm not saying spoil your baby, but if your infant needs you to sleep, why not give him that. A crying baby's blood pressure rises too high to be safe. I find it's easier to put a baby in your bed than get up 3 or 4 times during the night, nurse and try to put the baby back down...if he's lying next to you, you don't have to get up and disrupt everyone else in the house.

I have an 8 month old. I co-slept with him until he was 6 months old. My husband basically said that he had to go in to his own bed. My pediatrician told me to let him cry it out and that's all my husband had to hear. The dr told us by the 3rd night the crying will stop. Well, it's been 2 months and he still cries some nights. If this wasn't putting such a strain on my marriage, my son would be with me. I do have to say that I stopped nursing at night. He eats for the last time at 8:00 and then I don't nurse him again until 6:00. I do like having my bed back, but it's still really hard. The good thing is that on the nights he does cry, he sleeps straight through, he's that tired from getting himself all worked up. If you do let him cry it out, make sure you go in his room every 10 minutes to let him know you are there and you love him. Also, have an evening routine....my son knows that after his bath, he gets nursed and he's falling asleep by 8:05 every single night.

Hope this helped...but I probably just got you more confused. Feel free to e-mail [e-mail].....I go to a great mom's group and have gained TONS of tips from them!

Answer 3

I am going through the same thing. Our son is 4 months. We decided to try the doctors suggestion and do the "Cry it out". Some points I'd like to share.

1. He no longer needs to feed at night. He nurses to pacify himself. His doc said there is no nutitional or medical need to feed him.

2. He is not crying from pain or need or fear. It's separation anxiety and the fact that he doesn't know how to put himself to sleep.

3. My mom and just about everyone I talk to said they had to do the same thing.

4. The first night was the hardest. I cried too.

5. It's better now. After a few nights of crying off and on, he now sleeps in his crib for 6 hours without crying.

My son is 4 months old and weighs 15 pounds. He is breastfed and bottle fed.. and is already eating cereal. He gets a little cereal feeding around 8, then changed and breastfed at 9:30, I tell him he's a good baby, tell him I love him, read a story if needed, and put him to bed.

I just put him down, he rubbed his eyes, and not a peep since! Whoo-hoo! Last night he cried for 30 minutes before going to sleep. So each night has been better than the one before! Now I need to go get my sleep.

Good luck! I am telling you that the cry it out is the ONLY way you are going to make any changes. We tried other things and it just didn't work.

Answer 4

Of course there are other methods for cry it out. I don't agree with cry it out/controlled crying etc. I have never and will never let my kids cry it out. EVER.

Could you put a little mattress beside your bed so your son can sleep on that. Then he'll be close enough to you but far enough away that you can sleep better.

You can also use the seperation technique. Put him in his crib and sit beside him. Rub his back and use the "shhhhhhhh" noise until he falls asleep. Do that for a few days. Then don't rub his back but use the "shhhhh" noise until he's asleep. Do that for a few days. Then dont' shh or rub his back, just sit beside his crib until he's asleep. Then each day move your chair farther and farther towards the door until your out the door. You have to go slowly so he gets used to the change though.

You really can't expect immediate results. He's used to cosleeping and nursing to sleep. 6 months is actually fairly young to be without nursing at night. Most parents who tell you that he doesn't need the night time feedings are formula feeders. Formula fills up more than breastmilk. Breastmilk is the perfect food for your little one and it's easier and quicker digested by your baby which means he will get up more often.

Good for you for not letting him cry it out. Your doing good. Email if you have any questions.

Answer 5

http://www.condell.org/NewLifeNews/NewAdditionOct-05/newlifenews3.ph

I had the same problem with mine up until 7 months. This site tells a bit about Dr. Richard Feber who saved my life, but with a price of dealing with the screaming for a while. But after reading his book and giving it a try my baby was sleeping through the night without breastfeeding at all by the end of the week! From what I could understand, my baby was waking up from a series of what he understood to be naps. The feedings were what was messing him up. Normally when he would awake from a nap he was feed. So naturally when he awoke in the night, he assumed he was going to feed. And then 3 hours from then he would wake up and want to be feed and this goes on and on all night long!! Cutting the feedings down gradually throughout the week weened him from the notion that feedings occured during the night. It was also helpful to put him to bed with the same objects he could become familiar with bedtime. He has a special blanket that he has developed to nursing too, he own way to self soothe himself to sleep. I know how hard it is to let them cry, but from my experience this wont just stop. Its either a week from hell and sleep or continue on this wreckless night fumble! Check out Dr. Feber, he saved my sleep!!

Answer 6

I can't believe the bad advice you are getting, even if you were to night wean him and you were to get him out of your bed only 16%[1] of 6 months old sleep through the night and 17% wake more than once ranging from 2-8 times[1]. Or "Frequent night waking that disturbs parents is common from 4-12 months (12.7% disturb their parents 3 or more times every night). "[2]

So you need to ask yourself if the night waking is the problem, the location of his sleep, or the nursing. Because frankly you *may* be able to fix one and that's the location. It *may* be possible to night wean, but you also need to accept that your baby is only capable of eating so much in one sitting and it may not, in fact, be possible for him to consume enough during the day. In addition as babies become more active they often eat less during the day and more at night, this is normal.

There are plenty of no-cry sleep solutions:
This is the most popular:
http://www.kellymom.com/pantley/index.html
though I have to tell you it didn't work for me. The only thing worse than waking up every hour is waking up every hour and spending a half hour fighting to get a baby to fall asleep in the "proper" way. I only started this because he seemed to be developmentally ready to move back to the crib. After I stopped he did continue to move to the crib, he didn't during the "training". However it has worked for many women

Work with your child, not against them. Your heart will tell you what is best, but you need to really LISTEN to yourself not what everyone and every book says.

Answer 7

It sounds like he's using nursing as a way to fall asleep. Try eliminating the night time feedings first then work on getting him out of your bed and back into his crib. My son's pediatrician told me that a 6 month old does not need any night time feedings. Good luck.

Answer 8

Where does the baby nap during the day? If he is not napping in his crib, he should start. That way it is a place he associates with sleeping. Try starting a new bedtime routine which ends with him going to his crib for bedtime as opposed to your bed. I didn't like the 'cry it out' method either with my boys, but in the end, that's what it came down to. At 6 months he shouldn't need to eat at all at night. Before you quit on him cold turkey, try eliminating all but one midnight feeding for about a week and then cut that one out too. Stick to your guns and he will be weaned and sleeping alone in no time. Good luck!

Answer 9

It's going to be tough, but you know what you need to do. Let him cry it out. It'll only take a couple of nights for a baby this little to get the hint. I know of people who have had their 3 month olds fall asleep on their own and sleep through. Since you are breast feeding, I would imagine that he still needs to eat during the night even though he's big. Maybe just one feeding? I'd put him to bed around 9 or so, feed him around 1, and then again at 6 or so. He might even go back to sleep for a couple of hours for you. I really don't see any alternative to letting him cry it out. This will help you later on. Look at the post by the woman whose 17 month old still gets up every 2 or 3 hours and refuses to sleep on her own. You don't want to be at that point down the road. Best of luck!

Answer 10

Who is the boss? A six month old cannot "refuse" anything. You as a mother can "allow" or "give in"....but an infant cannot "refuse". It is actually EXTREMELY dangerous for you and your husband to be sleeping with a six month old baby in bed. Did you not watch Dr. Baden episode when the mother accidentally put her arm over the baby or rolled over on it and it stopped breathing? That ought to be incentive for you to get that baby in a crib. Further, if he is nursing that much YOU are nursing him. It is also not healthy for him to be HUGE as you say.