Hi; i am 23 f and am married to a person who is incapable of performing sex with me, though he loves me. i am married to him for last three years and for the very reason that he loves me and he is alone, i dont want to leave him. but i feel myself empty and do want more than that. confused. No pervert advice please.
2007-02-27 11:45:19 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We went to a doctor and he said that apparently there is no problem. doctor gave anti depresent and viagra but it didnt work.
2007-02-27 12:05:57 · update #1
he has got no one in the whole world, besides me.
2007-02-27 12:09:07 · update #2
Is this really a marriage? I'm not saying sex is marriage, but it doesn't seem like marriage, if there is no sex. I'm speaking of young people, not 90 year olds marrying for companionship. Loving him is great, but, he needs fixing. Help the guy, even if he isn't trying himself. Your marriage won't endure, unless he gets help.
2007-02-27 13:02:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek help from a sex therapist then and the doctor may have missed something here. He may be gay as well or just not interested in you that way for some reason. I would go to a specialist for a second opinion. That doctor may have overlooked something. Also go to http://www.drphil.com and email him for help and advice in this matter. It is not really his fault if he cannot physically perform sex with you as this is more then likely a health issue. Sex toys and board games might help though. Maybe he can give you oral and get you off that way and satisfy you as much as he can. You may also want to try and use orgasm beads and a vibrator or something like that. Just some suggestions.
Also now that i think about it was be abused sexually in the past by someone? If so this may cause him not to be able to perforn as he should as well. He may need therapy and counseling for this if he was sexually abused in the past or as a child.
2007-02-27 20:17:33 · answer #2 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you stay in this marriage, then you won't gain anything!
You have to think about your future and don't put your life on hold if he isn't making you happy! Do something!
You said that you want more, and that you're empty.
Soul searching is what you need.
You will go on for more years than 3 if you stay the way you are! Get Counseling and you will have "direction."
2007-02-27 19:52:46 · answer #3 · answered by julesrules 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has a problem getting a rise... then why don't the two of you go to the toy store and buy somethings that might spice things up a little bit... buy things that both of you can enjoy together... there is a lot of interesting things that you can find there... and things that I am sure will be helpful for both of you...
2007-02-27 20:14:35 · answer #4 · answered by ***Girlie Girl*** 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In all seriousness, I used to have a roommate (who was a great friend) and he had that problem too. He LOVED women, but just couldn't get it "up". He had no problems getting it up on his own, with magazines, etc. But, he got nervous w/women and went "limp". Try to relax him, oral... etc? Maybe he needs some confidence too. Perhaps also, he may masturbate too much-that's a possibility. try new things, it might work! Best of luck:)
2007-02-27 22:48:15 · answer #5 · answered by Soon to be mommy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's incapable of performing sex? you mean he physically can't? well send him to a doctor, most of those things can be fixed by a doctor. Otherwise get some toys and sex movies and have him watch you!
2007-02-27 19:48:57 · answer #6 · answered by trishay79 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow... that sucks!!!
I don't think I could stay married.. I mean... you do have needs... if this is never going to change... being so young... I don't think you should stay... if you were older and been together for a long time then maybe I would stay... that is a very tough one... I don't think I could do it though...
2007-02-27 19:56:14 · answer #7 · answered by David 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
youre young and yes you need more but the reason you state is not another to stay youre not a care taker youre his wife he ether seek help or its time to move on good luck
2007-02-27 20:39:02 · answer #8 · answered by nightman122554 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can do one of two things. stay the course you r on now and over time it will get worse, believe me. or you can find yourself someone and have an "affair". now and then to relieve tensions.
2007-02-27 19:50:23 · answer #9 · answered by bubba 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to a sex therpist or whatever for help
2007-03-02 23:03:12 · answer #10 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋