My ex and I broke up a few months ago, but we are on good terms. We never fought (argued yes, but not actually had a big fight) or called each other names during or after the relationship. We never disrespected each other in public nor spread rumors about each other, at least to my knowledge. The places where we work is down the street from each other and our employers work together and thus, we still talk to each other (just small talk, 5 mins max) every week. Why we broke up- well that is another story altogether, but for awhile (about 2 months) I avoided him and didn't even tell him that I was pregnant even though he said that he once had a dream that I was pregnant. Well, I had met with a Doctor who confirmed that I had a miscarriage shortly after we broke up (and am still having another check-up soon). I know that it is in the past but I just have this strong temptation to tell him although we are on good terms and seem to be apparently hanging in there in our current lives.
2007-02-27
13:25:38
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16 answers
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asked by
purringout
3
in
Family & Relationships
➔ Other - Family & Relationships
By the way, mature answers preferred.
2007-02-27
13:25:56 ·
update #1
You know, after a break-up sometimes your mind is not in the right place- I was very confused during the times when I showed pregnancy symptoms, I knew that we were not meant to be together but at the same time I didn't want to seem like I was going to use this baby as a way to get him back, I'd only want to get him back if we loved each other out of free will and not mainly because of obligation, you know?But something in me is telling me I should let him know, I am just trying to figure out if it is the right thing to do.
2007-02-27
13:33:14 ·
update #2
By the way I didn't tell anyone else...just between me and the Doctors... I know it's awkward but that is why I am asking online... lol...
2007-02-27
13:35:16 ·
update #3
Just wanted to add (lol) my intention is not to reunite with my ex or to be a couple again, it's just the fact of merely telling him the truth.
2007-02-27
13:36:46 ·
update #4
Kind of a sticky situation huh?? If it were me, I would be tempted as well, but I don't think I'd be doing it for the right reason. It might be a stab to him as to "what COULD have been." That's in the past and really, what would be accomplished by telling him? It also depends on the reason you broke up in the first place.
Do you think it's nessasary to tell him? Of course, it was his, but at the same time, this may hurt him if you DON'T tell him and he finds out second hand....you don't want that to happen either. Since you're on friendly terms, I don't think it would be inappropriate for you to ask him for a half hour of his time to go for a "friendly coffee" and tell him. Be sure to tell him you reasoning for telling him so that he doesn't think it's a "lure" to get him back and feel sorry for you.
This is a very tough call. Hope you make the right decision!
Good Luck and I'm so sorry for your loss. :o(
2007-02-27 13:50:16
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answer #1
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answered by Anonymous
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I really can't answer this question for you. I guess it would depend on what your reasons would be for telling him. I would ask myself these questions: What were you planning on doing if you didn't have a miscarriage? Are you hoping to get back together with him? Are you hoping that telling him will alleviate some of your sadness?
You just have to look at the reasons you have a "strong temptation" to tell him. Just make sure they're not selfish reasons.
I'm sorry you're going through this.
2007-02-27 13:32:17
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answer #2
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answered by It's Me 3
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Personally, my thought would be he doesn't need to know. You never told him you were pregnant in the first place so why tell him you lost the baby??
What good would it do? Okay so he had a dream you were pregnant but you never confirmed it to him that you were.... so why after breaking up tell him you were pregnant but you lost the baby? I don't see the point to it if he never knew about the pregnancy in the first place.
2007-02-27 13:30:41
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answer #3
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answered by jessicadiamond_4einc 4
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Someone once said, "Honesty is the best policy." Best u tell him than keeping the lid on. It will wear u out as u keep worrying. U will also find yourself feeling far better sharing your worry, as he was part of this whole saga. Best u be sincere in your presentation.
2007-02-27 13:41:43
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answer #4
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answered by Maau 1
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Of course whether you tell him or not is entirely up to you but i would think about it if I were you. would it be too awkward afterwardds when your with him or do you feel your relationship is close that he will be ok with it. Guys are strange sometimes about things like that. So please give it alot of thought,. remember sometimes silence is golden. good luck to you bettyk
2007-02-27 13:35:03
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answer #5
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answered by elisayn 5
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Yes you should tell him, I think he needs to know. Even though it was a miscarriage, he needs to know that you were pregnant for him and could of have his baby.
2007-02-27 13:31:30
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answer #6
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answered by N 2
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It's up to you, if you think you two still have a chance, this might bring you closer together. I would tell him if I were you, I think he has a right to know if it was his child. Good Luck hon!
2007-02-27 13:29:58
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answer #7
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answered by Anonymous
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Definitely,you should tell him,I think he should know even though you two are no longer together.it may hurt him,but from the beginning he needs to know the truth.
2007-02-27 13:29:22
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answer #8
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answered by Anonymous
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It is his business, and if you still trust him, then more power to you! I'm sure he would like to know. Good luck!
2007-02-27 13:29:18
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answer #9
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answered by Anonymous
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well yes he should know that you two was going to have a kid even thou you had a miscarrage. you should tell him
2007-02-27 13:31:27
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answer #10
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answered by BriBri 3
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