My friend has had the same boyfriend all year long. But he is really mean to me and some of my other friends, he calls us names and shoves us. I have already asked my friend to tell him to be nicer, and usually when I try to start a friendly conversation about how he treats me, my friend turns it in to a fight. This usually happens at least once a month. Lately, my friend has been pretty much ignoring me and not caring. So, now we are fighting (again) over e-mail. I don't know what to do anymore, I like my friend and I still want to be friends with her but I can't live with her boy friend. I try to ignore him but it never works... help?
2007-02-27 13:57:46 · 8 answers · asked by Sandy 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Thanks for all of your help!
2007-02-27 14:36:39 · update #1
Rules of Girlsfriend vs Boyfriend
Tell you friend once - don't bring it back up - she's aware of it.
She will defend him (and lean toward him) if you keep brining it up.
IF you don't bring it up anymore - it's in her court and either she'll start defending you or she'll ignore it.
IF she defends you - don't butte in - leave her to her own words.
IF she ignores it - find alternative things to do when she is with him. When she ask if you aren't hanging w/her because of him - politely say - I'm not comfortable around him; and since I don't want you to feel uncomfortable too; I'll do this or that instead. Call me when you want us (you and me) to hang out ) I miss you and could use some quality girl time.
Then it's all up to her - if she dumps you - chances are she'll need you when her mean boyfriend runs off all her friends and she realizes it - so don't burn the bridge; and leave a welcome mat at the door.
good luck
Sadi
2007-02-27 14:08:50 · answer #1 · answered by Sadi 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow...you seem like a pretty cool friend to discuss you feelings instead of throwing in the bag. She is lucky to have you. You have done nothing wrong. You seem to have done all the right things. 1) talking it over the problems, 2) again talking about the same problem as before. Once her boyfriend started the trash talking and shoving, I probably would have lost it. If there are repeated disagreements btw. you and your friend. Maybe you need a breather from her and vice versa. If she is a true friend, she should respect your concerns and ask lover boy to cool it with you and the remaining friends that she have (for now). And you need to let them be a couple and hang out only with her and not her and him. This could help with the tension of you and her man. Or it could probably push your friendship further away until she can pull herself together (meaning -- when her senses finally come back to reality).
2007-02-27 14:20:52 · answer #2 · answered by DJ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She needs to decide if she would take a boyfriend over a friend, and if she takes her bf then she is LOW and not a good friend in the first place. Friends NEVER do that to eachother, Friends come before boyfriends ALWAYS NO MATTER WHAT!! TELL HER THAT....SHE NEEDS TO WAKE UP AND OPEN HER EYES AND LISTENT O WHAT UR TELLING HER.
2007-02-27 14:03:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It really fraustrates me when girls put some transient guy before their friends, call it P Power. Thre is nto a lot you can do to change her behavior, lets hope she seems the light and kicks him into touch.
2007-02-27 14:03:33 · answer #4 · answered by beachloveric 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
youre friend is going out with a low life .any man who shove a lady is a low life and if your friend cant control the pig then its time for a real friend i bit he hit her too and she scare of him just wait intell she called you for help
good luck
2007-02-27 14:11:15 · answer #5 · answered by nightman122554 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i am sorry 4 u,
honestly that is what i am fear about my best friend of mine.
afraid to lose.
What can i answer is ur love ,please, knows no bound.
feel great to give her the love, even she did ignore u, jz think that she also loves u. she jz got another commitment.
Love really sounds giving, not taking.
2007-02-27 14:05:58 · answer #6 · answered by middle of mind 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell her to tell her boyfriend and you tell her to be nicer and tell her to think it too.What if you had a boyfriend and the same problem was there too,but the way around.What will she do?
2007-02-27 14:08:47 · answer #7 · answered by Maria D 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sacrafices must be made! i say bail on her if she wont listen then when she brakes up with him she'll go back to you!
2007-02-27 14:13:24 · answer #8 · answered by Reaper G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋