i'am i wrong or right?

Question

i've been married 2 1/2 yrs and it's been hell.i've threw so much with my husband and had no one to talk turn to.last year i met this guy online when i was about to kill myself over a bad depression disorder i used to have.my husband was so mean to me and nice to everyone else and he's 11 yrs older than me.anyhoo this guy talked to me not in the way of trying to come in between my marriage but to save me from doing something that would hurt me the rest of my life.he's 24 and i'm 20 we connect in ways that me and husband don't.it's times i wanted to leave out of this marriage but all i got was physical fights just for wanting to get away from that.but this guy who i've only met online and in phone conversations was so real with me. i don't wanna fell like i'm making the wrong choice by leaving my husband,but i can't take being abused emotionally and physically.i also like this other guy but i'm affraid of my out come of doing something wrong.i really need help!

Answer 1

You need to take the other guy out of the equation. The last thing you should try is a rebound relationship.

Now that the guy is out of your thoughts--how is your relationship with your husband? You never fix problems in a marriage by turning outside the marriage. And you have to EARN your way out of this marriage. Have you given EVERYTHING, 100% of yourself into fixing this marriage? If you think back to your wedding day--if you had it to do all over again, would you?

There are lots of books on the topic--like Dr Phil's Relationship Rescue. But try to give everything into fixing this relationship. If he is a jerk and being with him is hell, he is abusive and you can't live with it anymore--yes by all means get out of the relationship. But make sure when you leave, it's over and you have no regrets, no thoughts on if you could have done more to save it, and without having an affair.

Then when you are ready to move on, if that guy still holds your interest then you can go for it but you are a long way from that now. You don't want a marriage with a guy who would have an affair with you anyway--cause if they do it with you, they will do it to you.

You got married very young and still aren't entirely grown up yet. I think back to how I was at 20 and can't believe the choices I made. You still have a lot of changes still to go through and in your life you will change from who you are now. Perhaps your husband and you matured at different rates and you are quite different now than the way you were 2 years ago. But that doesn't mean you have the right to betray those vows and abandon the "in good times and in bad". And 21 is very young to already have a divorce behind you as well. Marriage isn't 50-50; it's 100-100. If your marriage ends, make sure you can leave with your head held high.

Get Relationship Rescue and put all your effort into either fixing this marriage or earning your way out of it. But this guy has nothing to do with you being happy or miserable in your marriage.