You see, there's this woman at work that I HAVE to work with. There's no getting around it. Anyway, she's rude and unfriendly. I've tried to be nice to her, but it feels as though I'm kissing her "you know what" and I'm sick of it! I'm the "new" person on the job and I get along with everyone else. Any advice?? And no, I can't change jobs. This is my career and I like what I do. Jobs are scarce, so relocating is not an option at this time. Help.....
2007-02-27 12:59:06 · 9 answers · asked by JOURNEY 5 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Horrible for you. You haven't done anything wrong. But do you honestly believe that she will like you a lot more when you make a mistake? How does she treat others in her life? Come on, that's not why you're there! What do you care what her personal priorities are? They aren't yours. What are her professional priorities? Think about those, but not too much! Are you the only new person there? Is she responsible for training you? How are other new people treated, and how do they feel, is it a learning curve?
Look, the more people you know to speak to, the happier and more respected you will feel. It's brilliant that you feel you get along with all the others. Most people are not that lucky, so good for you that they like your pleasant manner. Do they like your work? My friend had a co-worker who was very nice to her, until she figured out that her boss was hearing all her good ideas from him, as his! He went to conferences, she switched jobs. Not because he was unpleasant, you understand! You have fresh new ideas, why shouldn't the ambitious people befriend you?
Maybe she feels that you are really good, and to be fair to you, she has to be cool and unfriendly towards you until she recommends you for promotion. Either way, she does not respect or confide in you. Until you have proved yourself. Or she could be lazy and dread that you are working smarter or harder than she is. Why worry about such questions? Do your best and enjoy what you do best.
Good friends are rare and worth keeping. Job friends are - um - a bit invisible when one of you takes another job. Be polite and open and friendly to your co-workers, but remember that some may well be acting, and may not like you at all. Or maybe you are new and they don't think you are competition. Hey, at least she's honest and open about it! Some day, if you still care, you'll be in a position to hear about it. Say every morning "She is not my friend, she is not my enemy. She has her own focus. I have yet to find mine."
When you have a bad day, or a headache, she's one less person you have to be nice to. Meanwhile, my advice is to be a negative in her company. Use the least possible words when you speak to her. Think, and do not automatically smile when she is there. Answer her pleasantly, but be cool, calm, with a quiet nod or firm shake of the head. Stick to what you first said. Don't bounce ideas off her. Speak well of her to others.
And go about your business. You are focusing on people who make you feel good, and you don't care either way where she is or how she feels.
I mean it. She might take you seriously if you stop smiling and hoping for a good word. Sounds as if she's out of stock anyway! You can't expect a pike to be a dolphin.
2007-02-27 13:54:19 · answer #1 · answered by WomanWhoReads 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't always get along with everybody you work with. I work with a woman(I'm not a sexist) that I get agitated with at times. But, I like my job and I figure I can stand her for a few hours out of every day. It just makes time to go home all the more worth waiting for.
2007-02-27 21:26:56 · answer #2 · answered by jorst 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to like her and she doesn't have to like you. Just do your job and she does hers and keep it all business-like. She's probably worried you'll replace her. A full staff is never a good sign...always means that someone else can pick up the extra slack until another person is hired.
Nevermind her, just do you job and do it well. DON"T GOSSIP no matter what you do...
2007-02-27 21:08:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you try talking to your co worker about how you feel.I know people are not mind readers maybe she thinks you are being rude and unfriendly.
2007-02-27 21:10:21 · answer #4 · answered by flower 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can always be friend with coworkers. There is no harm in it. In fact you must be friendly with every one. However you should be able keep aside emotion from profession. If some one is not friendly emotionally ignore him/her. Just interact the professional requirements only.
Also please remember not to look for meat from the place you earn bread.
2007-02-27 21:10:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to be friends just make sure that when you work with her stay professional. If you really want to get to her kill her with kindness. Don't stoop down to her level and be a jerk. Just talk only when necessary.
2007-02-27 21:07:12 · answer #6 · answered by mypassions4life 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Working with somebody doesn't mean you have to like them--it just means getting the job done. Do your best to get the job done, get a promotion, become her boss--then fire her @ s s!!!
2007-02-27 21:03:56 · answer #7 · answered by Holiday Magic 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Is it absolutely necessary for you to be friends with this woman?
If rudeness a moroseness is your only problem then be happy is not backstabbing, malice or worse, slander on her part.
2007-02-27 21:19:16 · answer #8 · answered by Freddy F 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
tell here
2007-02-27 21:06:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋