do you think its wrong..?

Question

i am 14 and i am pregnant. i have to make one of the biggest decisions of my life. i really have no clue what to do. do you think it would be wrong to have an abortion? having a baby is going to mess up my life so bad. if i had an abortion i know that would mean i would have to kill my baby but im not old enough to have and take care of a baby.
and its not like people won't be there helping me and everything because alot of people are going to be there for me. the daddy wants me to keep it. please just think about it.. if you were 14 and ended up pregnant what would you do. you really have to think about it. having a child is HUGE. i don't know what to do.
[by the way for all you people out there who are going to say that i should have thought about that before i had sex at the age 14. DON'T. i already know that. i was stupid and made a huge mistake but i can't do anything about it now]
i need to know what you would do if you were in my shoes.

adoption is not one of my choices...
if im going to give birth to the thing than i might as well keep it.

Answer 1

Are you sure you are pregnant? I read your question from yesterday and it said you are 16 days away from your period ???? How do you know you are pregnant?

Answer 2

Congratulations on your pregnancy! You are now a Mother no matter what your choice!

Dear, no one can tell you what to do. I can tell you that never once do I recommend abortion to my clients (I am a life coach to pregnant teens!). There is adoption (I have five birth children and foster/adoptive children), there are family members willing to take the child, etc. You have options other than abortion if you do not wish to keep this child!

I can tell by your comment you are not the type of person for abortion. You hold strong views, and I applaud you for knowing what you believe. Many people think abortion is an end and that is that. It is a life long decision, one you will live with forever.

So, you basically have a choice...do you give life to this child and let it become a blessing to someone else's life?
Or, do you not. No one can make the decision for you. Yes, keeping your blessing (no child is a mistake!!!) is an option, but if you feel you can not do that, don't feel abortion is the only other option. Only you can make this decision...don't let anyone influence you in what to do.

Remember, you were woman enough to get pregnant, and now you need to be woman enough to do what is best for both your child and you! Teen pregnancy is not the "end of the world" or the "end of you life." It is simply a change in direction! Stand strong! I would also recommened reading the book
"You look too young to be a Mother."
It is written a life coach to teens, and is full of stories of teen Mom's, many as young as you! I warn you, they all chose to keep their babies...but it is an incredible book!

Feel free to email me if you want to chat further! Again,
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 3

You are 14 years old. A pregnancy is awfully hard on a body that young; you're still growing. Not to mention what it would mean for you to have a child at 14. That's a long, tough row to hoe.
Only you can make your decision. Trust yourself, and think about what is really best for YOU first and foremost.
And think about what kind of life you can offer this baby now and for the next 18 years -- and what kind of life you could offer a planned, deeply desired child 15 or 20 years from now if you choose to give this baby up and wait to be a mommy until you are truly ready. After lots of thought (and prayer, if you pray), you might decide abortion is right thing for you to do. You might not. Either way, it's your decision to make, and you need to own that decision and never, ever let anyone put you down for it.
Finally, people on here will go on and on about abortion being murder, but that baby's life isn't the only one at stake here. I think insisting that pregnant children (and you are still a child) give birth borders on abuse.

Answer 4

I think I can help...I am 14 and know exactly what I would do in you situation. I would keep it. Don't abort it. God is the One who should decide if the child should live or not, not you. Keep it, don't kill it. I understand it would mess up your life, but if you kill it, you are going to have to live with that pain for the REST of your life. And when you are older someday and have other children and you are going to have to look at them and think, They had another brother/sister, and I killed it. I know you should keep it. I wish that you could talk with one of my youth leaders or teachers or someone around me, because they would be so much more prepared than I am. If you can wait just a few more days, I will get you some websites and things to read that will help. Best of luck. And PLEASE don't abort it. If you cannot or will not keep the child give it up for adoption, my neighbors would love to have a child, they are trying so hard, and it isn't working, they are thinking of adopting. I guarantee you there is a loving family out there who would LOVE to have your child. Don't abort it. It would be the worst decision of your life, next to deciding not to follow Christ. I'll get you some resources, just wait a bit.

Answer 5

you are one year younger than my daughter- and if she come home and told me she was pregnant- I would encourage her to place for adoption- she would have no problem with that, because she is adopted herself, and her older brother is and so am I. Our 3 birth moms chose to do the right thing, but it was hard. It was a great sacrifice greatest but the sacrifice was not the loss of our lives- You said that you know that having sex at 14 was a bad decision- you are right- and that is a very grown up determination- now you and your boyfriend need to make a decision that is better- I cannot make you do anything, but I do encourage you to think very hard before you abort. If you were a couple of yrs older even I could say you could raise your child but you yourself are just a child- but there are couples out there that cannot have children, and are praying for a child. Give life to your child, and you will be blessed. Choose life!!! I do not know if you can email or not, but if you can, please email me, I would love to "talk" more.

Answer 6

Re. "i need to know what you would do if you were in my shoes."

Hard to answer, never having been in them, but. Had I ended up pregnant as a teen-ager, I would NOT have hesitated to get an abortion.

And, yes, adoption is not a trivial thing as the anti-abortion crowd might have you believe. Neither is pregnancy. It's exhausting, it's expensive (NB: I'm Canadian -- I don't just mean health care costs; think of a new wardrobe and all manner of miscellany). There's no way I would've been able to handle it at 14.

Re. the father: how old is he? It's not that you should ignore his sentiments entirely, but if he's your age, he has, well, no idea what keeping the baby will involve.

And, unpleasant as it is, abortion is a fact of life. See
http://www.johnstonsarchive.net/policy/abortion/index.html

You will hardly be alone or unique if you choose to have one.

Please make up your mind quickly, though.

Answer 7

You should keep the baby, don't kill it, it's not the baby's fault. You shouldn't have not only had sex, but you should have thought about all of the consequences of it. And if you do get an abortion, you're going to look back on it one day and feel horrible because you sacrificed a baby's life for your own. If you don't want the total responsibilities, put the baby up for adoption so someone who deserves the child can love it.

Answer 8

I do not want to confuse you or make you feel bad but in my opinion abortion is murder. I am not sure how far along you are but a fetus can feel and some of those ways they abort is so inhumane. They suck it out piece by piece or stab it right on through and pull it out. If you are a big enough girl to have sex then you should watch some videos on abortion. I know when my daughter is old enough to have sex I will make her know what the consiquences are. Yes you are too young to raise a baby alone but what other choice do you have but adoption. There are many loving people out there but can you live with that decesion or the abortion decision? I think your parents should help you with the right choice not people you dont know. Good Luck and God Bless.

Answer 9

When I was 24 I got my 18 year old g/f pregnant and I didn't find out until I broke up with her. She had an abortion after much persuasion from me.

It was wrong of me to do that, and I'm sure she hasn't healed.

Have the baby, make the choice of what to do and stick with it.

However you should give it up for adoption if you can't see the relationship with the father going anywhere. Plus if he was 18 or older and having sex with you, that's not a good role model to have. Give the baby away. There are so many people wanting to adopt.

Answer 10

If i was 14 and pregnant then i would get an abortion and i would not care what people thought about me. You are too young to have a baby. You seriously need to get on birth control after you have (if you do) an abortion or don't have sex.
I agree with you on your add. I could not carry a pregnancy for 9 months, have the baby then hand it off to strangers. I would just keep it like you said.
This is up to you. I hope you make the right decision.
Good luck

Answer 11

I to got pregnant at 14, My boyfriend left me, I wouldnt have anyone to help me take care of him. I chose adoption. Its not wrong and abortion just takes another kid away from someone that desperatly wants a kid. I looked through hundreds of porfolios untill I found the perfect family. I still see him till this day. He is 7 years old and so so happy. I dont know why people say such bad things about adoption. Yeah im not going to lie, it was hard at first. but then you know you did the right thing. Please consider adoption, there is so many good couples out there dying to have a baby that can not conceive. You could become their angel. Just like me!! Good Luck!