I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 years. He is my soulmate and has often told me I am his. I want to marry him someday but there is a slight problem. He is Jewish and I am not and do not want to convert. Neither of us is very religious/spiritual but his parents are. I know his mother would want me to convert, but he doesn't seem to care (other than for cultural purposes). We have not really spoken of marriage in almost a year since that last casual concersation when I told him I didn't want to convert. How do I bring up the subject again without ticking him off, and how do I determine if he would still wants to marry me either way? I don't want to somehow push him away.
2007-02-27 13:15:37 · 7 answers · asked by blue_eclipse05 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If he love's you, it shouldn't matter ! If need be you can have a civil ceremony and a regular reception afterwards.
Just ask him straight out ! Again, if he loves you, he cares about you, so you wouldn't be pushing him away. Tell him your true feelings.
Love always finds a way.
2007-02-27 13:22:37 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are truely soul-mates there is nothing you could do that would push him away. So what if he get's ticked off..he'll live. You can't predict or control his behavior nor should you try. This is a very common tale between people of different faiths. Obviously his parents have made their strong opinion clear... this will be a true test of your relationship on many levels. You mentioned your boyfriend (unlike his over bearing parents) isn't all that religious or spiritual. I have a girfriend who's Jewish and her inlaws would love for her to convert to Christianity..they have a right to hope for what they want... but nobody has the right to push. Bottom line is... it really isn't any of their business and they can't control what is or isn't meant to be. They could make it very uncomfortable for your boyfriend though ... which can suck and he will find out how strong he is inside. Never be afraid to be honest w/ him regardless of whether or not it starts an argument. Some of the best solutions come from a good healthy argument or should I say debate. lol Never run from honesty. Whats meant to be will prevaile. And ABOVE ALL ELSE.. never do anything that makes you uncomfortable or goes against your own principals...whether that be converting or anything else for that matter. You will have to live with the decision you make and when someone loves you..they don't ask you to do something that makes you uncomfotable. If you do end up getting married to this guy, it will be uncomfortable enough just visiting your IN-LAWS! LOL
2007-02-27 21:31:37 · answer #2 · answered by Jennifer J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You won't like my answer, but unless there are major changes, it is doomed. When children are born, you will find out just how miserable life can be. Your parents-in-law will most likely be very upset that their grandchildren won't be Jewish, and your husband will (perhaps) one day resent you for halting the Jewishness from your children's generation onward. Although both you and your boyfriend aren't religious now, you can't predict the future. I'm not trying to be glib about this at all, but I'd seriously suggest you break it off before more heartbreak occurs.
2007-03-02 13:17:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
actually the problem you face isn't simply what to do about getting married, it will continue AFTER you are married....and just wait till you have kids, a LOT of people who never felt that religion was important to them change their mind when they have kids (trust me on this one.). Sooooo....I think you really need to talk this over, it's more than just converting for the wedding or not....and if this discussion pushes him away, then maybe you shouldn't be considering him as marriage material anyway.
2007-02-27 21:32:31 · answer #4 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think after 2 years, you're entitled to talk directly about your potential future together and discuss the possibility of marriage-- too bad if he gets ticked off- you're investing your time and emotions in a person and deserve to know where he sees you in the future.
If his religion meant anything to him, he would have stuck to dating Jewish girls. His parents might have a problem with his choice, and he'll either listen to them, or not. If you do marry him, get premarital counseling because religion is a tough issue for many couples.
2007-02-27 21:21:51 · answer #5 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
compromise with him maybe have the wedding at your religous place and the wedding party with his faith. i know u dont want to blatenly bring up the subject but find a place that you can be alone with him maybe then u guys can get to talking
2007-02-27 21:22:46 · answer #6 · answered by random at its finest 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Religion sucks big green donkey wiener. Almost as bad as marriage.
I would not do anything if I felt forced to do it.
2007-02-27 21:20:28 · answer #7 · answered by Joe B 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋